My La Toya Dictionary


    La Toya Jackson is one of the patron saints of Pop Trash Addicts - as the multitude of posts devoted to Queen Toy clearly attest. I've had a couple of queries about some of the Toy terminology that I use, so I have decided to put together a La Toya Dictionary. As La Toya's new single, "Armed & Famous", is apparently ready to hit radio and propel La Toya to international superstardom, there is no time like the present for a little La Toya education!

    La Toya Dictionary

    AmyJa-Tail’s technologically challenged secretary.

    Baby Sister – A formal nickname for La Toya’s sister Janet. Stems from La Toya’s 1986 song about Janet, called “Baby Sister”.

    Back door – La Toya’s anus. This term became popular with Toy Soldiers after La Toya sang about rubbing her big back door in “Just Wanna Dance”.

    Chicken Fajitas – La Toya’s favourite vegetarian meal.

    The Church – An abbreviation for The Church of La Toya, which is the spiritual home of La Toya fans.

    Do a chest-to-chest – A reference to lyrics in “Just Wanna Dance”. Literal meaning is to rub one’s breasts against someone else’s breasts in a sexual manner.

    Feel somebody’s funk – To be attracted to someone. A reference to La Toya’s debut single, and Dutch top 20 smash hit, “If You Feel The Funk”.

    Front door – La Toya’s vagina. A reference to lyrics in the song “Sexbox”.

    Get correct – A reference to lyrics in La Toya’s New Zealand mega-hit “You’re Gonna Get Rocked”. Another way of saying “wisen up”.

    Gordon Years – The years La Toya spent married to Jack Gordon.

    Ja-Tail – La Toya’s useless record company – which has still managed to not release a single commercially available item in 5 years.

    Ja-Tail Gate – The scandal that ensued when a Toy Soldier discovered that Ja-Tail’s office is a post box.

    Jack Gordon – La Toya’s psychotic and abusive ex-manager, who is currently burning in hell.

    Janft - Janet Jackson

    Jeffre Phillips – La Toya’s incompetent manager and rumoured gay husband.

    Manet – Janet Jackson. This nickname brings attention to Janet’s masculine appearance.

    Manita Ho – A play on Janet Jackson’s middle name, Damita Jo. This nickname brings attention to both Janet’s masculine build and the fact that she is a slut.
    Toy Toy, The Tranny & Manita Ho

    Psychic Toy – References to La Toya’s reputed psychic power and supernatural abilities come from La Toya fronting a psychic hotline.

    Put someone in check - A threat of violence. This is another reference to "You're Gonna Get Rocked".

    Rub one’s big back door – A reference to the lyrics in “Just Wanna Dance”. Means to rub one’s buttocks in a sexual fashion.

    Sexbox - La Toya's vagina. A reference to lyrics in La Toya's Dutch smash hit "Sexbox".

    Throw it down – La Toya claims to be “throwin’ it down with a new sound” in “You’re Gonna Get Rocked, meaning to “show what one’s got”.

    Toy – A more formal version of La Toya’s nickname.

    Toy’s Haven – La Toya’s fan chatroom.

    Toy Soldiers – La Toya’s fans.

    Toy Toy – La Toya’s nickname. Fans use it as a term of endearment.

    Toygasm – An orgasm experienced while reading about, watching or listening to La Toya.

    Toygate – The scandal that followed La Toya claiming that Michael Jackson was a child molester.

    Toyriffic – Terrific but in a camp, outrageous or fabulously unsuccessful way.

    Toytacular – Spectacular but in a camp, outrageous or fabulously unsuccessful way.

    Toytastic – Fantastic but in a camp, outrageous or fabulously unsuccessful way.

    The Tranny – Michael Jackson. A reference to Michael’s cross-dressing antics.

    Trial Toy Toy – A reference to La Toya's fabulous publicity whoring antics at Michael Jackson's trial.

    The Universal Love Of La Toya – The original place of online worship for La Toya fans.

    Walls – La Toya’s vaginal opening. A reference to lyrics in La Toya’s Euro-house classic “Sexual Feeling”.

    Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/2007/01/my-la-toya-dictionary.html
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