Teen Queens - Camp 90s Girlband

It seems that I'm not the only poof who remembers the Teen Queens! A couple of people have asked after them since I uploaded one of their songs in my post on "The Dance Offensive", so I thought I should elaborate on the brief but fabulous Teen Queens phenomenon. As previously mentioned, the girls were a product of the infamous Westside Records label, which appeared to exist for the sole purpose of providing music to be played on "E Street". If that sounds derogatory, I don't mean it to be. Westside Records churned out some of the best Aus-pop of the 90s. Naturally, they released a couple of stinkers (check out Bruce Samazan's rap number!) but the overall quality and consistency of their output is nothing short of amazing.


The Teen Queens turned up on one episode of "E Street" and never left. Their music was played constantly on the show, which played a very significant role in their success. The girls scored a string of hit singles and released one relatively unsuccessful album called "Get Happy" before their bubble burst and they broke up. However, the band remains an interesting curiosity due to their unusual choice of music (they basically covered old songs from the 60s) and the fact that one of their members was a certain Kellie Hoggart, who went on to bigger things with Hi-5.


Cover versions of "Love How You Love Me" and "Be My Baby" were the Teen Queens' most successful singles. The videos give you a pretty good indication of their rather elaborate retro image. The girls look like they stepped right out of an episode of "Gidget" in the video for "Love How You Love Me", while the clip for "Be My Baby" would have Sandra Dee's knickers dripping!

I've included a relatively rare remix of "Be My Baby". The concept of an early 90s dance remix of a song imitating the style of the 1960s takes a while to get your head around, but I think it's great. I would have loved them to have recorded more upbeat numbers. I'm sure it would have helped stretch their rather narrow range and made them less of a novelty.

One of the Teen Queens most poptastic moments is their cover of "I Can't Help Myself". Their version is rather gorgeous and showcases their sweet melodies. This doesn't quite match La Toya's cover of the song but it comes fuckin' close!

I've already posted "Baby, It's You" but it's far from my favourite Teen Queens number. This one is just a bit too "nana" for me. A couple of readers have enjoyed it, so give it a try if the other songs push your dirty buttons!

Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/E%20Street
Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection

The Trashiest Compilation CD In History!

I was so excited to come across this CD in a bargain bin recently that I just had to share the joy. "The Dance Offensive" is possibly the trashiest compilation album in the history of music. The aim of the CD was to promote an anti-drugs message - via a selection of tunes by the Minogues, "E Street" cast members and a variety of other Australian one-hit wonders, no hit wonders and trash icons. Australian pop fans will no doubt start salivating or pass out in shock at this line up: Kylie, Dannii, Melissa Tkautz, Toni Pearen, The Teen Queens, Bruce Samazan, Peter Andre, Radio Freedom, The Rockmelons, Kate Ceberano and Gina G! Some of the "stars" even give their own anti-drug advice in the CD booklet. Make no mistake, this is SOLID GOLD!

"The Dance Offensive", not surprisingly given the strong "E Street" flavour, is part of the glorious Westside records catalogue. Westside records was set up in the early 1990s to produce music for the television program, "E Street", and was responsible for the debut album of Australia's queen of trash, Melissa Tkautz, the tragically fabulous Toni Pearen and the Teen Queens - to name just a few. Basically, Westside records was Australia's PWL - only with fewer hits and less talent! "The Dance Offensive" is such a flashback, I hope everyone enjoys this selection of 90s trash classics as much as I do. Given my years of devotion to her floptastic musical career, I think it's only right to start with Melissa.


Melissa's contribution to "The Dance Offensive" is one of her most random singles. "Is It" was Melissa's attempt at a more dance orientated sound and the result is a spectacularly dated effort with the world's worst rent-a-rapper. Put simply, "Is It" is a masterpiece! Unfortunately, the song was released after Melissa's bubble had burst and it only limped to #39. Nevertheless, Melissa remains the most successful ex- "E Street" luminary with a #1 single ("Read My Lips") and one moderately successful album ("Fresh"). The video for "Is it" is a work of genius. Not only do you get to see the sights of Sydney, you also experience the spectacle of Melissa riding a motorbike, gay dancers and the ugliest hat ever to be worn in public!

Melissa appears to know a lot about the effects of Amphetamines...


Next up is the poor man's Melissa (who, in turn, is the destitute and homeless man's Kylie!), Toni Pearen. I have never liked Toni as much as Melissa, mostly due to her sweet and boring image. I'll take an anorexic, plastic surgery addict over the wholesome girl next-door any day! However, as the years have gone by, Toni has grown on me. I loved her tragic attempt to make it in Hollywood in the mid-90s. Toni had a column in Woman's Day to report on her "glamorous Hollywood lifestyle". Unfortunately, in the whole time she was there, Toni never scored a single role. Since returning to Australia, Toni has become the host of "Australia's Funniest Home Videos". Toni really needs to return to the studio because "Intimate" is a great album and her contribution to "The Dance Offensive", "I Want You", would probably make my top 20 releases by ex-soap stars. The video for "I Want You" is about as banal as Toni, but you should enjoy the song.

Toni should have taken her own advice when it came to acting....

Hold me back, it's plastic fantastic Melissa and Botox queen, Toni!

Melissa: "I'm the new Kylie!"
Toni: "Bitch, please."


I had completely forgotten about Bruce Samazan's spectacularly unsuccessful attempt at music. Bruce is another ex- "E Street" actor but the rest of the world would probably know him best as Mark on "Neighbours". You know, the guy who stood Kimberly Davies up at the altar when he realised he had a calling to the priesthood on his wedding day! If you think that's trashy, as Max on "E Street" he famously turned into a werewolf and later played a psychotic rapist on "Home & Away"! I have a dark confession to make; I was crazy in love with Bruce when he was on "E Street". How embarrassing! I hear that Bruce is working in real estate these days. I wonder if he ever visited Melissa when she working in her Oxford Street solarium.

