La Toya reclaims Queen of Pop throne

In news that will make Toy Soldiers weep tears of joy and relief, the pretty and talented Jackson sister has released new music for the first time in over a decade. It doesn't matter that the 6 of the 7 songs on La Toya's stunning autobiography soundtrack EP were recorded in 2002 and leaked in 2006. That's just how Toy rolls! "Starting Over" is the easily the best Jackson album since "Thriller" but the tracklist is a bit perplexing.

What the hell is "Mafia Style" doing on there instead of her iconic smash (in waiting) "Player"? I'm also gutted that Toy Toy's exquisite calypso anthem "Tropical Breeze" missed the cut but at least "No More Drama" and "Just Wanna Dance" - which, in true Toy style, has been mislabelled "Jut Wanna Dance" - were included! The highlight, however, has to be the legendary beauty's new song.

"Starting Over" raises pop music to glorious new heights that derivative flops like Janet could only dream of. While the rest of the music industry is busy recycling the 80s, La Toya revisits the mid-noughties with intentionally dated beats (lifted straight from her Star Ice jingle) and delivers exquisite lyrics like "say what you wanna say, just live your life straight or gay!" Lady Gaga could never.

Here is the full tracklist:

Mafia Style (Skit)
Should've Left You
No More Drama
Don't Want You No More
Free The World
Just Wanna Dance
Starting Over

"Starting Over (Songs Inspired By The Book)" is available to download now from Australian iTunes. Make sure to write a positive review when you buy it. I've already thrown in my 2 cents! To get an idea of the aural treat that awaits you, here's "Free The World" - La Toya's heartbreaking response to September 11. La Toya's Grammy nominated songwriting genius is on full display in this modern classic and her vocal makes Adele sound like Ashanti. Goodbye pretenders. The Queen is back!


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A taste of La Toya

The first taste of La Toya's pioneering autobiography soundtrack EP is finally here! "Starting Over" sounds like it was recorded in 2003 - and it probably was - but that doesn't stop the future #1 smash (on the bubbling under of the Billboard dance radio airplay chart) from being one of the year's finest singles. I love the perky beat and Toy Toy's Grammy winning lyrical genius is on full display:

All on my own and I'm finally startin' over,
Tonight let's celebrate until I say this party's over

Janet who? And then there's the stunning breakdown that gives me shivers and an erection. You will well and truly feel her funk when the pope of pop unleashes the full power of her one octave range vocals and sassily sings:

I don't need no cure, there ain't no lookin' back
I don't need no cure, no I don't have regrets

Bring on the rest of the EP! I think we can safely say that La Toya has album and single of the year already in the bag. Listen to a preview of her next first hit below.

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La Toya - Singer, Dancer, Actress, Legend

How odd that two of the biggest names in the history of music were born one day apart. Kylie turned 43 yesterday, while La Toya celebrates her 55th birthday today. Geminis must have global chart domination written in their DNA! These women have so much in common. Stunning beauty, mesmerising charisma, millions of adoring fans and less successful younger sisters with child-bearing hips. They really should do a duet! So how to honour the Benjamin Buttons of pop? I could dig out a million different YouTube clips that showcase her vocal brilliance and legendary stagecraft but I've decided to post La Toya's iconic starring role as a voodoo priestess in Counterstrike. If you haven't seen this, you're in for a treat. Every second is television gold! Watch in awe as the sexiest woman alive discusses the harsh reality of ageing:

Dowdy woman: "What about inner beauty?"
Toy: "There's no money in it!"

Toy Toy then goes all kinds of crazy on the poor bitch by carrying out an extremely camp voodoo ritual, which seems to involves a lot of ranting and sword wielding while wearing the most fabulous outfit of the 1980s. It all ends in disaster when Toy meets a completely unjust demise - she just wanted to remain pretty! - but I don't want to give too much away. I really think La Toya should return to acting after releasing her book, its accompanying soundtrack and new studio album. She was clearly robbed of Golden Globe glory for her breathtakingly convincing turn as a lunatic on Counterstrike and I'm sure her acting prowess has only deepened with the passage of time.
Dear Toy, thank you for making the world a vastly more interesting place. May you still be startin' over when you're 100! Lots of love from your loyal soldier, Mike XSource URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Toy%20Toy
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La Toya's pioneering new album!

La Toya Jackson has always been a marketing genius. Not that it has ever actually resulted in any success but that's beside the point. This is a woman who released an album called "Bad Girl" while her brother was still promoting "Bad". A diva who posed nude on the cover of "Stop! In The Name Of Love" to remind people that she was once in Playboy. An entrepreneur who opened a psychic hotline despite possessing no psychic ability. Yes, Toy Soldiers - our glorious leader has always been at the forefront of publicity whoring and that trend continues with her decade-in-the-making "Starting Over" album. Instead of merely releasing her sure-to-be Grammy nominated opus on its own, Toy Toy is plugging it as the soundtrack to her latest autobiography. Also titled "Starting Over".

The book, which is now available to pre-order from Amazon, sounds like a truly toytastic read. According to the blurb:

"La Toya Jackson was always closer to Michael than anyone knew. In this heartfelt memoir, she pays tribute to his tortured soul — revealing the intimate moments she shared with the deeply troubled pop legend. The first sibling to arrive at the hospital after Michael was rushed there, and the informant on his death certificate, La Toya noticed suspicious details and demanded a second autopsy. For the first time, she unveils shocking behind-the-scenes dealings that she believes led to her brother's death."

No doubt Toy will add a Pulitzer Prize to her already impressive CV before the end of the year! The soundtrack, which is set for release on June 21, is apparently an EP of older tracks. Never fear, Janet's prettier sister is just being resourceful. Apparently the ageless beauty has a second album of new material on the way with a single scheduled for July. The excitement is almost more than I can handle! If her haunting soundtrack album does contain older material - I'm guessing it will feature her stunning Michael Jackson tribute "Home" - then I hope "No More Drama" makes the cut. I've been playing this stunning gem a lot lately. Not only is the YouTube clip a work of genius but Toy was rocking the urban dance sound 8 years before Rihanna. It even includes the legendary lyric "like Jan said I'm in control". A pioneer, I tell you!

Via Toy Experience.


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An Open Letter To Lady Gaga

Dear Lady Gaga,

You are one shady bitch. I loved your first two albums - you know, when you actually made fun music - and couldn't care less if you recycle Madonna's entire back catalogue but the time has come to stop ripping off La Toya. I know it's hard not to be inspired by the greatest vocalist of the past 25 years. Toy Toy's own sister spent decades jackin' her swagger but at least Janet had the decency to become a massive flop and disappear, while you continue to rob the Priestess of Pop blind. At first I thought your La Toya obsession was cute. It's clear she's everything you aspire to be (and more) but your latest image is the final straw. You're obviously trying to con Toy Toy's tens of fans into buying your new album by dressing up as her long lost twin sister. Well, I'm on to you and plan to expose your evil trickery to the world. Listed below are six irrefutable examples of your thieving ways. In the words of the great one herself - it's time to get correct!

Yours in utter disgust,

Mike

Example 1: Her new look

It annoys me that deluded monsters hail Lady Gaga's alien look as innovative and cutting edge when La Toya has been compared to extra-terrestrials for years. Compare the following pics. Need I say more?


Example 2: Taking to the runway

When the world's least original pop star walked the runway for Tierry Mugler fans fell over themselves proclaiming Gaga a fashion icon. If only they knew the Benjamin Button of pop stole the idea from Toy Toy.


Example 3: Hitching her wagon to Beyoncé

One of the smartest moves Gaga ever made was roping in the services of the vastly more popular and critically acclaimed music icon Beyoncé to give her some credibility and class. Only, you guessed it. Toy Toy got there first!


Example 4: Red carpet publicity whoring

Mother Monster's arrival at this year's Grammy Awards made international headlines but the bitch has nothing on the thinking man's Jackson, who has turned red carpet whoring into an artform. Even if no one's there!


Example 5: The Eiffel Tower

One of Toy Toy's most iconic photoshoots took place in front of the Eiffel Tower, so I guess it was only a matter of time before Gaga tried to emulate her glamorous idol.


Example 6: Ripping off Madonna

Lady Gaga thought she was so clever ripping off "Express Yourself" but it's clear she got the idea from La Toya, who scored a massive top 30 smash (in Holland) some 20 years earlier with a song that samples "Like A Virgin". Compare "Born This Way" with the vastly superior "Sexbox" below.

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La Toya Conquers Spain!

While her has-been sister desperately plans a one country world tour to kickstart her flop career, the pride of the Jackson clan has been rubbing shoulders with European royalty. It must be cold there in Toy Toy's shadow, Jan! Contemporary music's finest vocalist jetted into Seville to judge a horse show and almost caused a riot with her breathtaking beauty. Spain hasn't been rocked this hard since the last time Tony Tornado got drunk and walked the streets of Chueca singing "Los Amores"! I have no idea how La Toya snagged this gig. Wearing a horse hair weave doesn't make you an equine authority but I digress. Toy's status as an international A Lister is confirmed by her attendance and the footage of her arriving at the event in full flamenco dress (below) is the most fabulous thing I've seen in 2010. La Toya looks absolutely stunning but I can't stop laughing at her elaborate poses. Someone should have thrown her some castanets to complete the look or at least taken the jug of Sangria off her until after the event! Seriously, if I wasn't sure that Spain is my spiritual homeland before this debacle - I am now 100% convinced. Watch in awe as La Toya redefines beauty, elegance and sophistication as we know it!


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Toy Update - Due To Popular Demand

I love you guys. When you're not rubbishing my love for faceless dance music or hating on my faves, you're spamming my inbox with breathless demands for more Toy Toy. Your wish is my command. I've actually been toying around (pun intended) with the idea of doing a "No Relations" retrospective for months now but I thought I'd tide you over with a quick update on the legendary icon's latest antics. Basically, the high priestess of pop has been giving a master class in publicity whoring. Her first appearance at a shopping mall almost caused a riot. Thousands of Cali Swag fans Toy Soldiers turned out to see our goddess hawk milkshakes with hip hop band Cali Swag District. They apparently have a hit song at the moment (who knew) called "Teach Me How To Dougie" and they kindly taught Toy Toy the dance moves in return for some career advice. No, seriously. The proof is below! After single-handedly plotting Cali Swag's journey to the top of the charts, La Toya hit up a fashion show at Macy's and wowed the paparazzi with her timeless poise and beauty. This is my favourite snap. Poor Brandy. She looks like a withered, old crack whore in comparison to the glorious siren next to her. As her duet partner Monica once sang - don't take it personal. It's just one of dem days!


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La Toya's Spanish Triumph!

It's been 15 long years since Toy Toy's last studio album flopped worse than "Bionic" but her reputation as the greatest performer in the history of music grows stronger by the day. Take the latest irrefutable piece of evidence to surface on YouTube. A kindred spirit has just uploaded one of the most fabulous clips I have ever seen (below). Rumours of La Toya's eccentric early 90s TV performances run rife among fans - if anyone has the footage of our Queen covering Patsy Cline's "Crazy" on horseback in Mexico, please email me! - but very few of them ever see the light of day. Count your blessings then that this bravura display is now available for your viewing ecstasy. Filmed for Spanish TV in late 1991 (judging from her nose and the fact she's promoting "No Relations"), Toy rocks España to its very foundations with a stunning medley of hits. She begins with her seminal classic "Playboy" before raising the bar even higher with her #23 Dutch smash "Sexbox". I don't even know where to start. It's one of those things that you really have to see with your own eyes. like the Mona Lisa. But here are some highlights to keep an eye out for:

1. La Toya's breathtaking outfit. I love how she pays tribute to Spain's rich cultural heritage by dressing in a gold lamé matador's jacket. Red roses and a matching cummerbund complete her ravishing ensemble.

2. The hilarious Spanish dancers - who range in size from vertically challenged to positively gigantic. Toy Toy probably found them in a Chueca sauna and took pity. I'm naming them Jordi, Pablo, Fernando and Tony.

3. Toy's fabulously incompetent miming. Keep watching to the very end when the top of her microphone falls off. LOL!

4. Some of the most amazing choreography ever captured on film. The high priestess of pop's incredible ability to recycle Michael's dance moves is genuinely impressive, while the hilarious routine at 4:10 minutes clearly inspired Katie Melua's "The Flood" video. What a thieving skank!

5. The crowd. These classy Spaniards can't get enough of La Toya. They clap, cheer, dance along, give her a standing ovation and beg for more. Spanish TV audiences clearly have impeccable taste!

Brace yourself for 9 minutes of pure, unadulterated bliss. Janet could never!


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Stop Press: La Toya Reunites With Bubbles!

Toy Toy's new status as the people's princess has been underlined by her latest act of selfless philanthropy. Just days after fanning the flames of Michael Jackson's memory by serenading Russia with a glorious live rendition of "Earth Song", the tireless humanitarian has captured the hearts and minds of millions around the globe by emotionally reuniting with her dead brother's chimpanzee. In a lucky coincidence, cameras were rolling to capture the moment and the footage is breathtaking. La Toya is the first member of the Jackson clan to visit Bubbles at the Florida ape sanctuary (cruel Janet is clearly too busy releasing flop albums to care) and she is genuinely overwhelmed by the occasion. I love it when Toy lovingly hoses the chimp down and tries to get his attention by loudly calling out her name. But the defining exchange begins at about 3:20 mins when Michael's favourite sister bursts into tears and asks Bubbles if he remembers her. It's simultaneously heartbreaking and hilarious. Some people question La Toya's intentions even though she's made it clear that her only mission in life is to free the world but I think she's completely dedicated to maintaining Michael's memory - even if it means postponing her sure to be #1 platinum smash hit album for another 9 years. Warning: This video is a real tearjerker. It actually made me cry!


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La Toya's Stunning Triumph!

I've received a lot of hurtful emails this week accusing me of rudely ignoring the most significant musical moment of 2010. Rest assured, Toy Soldiers. La Toya's stunning triumph in Moscow did not go unnoticed. I was simply too overwhelmed by the magnitude of the occasion to write anything sensible. Our goddess finally had her moment in the sun and proved once and for all that she is the most beautiful and talented Jackson. In case you've been hiding under a rock or are just a sad, delusional Janatic - Toy Toy rocked the Muz-TV Awards show in Russia with an incredible rendition of Michael Jackson's "Earth Song". She was assisted by a couple of my favourite Eastern European pop stars (Dima Bilan, Sergey Lazarov etc) but there's no denying who the star of the show was. La Toya's otherworldly glamour and pitch perfect vocals had the crowd entranced from the second she took the stage wearing some of Michael's old pyjamas. There have been some libellous accusations that Toy Toy mimed but I won't even dignify that filth with a response. The Duchess of Dance spent most of the 90s touring the former Soviet block and a host of bankrupt African nations. She has nothing to prove! Anyway, sit back - grab some lube and a tissue - and prepare yourself for possibly the best performance of all time. The haters have been put in check!


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Calling All Toy Soldiers

Dear Toy Soldiers,

Our place of worship has come under attack. The Church of La Toya was abruptly shut down a couple of days ago after allegations of impropriety by a certain administrator were aired in the forum. Toy's Church has since reappeared on a new server - only without the forum or the original founders, who made the site so special in the first place. This saddens me greatly. I know it's not cool to admit but I've made life long friends on the various Toy Toy fansites. Happily, Tommie is trying to bring everyone together again at the Gospel of La Toya. He promises a return to the sense of irreverence and fun that shaped Toy's Haven (the pre-Church forum). I've even been invited to write another series of the Erotic Adventures Of Toy Toy! For old time's sake, here's the first installment. I wanted to post the episode where La Toya goes down on Celine Dion but I don't want to be threatened with legal action. Again. See you all at Toy's new home.

Mike

X

Part 1

The alarm pierced her ears like tiny daggers. Grabbing the nearest dildo, La Toya smashed her clock radio into a hundred tiny pieces. It couldn't possibly be morning already, Toy Toy thought to herself as she sat up in bed and groggily attached her mattered weave. Looking around her once glamorous boudoir, La Toya's eyes widened in disbelief. Clothing was scattered around the room and empty bottles of Star Ice littered the floor. Getting up to investigate, La Toya felt a familiar burning sensation in her big back door. With the intention of sitting on a packet of frozen peas, Toy Toy stumbled into the kitchen and gasped in horror. The fridge was empty. Janet had raided her pantry again.

To Be Continued...Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Toy%20Toy
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Toy Toy's Latest Triumph

Toy Toy has put the rest of the music world to shame. Yet again. While tragic nobodies like Jennifer Lopez and Britney Spears hawk their cheap perfumes and tatty wares to the masses, the thinking man's Jackson has just signed on as the face of the world's most expensive hand cream. Take that, haters! As far as I'm concerned this is a match made in heaven. Clearly the first thing that pops into your mind when you think of eternal youth and beauty is La Toya. She hasn't aged a day since Reagan was in office - thanks to a strict diet and no exercise according to her latest interview. Yes, adoring fans, Toy has given away some of her highly prized beauty secrets in a bid to promote Alessandro's Dream Cream (bottom)!

This video has me completely hypnotised. I can't remember the last time I've seen so much glamour captured on film. La Toya looks as ravishing as ever but she's almost shown up by the German stunner sitting next to her. As endlessly fascinated as I was to learn our Queen's hangover cure, the most exciting thing about the interview is confirmation that the Duchess of Dance will release a new album THIS YEAR! Admittedly, she's been saying that since 2002 but her manager correctly points out that 2010 marks the 30th anniversary of her debut and there are rumours that Teddy Riley has just been hired as the head of music development at Toy Toy's incredibly useless record label. Given his recent collaboration with Lady Gaga (Teddy produced "Teeth") this would be quite a coup for Ja-Tail. I'm extremely sceptical but stranger things have happened. Like La Toya being hired as the face of a luxury cosmetics company!

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La Toya Covers Whitney - Live In Poland!

I don't know how we all survived before Youtube. One minute you're aimlessly trawling through old Taka Boom videos, the next you stumble across a freshly uploaded clip of the Pope of Pop belting out "I Just Wanna Dance With Somebody" in 1993. Needless to say, Toy Toy's stunning performance is a sight to behold. Anyone lucky enough to own a copy of "Live At Balleys" knows the unparalleled brilliance of a La Toya concert and she really brought her A game to Poland. Believe me, the former Eastern Block was well and truly rocked by our Queen's electric dance moves and magnetic stage presence - not to mention the high budget production values (ie. a smoke machine) and a costume which redefines the very essence of glamour! The highlight for me is Toy's hilarious disclaimer at the beginning that she doesn't require audience participation, closely followed by her orgasmic squeals. The thinking man's Jackson really does have the voice of an angel using a vibrator. I don't think it's a coincidence that Whitney went off the rails in early 90s. She clearly caught wind of this performance and knew that La Toya had her beat in the beauty and talent stakes. It's not easy living in Toy's shadow - just ask Janet!Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Toy%20Toy
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Battle Of The Has Beens - Janet Vs J Lo

The close of 2009 finds two ex-superstars hitting the comeback trail in the desperate hope of reclaiming some of their rapidly fading former glory. In case you missed their not so spectacular performances at the recent American Music Awards, I'm talking about Jenny from the block and the ugly Jackson sister. It's been a lean decade for both divas. J Lo hasn't had a top 10 hit (as the featured artist) since 2002, while Janet has been a permanent resident of flop city since "Someone To Call My Lover" snuck into the top 5 way back in 2001. As far as falls from grace go, both have been pretty spectacular and it will be interesting to see if either one can claw their way back to any kind of relevance. It's a close call. La Toya's less talented sister is currently riding a wave of Jackson nostalgia in the wake of Michael's death but if the quality of their new songs is any indication - my money's on Jennifer. Just ignore that SHITEOUS "Fresh Out The Oven" taster single at all costs.

Before I get to J Lo, I have to give Janet some credit for finally releasing a semi-decent single. "Make Me" is basically a shoddy remake of the vastly superior "Rock With U" and pales in comparison to La Toya's genre defining masterpiece "Home" but it's an enjoyable burst of upbeat fun and avoids mentioning Jan's vagina for its entire three and a half minute running time. I'm sure hell just froze over. Moreover, Darkchild is suddenly very hot again and Manita's monthly liposuction really pays off in the video. "Make Me" could be her ticket back out of Toy Toy's shadow but I'm not convinced. The song lacks a killer hook and sounds a bit insipid next to Beyoncé and Rihanna's hot urban dance beats. Anyway, points for trying. As for La Lopez - I'm impressed. I have to admit I've always had a soft spot for Jennifer. The bitch can't sing for shit and speaks worse Spanish than I do but when she's given the right material ("Waiting For Tonight", "I'm Real" and "Get Right"), the results are usually pretty fabulous. Her hideous collaboration with Pitbull had me seriously worried but the official lead single from her new album is great. "Louboutins" (below) is a real grower. I hated the song at first but now it's lodged in my head. The Dream redeems himself somewhat for destroying Mariah's "Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel" with his hook filled production and the layers of crisp beats stand up to anything currently on the radio. Fingers crossed it's a hit 'cause those shoes are expensive!

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La Toya - The Lost Video

I have to apologise for the lack of updates recently. My life has just been more insane than usual. Things will hopefully return to normal later in the week but in the meantime, please bear with me. Today's post is brief but still rather fun. Toy Soldiers (ie. La Toya fans) have long lived under the impression that our Goddess only filmed four film clips in her stunning 30 year career. "Heart Don't Lie" redefined the medium, while "(Ain't Nobody Loves You) Like I Do" remains a camp classic. "You're Gonna Get Rocked" set new standards as the fiercest urban video of all time and more recently, "Home" took the internet by storm - reminding the world of Toy's creative genius. However, fans have long debated the existence of a video clip for 1989's "Bad Girl". A couple of days ago, the mystery was solved... kind of.

La Toya's 6th studio album was recorded in Germany in the late 80s and a lead single was released. In typical Toy Toy style, "Bad Girl" flopped worse than Brooke Hogan and Heidi Montag put together and the similarly titled album was shelved until 1991. Rumours began circulating that a video for "Bad Girl" was filmed but it remained shrouded in mystery until it unexpectedly appeared on youtube a few days ago. I have to admit that I always thought the film clip was an old wives' tale. For a very simple reason. I lived in Germany as a child and most television shows had elaborate visual montages for guest performers at the time. I vividly remember Toy (or fake La Toya as the case may be) performing "Don't Break My Heart" on TV - complete with video screens and a panther! - and I always assumed the "Bad Girl" video might be an edit of a similar performance. Watching it today, I'm still not convinced but it doesn't matter. This is a riveting masterpiece and showcases Toy Toy's stunning dance moves, which I'm sure you'll agree put Janet's pathetic choreography to shame! I love the zero budget special effects and the fact that La Toya's backing dancers were obviously drafted from the nearest gay club.

The song itself is an amazing attempt to cash in on Michael's "Bad" but I think the track holds up well as a late 80s anthem. The chorus is catchy and the production bounces along cheerfully enough. One of these days I'll write a proper post about one of La Toya's best albums but in the meantime check out this rare and amazing video - regardless if it is official or not. Nobody does it quite like Toy Toy!

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La Toya's Ode To Janet

Whenever I'm feeling down, I play some La Toya and the world instantly feels a bit brighter. This week I've been pumping Toy Toy's 1986 triumph "Imagination". The album was a massive flop (even by the Pope of Pop's low standards) but I love it to bits - particularly the calypso-tastic "On A Night Like This" and the dubiously titled "Boys Got Somethin' Girls Ain't Got". In a strange coincidence, my friend and regular Pop Trash contributor Magical Froggy has just put the finishing touches to a stunning video for the album's most infamous track. "Baby Sister" is notorious among Toy Soldiers and Janatics as La Toya's musical swipe at her much less talented sister Janet. While not as bitter as Jermaine's fuck you note to Michael (1991's "Word To The Badd"), the song still packs a punch. The line "you used to love me til you met my baby sister" takes on a whole new meaning when you consider the song was released in the same year that "Control" turned Janet into a superstar and I wouldn't be surprised if the lyrics about man stealing and back stabbing were also based on fact given Manita Ho's uncontrollable vagina! However, "Baby Sister" is more than just a novelty hit. It's a shiny piece of pop perfection with gorgeous 80s synths and a perky little chorus. The song was also a critical smash winning the Outstanding Song Award at the 16th Annual World Popular Song Festival in Japan. Take that, Toy haters! I think MF's video (below) perfectly captures the essence of the song. My favourite bit is Janet standing outside McDonalds and Joe's cameo at the end. Enjoy!

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Come Inside La Toya's Walls

I firmly believe "Sexual Feeling" is the litmus test that distinguishes true Toy Soldiers from casual fans. If La Toya's 1990 cult classic makes you want to give the nearest tranny a chest to chest or throws you into a big back door shaking frenzy - chances are you officially feel the joy of Toy! As far as I'm concerned the track ranks as one of the finest achievements of 20th century pop music. Everything about "Sexual Feeling" is utterly epic and jaw droppingly trashtastic. I don't even know where to start. After all, this is a song that tastefully combines minutes of erotic groaning, legendary lines like "get it wet" and "come inside my walls", La Toya rapping as well as Japanese and Italian lyrics! A lot of the credit has to go to Claudio and Franco Donato, who spent most of the 80s at the forefront of Italo-disco until working with Toy Toy killed their respective careers. The production is like a time capsule of late 80s influences. There are touches of house, spashes of Italo disco and a strong under current of hip hop. It shouldn't work - and many would argue that it doesn't - but I find the combination utterly irresistible.

"Sexual Feeling" is also poignant because it represents the moment that La Toya threw in the towel as far as trying to be a credible pop star and became the tragic puppet of her abusive and demented ex-husband Jack Gordon. I have no doubt Jack actually believed this deliciously dirty slice of pop porn would rocket La Toya to superstardom. And in his defence, if anyone else had recorded "Sexual Feeling" it probably would have been a #1 hit on shock value alone. Particularly when you consider the fact that the song pre-dates Madonna's hypersexual "Erotica" era and Janet's super sleazy self-titled 1993 album. Speaking of La Toya's boring sister, Janet clearly ripped of "Sexual Feeling" on her 1994 single "Throb" - proving once and for all that Toy not only got the looks but also the talent! As a special treat, I've included the song's eye popping fan made video. It's already been removed from youtube for being soft porn so get in quick. Believe me, you will need a tissue at the ready! However, please note that the video version is an edit. For the full "Sexual Feeling" experience check out the five and a half minute version. Mi piace!

EDIT: It was fun while it lasted but my lovely video was removed for violating Youtube regulations. I might post it on my Facebook instead!Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Toy%20Toy
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La Toya's "Home" Video - In Full!

A friend sent me a text in the early hours of the morning to say that La Toya's comeback video had finally been unveiled and I rushed out of bed like a child at Christmas to check out what I assumed would be the greatest achievement in filmmaking since Citizen Kane. "Home" is absolutely adorable and I love it to bits but I hope I'm not cast out of the Church of La Toya for admitting that I'm ever so slightly underwhelmed.

Don't get me wrong. The video is a syrupy sweet delight and showcases the Pope of Pop's stunning beauty to startling effect. If nothing else, Toy has officially reclaimed her throne as the sexiest woman alive. I can't believe how youthful and luminous she looks. They have seriously reverse engineered her nose or broken new ground in CGI technology because Toy Toy's precious beak is nowhere to be seen. I also think the video is beautifully filmed and surprisingly tasteful. I was slightly concerned that Jeffre would run around in sheet to symbolise Michael's ghost but he was obviously too busy watching re-runs of Dante's Cove. The location is utterly gorgeous and the melancholy mood suits the lyrics perfectly. My favourite scenes are when Toy pokes her head into the cubby house at approximately 2:05 minutes and the fierce headshake at 3:35 minutes. Somebody make me an avatar! All in all, La Toya really outdid herself - so why am I ever so slightly disappointed?

I guess my expectations were just unrealistic. This is Toy Toy's first film clip in twenty two long years, so I thought she would really bring it. To a certain extent she has but I could have done without all the footage of that little girl playing on a swing and blowing bubbles. Toy has only released four music videos in her 30 year career - I wanted the focus to be on her. I'm also not sure I can handle the Dutchess of Dance's classy new image. Where is the shamelessness? Where is the desperation? Where is her sailor's hat? I hope La Toya doesn't instruct her Psychic Friends to curse me because I really do love the video. It just made me work a bit harder for my toygasm than usual. Anyway, lucky bitches in the US and UK can download the video from iTunes now. The rest of us will have to wait.Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Toy%20Toy
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New Kylie & A Toytastic Preview

I've been feeling so miserable today, dealing with various dramas but someone up above has obviously taken pity on me and decided to bring a little sunshine back into my life in the form of new music from Kylie and the first preview of Goddess Toy's stunning comeback "Home". I can't believe I'm being treated to new stuff from my two favourite divas in the one day. It feels like Christmas!

I guess I should start with Kylie because unlike Toy, her song hasn't been around since 2006. Most of you will probably remember that Kylie was recently hired to record music for the most expensive Bollywood movie in history and the fruits of her fabulous labour have finally hit Youtube. I can't believe how trashtastic "Chiggy Wiggy" is! The song is so much fun. I love it when Kylie gets a bit kooky on us (see her Wiggles duet for starters) and this Indian flavoured toe tapper is about as weird as it gets. The production is beautiful and I love the trashy chorus - I wanna chiggy wiggy wit choo boy! That's not even mentioning the brilliant video clip. My girl looks amazing and probably dances more in these one and a half minutes than she has in the past ten years. The outfit and dance moves are very Beyoncé but Kylie pulls it off. I love the look on her face when Akshay arrives on the big chandelier. It's the best acting she's done since "Biodome"! I can't wait to see this in full and really hope it gets a worldwide release. I honestly believe it's catchy enough to become a novelty hit.

Moving on now to the Dutchess of Dance. Toy Toy has just unveiled a preview of her "Home" video clip and it looks suitably classy. I'm slightly disappointed that she's not at least holding a framed photo of Michael but the layers of vaseline on the camera lens more than make up for it. La Toya looks absolutely phenomenal. I can't believe she's older than Madonna - Toy could honestly pass for one of her adopted Malawi babies! My favourite part of the preview is when our queen walks along holding the candle. She looks like a supermodel and her diva strut puts Miss J to shame. I just wish she didn't look so damn happy. This is supposed to be a dedication to her dead brother not "Sexual Feeling - The Sequel"! Toy works in mysterious ways, so I guess all will be revealed when the clip debuts on the 1st of September. I can hardly wait.

Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Toy%20Toy
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La Toya's Duet With Duet Andre & Other Tidbits!

It's been a while since my last La Toya update so I thought it was about time I devoted another post to world's greatest living vocalist. Since emerging from her self-imposed exile to personally hunt down Michael's killer, Toy has swiftly kicked Janet to the curb as the world's favourite remaining Jackson. The public simply can't get enough of our goddess. She's all over the gossip blogs and has been inundated with offers to appear on every US television show from Dancing With The Stars (Toy Toy just said no) to The View. The Pope of Pop accepted the latter invitation and will join the panel on the 16th and 18th of September. I just hope Whoopi can keep her hands to herself because La Toya's sexual energy is notoriously hard to resist and our girl doesn't open her front door for any old has-been!

As excited as I am about Toy Toy's publicity whoring rampage, I'm more interested in her musical comeback. Everything is going full steam ahead on that front with news that "Home" is currently storming up the iTunes (R'n'B) chart (in Germany)! If that isn't reason enough to celebrate, the sure to be iconic video debuts on the 1st of September. That's less than two weeks until La Toya officially makes Madonna, Britney and Lady GaGa redundant! I know you're thinking that Dutchess of Dance couldn't possibly have anything else up her sleeve but Australia's 4th greatest musical export, Peter Andre, recently announced that he's working on a Michael Jackson tribute with Toy! Talk about a clash of the titans! This has #47 smash written all over it! Peter mentioned the decade's most highly anticipate duet in a recent interview with TMZ (below). Fast forward to 1:40 mins to hear all the exciting details. You just know Michael shed tears of joy in heaven when he heard about this duo joining forces in his honour!

Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Toy%20Toy
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