I'm re-living my childhood - Mel, CJ Young, Bruce & Toni!

Back to the music, Bruce's song has to be heard to believed. I can not believe how FUCKIN' AWFUL it is. Yes people, Bruce decided to release a rap number. Forget anything I have ever said about anyone else, this is the worst song ever released by an Australian (with the obvious exception of Dullta Good-rim). In fact, "One Of A Kind" transcends bad and is kind of brilliant. It's definitely the funniest thing that I've heard in a long while.




The Teen Queens are another product of Westside records and their music appeared in every second episode of "E Street". The Teen Queens are interesting because they were one of the few successful Australian girl groups in the 1990s and their choice of material was very different. They basically covered songs from the 50s and 60s, kind of like a retro Young Divas! The Teen Queens will also be of interest for fans of Hi-5. One of the three girls is a young Kellie Hoggart. The Teen Queens had a few hits, however, I don't think this average cover of "Baby, It's You" was one of them. I might have to do a bigger post on them because they are pretty amusing.


One of the most random songs on "The Dance Offensive" is Jenni Forbes' "Dream On (Kathy's Song)". I remembered the song as soon as I heard it but I have no idea who Jenni is. I think the song was a minor hit in the early 90s because I vaguely remember seeing the clip on "Video Hits". However, Jenni is so obscure that I can't even find a picture of her on the internet. All I know is that she was an Australian singer/songwriter who released at least two songs (I have another song on a different compilation). "Dream On" is actually rather sweet, I wonder what happened to her.


Bass Culture were something like Paul Mac for the early 90s. They were a group of DJs and producers who recorded dance music with different guest singers. Unlike Paul Mac who hangs out with losers like Katie Underwood and Daniel Johns, Bass Culture did songs with the likes of Toni Pearen, Kate Ceberano and Gina G! "Love The Life" is another song I instantly remembered when I listened to "The Dance Offensive". I also recognised the voice of the guest vocalist, credited as "Geena". I did some research and "Geena" is indeed the heavenly Gina G. I guess this would have to be one of the G's first recordings. As far as early 90s dance goes, this is pretty awesome.


If anyone else loves the craptastic "E Street" cast as much as I do, I highly recommend the brilliant Eden Street website. You will find everything there is to know about "E Street" there. I hope you enjoyed this crap walk down memory lane!Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/E%20Street
Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection

Melissa Tkautz - My Trash Goddess

I can not believe Melissa's tragic new low! I was perusing the weekly rags and almost fainted when I saw this article about Ms Tkautz in "Woman's Day". Melissa is trying to drum up interest in her latest floptastic album, "The Glamorous Life", by brazenly suggesting that she is responsible for Simon Baker's Hollywood career and that she gave Marcus Graham his big break. It seems that Mel had the good fortune to fuck both of them but was sadly cast aside like a sack of old potatoes! Apparently, it took the fabulous bitch years to get over the heartbreak and devastated her to the point that she became celibate and closed herself off from the world. My favourite bit is when Melissa classily adds, "some guys thought I'd been raped!"



I can't describe how much I love Melissa right now. This is the kind of trashtastic, bottom of the barrel publicity that usually only La Toya or Dannii Minogue could pull off. The whole article is pure comedy, from the opening "Simon and Marcus left her heart and self-esteem shattered" to the caption "betrayed again". Yes, it seems that Melissa's latest boyfriend recently dumped her too. Is Mel the only person who doesn't see a pattern developing here? This is my favourite Melissa moment since she publicised her last comeback by becoming a spokeswoman for erectile dysfunction!



Bless her! Hopefully, she'll find a man who will put up with her crazy shit one of these days. In the meantime, support Mel's crumbling career and fragile grip on reality by purchasing her latest flop single "Easily Affected", which reached a lofty #82 on the Australian Singles Chart. You can order it online at Chaos. Her album has been delayed until March.
Hear more from this fabulous diva in my previous Melissa posts to be found in the November archive.




Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/E%20Street
Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection

Sharing the Melissa magic!

I devoted my last post to the joys of Australian trash diva, Melissa Tkautz. Now it's time to revel in some of her glorious tunes!


Here is a selection of music from Melissa Tkautz's last album, the floptastically fabulous "Lost & Found". If you like what you hear, you can buy the album from here. I haven't posted "Easily Affected" because it is in stores now and Melissa needs every sale she can get. Diva hair extensions and gold lame 'fuck-me' boots don't come cheap! These songs should give you a pretty good idea of Melissa's stunning talent.





One of my personal favourites is Melissa's arresting cover of Paul Oakenfold's "Southern Son". If you like trashy dance music, then this will be right up your alley!



Next up is the single that returned Melissa to pop stardom, "The Glamorous Life". Melissa promoted this song tirelessly in gay nightclubs and I was lucky enough to see Melissa turn Arq upside down with her style, beauty and unique approach to miming.



"All I Want", Melissa's follow up to "The Glamorous Life", stalled at #72 in the charts. Obviously ARIA made a mistake that week because I refuse to believe that my fellow countrymen have such poor taste. I've linked one of the millions of remixes that were commissioned for this song. Watch an amusing clip of Melissa performing the song "live" at Arq here!

If you like what you hear, please buy the CD. Lord knows what Melissa will have to do for cash if her latest comeback fails!

Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/E%20Street
Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection