Stellar > Your K-Pop Faves

I don't get to feature as much K-Pop as I'd like on this blog but then I've always gone for quality over quantity. Cough. While less discerning blogs like The Prophet and Pop Reviews Now write about has-beens like KARA and 2NE1, I keep it classy by ruminating on the brilliance of underground icons like LPG and INY. You know, fearless pioneers whose artistry and elegance will stand the test of time. It's been a bleak couple of months in the K-Pop world but an act has finally come along that not only meets but exceeds my lofty standards. Stellar is - quite simply - your new favourite girlband. These four angels have the smouldering talent of Destiny's Child and the hood credentials of Electrik Red. Throw in the exquisite pronunciation of the iconic Ping Pong lady from Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert and you are left with the future of popular music.

Stellar is comprised of Ga-young, Jeon-yul, Lee Seul and JoA. They must have impressive connections because they somehow managed to nab Eric Mun of Shinhwa to produce their stunning debut "Rocket Girl". It doesn't matter that they can't actually pronounce the title ( it sounds like locket gur) and have the vocal prowess of an unautotuned Scarlett Belle, this is an addictive triumph that blends Eurohouse elements with dub-step to create something utterly ridiculous amazing. I particularly love the chorus and riveting rap. These girls are way too edgy for Korea! Proof in point is the fact that the video (below) was banned for sexual overtones and violence. Come again? My angels simply stun bad guys with water pistols they picked up from Toys R Us between killer dance moves. I smell a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top! Stellar clearly has the competition stressed, pressed and totally obsessed.
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Introducing The Pop Girls!

With K Pop taking over the world, it's easy to forget that Korea isn't the only Asian nation churning out amazing music. We all worship at the feet of Ami Suzuki (who continues to fly the flag for Japan) and adore Hong Hong's hottest diva La Chiquitta but the Philippines is often overlooked. The home of Charice has its own burgeoning pop scene and from the tracks I've heard - P Pop is utterly defining! The genre has come under fire from rabid K Pop fans, who think it steals from their faves but those bitches need to chill the fuck out. P Pop is just finding its feet. Of course, they are going to look to their fabulous neighbours for inspiration - the same way that Australian and British pop acts look to America for guidance. Why can't we all just eat Kimchi and get along?

If you put your preconceptions aside, you might just like what you hear. Take the Pop Girls. These five beauties are the current queens of P Pop and I'm more than a little obsessed. While Korean girlbands fight against their inherent cuteness and desperately try to be edgy, the Pop Girls embrace their inner campness and sound like a cross between S Club 7 and Steps. From what I can tell without being able to read Tagalog, the Philippines' favourite band first came to fame with "Crazy Crazy", an upbeat dance anthem, before re-emerging with new members and a pure pop sound. I love their new direction. "Sige Sige Sayaw" is such a catchy song. Sure the video looks like it was filmed at Timezone in 15 minutes before the after school rush but they look adorable and I stan for their cheap choreography. Bring on their next pan-Asian smash!

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Introducing INY - Korea's Hood Girlband!

It's official - Korea is the new home of popular music. Don't worry Mexico, you'll re-claim your crown when Lorena Herrera comes out of retirement! K Pop is seriously on fire at the moment. In the past couple of days the poptastic nation has blessed us with amazing anthems from Girl's Day, LPG and now INY. That's like the Spice Girls, Sugababes and Vanilla all debuting new material in the same week! I don't know how they do it. Where do they find all these stunningly talented girls? I'm starting to think they are genetically engineered in a lab. Take INY, for example. These angels are too lovely to be true. They have it all - looks, vocal ability and a disturbing rape fetish. Think of them as the Asian t.A.T.u! Here are ten reasons why INY is your new favourite girlband:

1. Their debut single "Shake It, Shake It" is a shameless rip off massive improvement on Ciara's "Love Sex Magic".
2. INY's gimmick is their street image - basically, they are presented as hoodlums who roam the streets of Korea stealing iPods from school girls. Bitches are HARD.
3. The video for "Shake It, Shake It" is as offensive as it is fabulous.
4. Highlights include muggings, attempted rape and even a murder!
5. The lead singer's red wig is everything that Riri's wishes it could be.
6. They wouldn't be an edgy girlband without some lesbian tension, which is duly provided in the video.
7. My fave (the stunning redhead) prevents her bandmate from being gang-raped and then takes her to a karaoke bar to celebrate. As you do.
8. Unfortunately, Korean rapists are persistent and the girls are pursued through the back streets of a slum and finally captured in a scene straight out of "Old Boy".
9. Happily, they are saved when their would be rapists accidentally murder another girl by mistake. Thug life!
10. The third band member appears in the tasteful video for ONE SECOND exactly.

Watch what is surely the most gripping video of 2011 below.

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We Speak No Americano - Korean Style!

The battle for Korea's girlband crown is over. Give up, Wonder Girls. Go back to hooking, 2NE1. Your cheap rayon wigs have been snatched by LPG! Just when I thought K Pop couldn't get any better (I've been listening to "Twinkle Twinkle" on repeat for days), these five angels have raised the genre to previously unimagined heights by covering Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP's 2010 smash "We Speak No Americano". That song was pretty much the soundtrack to my European jaunt, so it has a very special place in my heart and I love what the girls have done with it. There are new lyrics, a catchy chorus and even a stunning dance routine. I can't understand a word but I'm sure it's deep and meaningful given that they've changed the title to "Angry"!

So who are these artistic giants? Well, if my research is correct, they are Korea's trashiest act since my idol Mina. It seems the band is comprised of failed beauty queens, their name is an abbreviation of Long Pretty Girls and they have a penchant for releasing novelty songs - including a misguided attempt to revive the Can Can and a winter themed flop called "The Road To Ski Hill". I love them so much it hurts! And surely Korea will now embrace these stunning divas too. "Angry" is undeniably amazing and the video (below) is extremely cute. Before you experience the wonder of LPG, I need some advice. Where can I order a copy of this masterpiece? It must be mine!

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StooShe - Britain's Hottest Girlband

2011 is turning out to be an amazing year for music. First Kim Kardashian serenaded our senses with "Jam (Turn It Up)", before Xelle and Rebecca Black took popular music to previously unimagined heights with their genre defining anthems. They say good things come in threes but they are clearly mistaken because the lovely ladies from StooShe have delivered yet another dose of musical magic with "Fuck Me". Funnily enough, that's exactly what I said after hearing this for the first time. I'm just not used to 1) England producing decent girlbands after suffering through years of Girls Aloud and 2) complete strangers getting me on such a deep, emotional level. Courtney, Alexander and Karis have chosen a subject matter close to my heart for their probing debut single - the quickie. And the girls tackle the topic with uncanny insight, telling their men to "put it in and don't be speakin' unless it's filthy filthy". Although my favourite bit is the X rated homage to En Vogue when they sing "get it up, get it in and I'll free your mind". Quality stuff! I'm not sure what to make of their fashion sense and the hot mess of a man polluting the video clip (below) but any group that mutters "don't be leavin' me no pearl necklace" in their first offering is more than alright by me. When does the album drop? I need it. Bad.

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Xelle - My New Favourite Girlband!

I love a quality girlband as much as the next gay but for every Las Supremas de Móstoles there are ten rancid shit heaps like Girls Aloud and The Saturdays. Happily, newcomers Xelle definitely fall into the former category. These lovely ladies have the voices of (fallen) angels, sex appeal to burn and an overabundance of glamour not seen since the glory days of Martha Wash and the Weather Girls. They are also a girlband with a twist. You see, one of the members has a doodle and first came to fame on Season 3 of RuPaul's amazing Drag Race. Needless to say, Mimi Imfurst is my favourite member but JC Cassis and Rony Goffer more than hold their own. Particularly, JC. Just watch this defining video of her destroying vastly improving Michael Jackson's "Man In The Mirror" in a gimp mask. Toy Toy would give her personal seal of approval! But back to Xelle. The talented divas have just unveiled their debut single and video clip. "Party Girl", written and produced by Zach Adam, is a fun pop tune in the vein of Ke$ha, Gaga and their army of imitators. It's extremely catchy and I love Mimi's rap! The video is just as fabulous. Xelle take over a subway car and leave a bunch of lucky commuters breathless with their stunning outfits and gravity defying choreography. Watch in awe as the ladies show the pretenders how it's done!

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KaraMel - My New Favourite Girlband

1 2 3 4 - get your undies on the floor!
Sorry it's been so long between posts but sometimes shit just happens. The prospect of catching up on everything was kind of overwhelming but then I saw this magnificent clip posted on Facebook (thanks, Joe!) and I just knew it would be perfect for my return. As far as I know, KaraMel could already be an internet sensation but I'm yet to see them get any blog loving. Which is astounding because "Underwear" is absolutely irresistible. If Ke$ha cloned herself and formed a girlband that spent all day listening to Daphne & Celeste's stunning back catalogue of hits for inspiration, I'm convinced they would something like this. KaraMel's debut is a bit naughty, unashamedly trashy and extremely fucking catchy. In other words - just how I like my pop! There's not a lot of information about this delicious duo but I think they hail from Canada and the girls are called Kara and Mel. Hence their classy band name. According to their bio they are also "getting ready to put out a debut album that will redefine the dance-pop genre". I can hardly wait! While we for KaraMel to reinvent popular music as we know it, check out their fabulous video. I love their bad dancing and the array of semi-naked men. Why isn't this a worldwide number one smash?


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Sirens - Pop Trash Interview

Sorry, gays. Zoë Badwi hasn't re-formed the greatest Australian girlband of the 00s. Rather, I was lucky enough to chat with England's Sirens - perhaps the most underrated pop act to emerge from the UK since Nicki French! The group has been at it since 2003 but their resume is decidedly lacking in hits. Sadly, the closest they have come to chart domination is a #49 smash in 2004 with the iconic "Baby (Off The Wall)". They spent the rest of the decade being big in Japan and working on their stunning sophomore album, which died a miserable death at home but eventually found an audience in America. Most bands would have thrown in the towel long ago but these are three persistent bitches. You see, Sirens is back yet again - this time with an electro album called "3" and a recently released anthem called "Stilettos" (see bottom of post). I asked them about their lack of hits, hot new sound and ongoing feud with Shayne Ward. Here's what they had to say:

Hey girls, I’m loving "Stilettos"! Do you realise how many drag queens have a new favourite song?
Get in!! Pleased to hear that. We see ourselves as Drag Queen-esque with our new look – can we be in the gang?

I'm sure that can be arranged! The song is a real change of pace for Sirens. What made you choose electro-pop after experimenting with hip hop beats for so many
years?
We didn’t choose it, it chose us. We had a hit in the states with
our electromix of "Club La La" and decided that was an exciting and fresh direction to go in and it was!

Is "Stilettos" reflective of your upcoming album? Who have you worked on it with?
"Stilettos" is reflective of "3" but there is still a happy helping
of urban influence on there. We worked with Red One’s protégé Eric Sanicola in NYC, DeeKay in Copenhagen and Rage (of P Diddy's "Dirty Money").

You girls look so fancy in the video! What inspired your glamorous new look?Gotham City Sirens with a mixer of Drag Queen. We were starting to feel a little drab and chav in those wife beaters and baggy jeans!

Please don’t take this the wrong way but the band hasn’t experienced the success it so richly deserves. Why do you think this is?
No offence taken!! Because no UK radio stations will play our bloody record (and we can’t afford back handers and bribes). Luckily for us, things work differently in the States or Sirens would be R.I.P.

What keeps you going when your stunning anthems crash and burn on the charts?American success, great fans, love and appreciation for the band and espresso martinis!!

One of my songs from your back catalogue is "Love Hurts". Such an amazing tune!!Why was it never on the album?
"Love Hurts" was a limited edition track for our Japanese album. We love it too, it's dope!!

I still play "Club LA LA" all the time. Looking back, is there anything you would change about the tracklist or the way it was promoted?
Thank you!!!! We love the track and love the album, we’re very proud of it all but radio stations in the UK just didn’t get it and wouldn’t play it (apart from Radio 1’s Jo Whiley) which meant we couldn’t promote it. However, the americans loved it and "Club LA LA" was our first billboard bit! Happy Days.

Ok, time to get hard hitting. Shayne Ward ruthlessly stole your brilliant anthem "Own Thing", turning it into the horrible "Tell Him". What Happened?
He’s a twat and oh no, he’s back again!! Keep your hands off "Stilettos" Wardy!! Or else!!!

Is "Smoke My Cigar" about oral sex?
Well der!!! It’s whatever you would like it to be about my dear!


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David Hasselhoff's Daughters Launch Pop Career!

The day we've all been hoping and praying for has finally arrived. David Hasselhof has generously passed the batton of pop superstardom to his vocally challenged daughters. Yes! Hayley Amber and Taylor Ann - otherwise known as Bella Vida - are wisely following in their father's footsteps by terrorising delighting Germany with their debut single before conquering the rest of the world. It's not fair. They should have started with Australia. "Turn Up The Radio" is every bit as amazing as you would expect from the fruit of David's holy loins. The RedOne on a $10 budget production rocks my world, while the cheesy lyrics ("It's a hot track - hollaback - even if ya can't sing!") and catchy chorus ensure instant cult status for this auspicious debut. Best of all is the hilarious overuse of autotune. "Turn Up The Radio" makes Cher's "Believe" sound like a grassroots country album! Make sure you check out their recent performance on RTL (below). Taylor-Ann (the brunette) does a pretty good job at keeping a straight face but Hayley (a plus sized supermodel according to her bio) appears to have no idea where she is or what she's doing. I'm in love!


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The Return Of Scarlett Belle

Australia's most tragic newest girlband is back with their second single! I featured the gruesome twosome's debut on the Pop Panel a couple of months ago and was ashamed to admit that I rather liked it. Well, "Freak Tonight" is even more perversely enjoyable than "Closure" - so I guess that makes me a very reluctant fan. How embarrassing! Seriously, these girls are all kinds of wrong. And I'm not just talking about their bad weaves and penchant for over-emoting in music videos. Their songs sound like they were stolen from the recycle bin on Keri Hilson's laptop and the whole urban vibe is about as convincing as Lady Gaga's humility at this year's VMAs. And yet, I can't help but find them amusing. It doesn't hurt that "Freak Tonight" is a cover of song I like. Released in 2009, Israel's version got some airplay in Australia but never really took off the way it should. A pity because he was rockin' that Taio Cruz sound before anyone! Happily, the girls asked him to rap on their interpretation and it just adds to the... experience. I'm told Reigan and Tamara are getting ready to film the video next week. They need to hurry up. "Freak Tonight" is already top 40 on iTunes and looks like it could be their breakthrough hit. Good luck to them.


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Russia's Outrageous New Girlband - Twinz

Last night's post about Germany's stunning Daniela Katzenberger seems to have struck a chord with the fabulous perverts, gays and perverted gays that read my blog - so I thought I'd stick with the Eurotrash theme. Only this time I'm taking it up a notch. Just when I thought I'd seen it all, a fellow trash connoisseur introduced me to Twinz. Gratuitous nudity? Check. Amazingly inane lyrics about being a gold digger? Tick. A pair of identical twins from Russia who like to fondle each others breasts? Uh huh. You probably think I'm joking but Twinz pick up where t.A.T.u. left off and proceed to cross all sorts of boundaries. The incest-tastic duo caused quite a stir at home and I really feel their next port of call should be Australia. Let's face it, if Scarlett Belle can scrape into the top 50 - then these fabulous bitches would kill the game! Or perhaps they could try the UK. Now that Girls Aloud are officially over, the British public is crying out for a girlband with real talent. "Diamonds" probably isn't going to scoop the pool at next year's Grammys but it is thoroughly enjoyable in a completely tragic kind of way and who actually gives a shit about the music when the video (below) is this stunning? Brace yourself for the Twinz experience. Don't say I didn't warn you!


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The Return Of Europe's 2nd Best Girlband!

Some of you might remember Jameerah from my 'Best Singles of 2009' countdown. I absolutely fell in love with them and ranked their debut "All Eyes On Me" the 78th best pop song of last year. As the world's first pan-European girlband - comprised of glamour models from Belgium, Germany and Holland - you would think that world domination was a forgone conclusion. Unfortunately, the track flopped worse than Kelly Llorenna's last dozen singles put together. It could have something to do with their complete and utter lack of talent but that never stopped Girls Aloud. Happily, the ladies are still planning to release that stunning anthem in America later this year but they're already gearing up for the release of the follow up in Belgium. I thought "All Eyes On Me" would be impossible to top but "Stickup" takes things to the next level. This is an all out pop trash explosion! There's a freakishly catchy (and completely non-sensical) chorus, amazing imitation RedOne production and some of the worst/best lyrics ever recorded. I particularly love rhyming "info" with "nympho"! And the video (below) has to be seen to be believed. Jameerah's breathtaking inability to perform even the most straightforward choreography is admirably showcased - that is when they're not molesting an incredibly hot male model or rolling around in their underwear. If these stunners keep this up they could overtake Las Supremas de Móstoles as my favourite European girlband. An album please!


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Sour 7 - Disappreciation Thread

Mutya gives her verdict on "Sweet 7"
It's a sad day for pop music when the new Sugababes' album is only twice as good as the last Girls Aloud offering. Once upon a time you could bank on The Babes making their rivals look even more tragic than usual. While the racist and her talentless friends churned out the same old shit year after year, Keisha & co continued to mix up their sound and brought some much needed class and dignity to the charts - regardless of the seemingly endless line up changes. The ship really should have sunk with Mutya's departure but the group somehow managed to survive without the realest girl in pop. "Catfights and Spotlights" was disappointing but eventually grew on me and I thought "Get Sexy" was a good omen for their 7th album. The ladies seemed back on track until Keisha was shown the door and it became blindingly obvious that she was the glue keeping the group together all these years. As far as I'm concerned the Sugababes officially died when Jade Ewen signed on. I could deal with horsey Heidi and crazy Amelle as replacements but a floptastic Eurovision failure with the charisma of a burst colostomy bag? Was Mel Blatt too busy?

Despite my disillusion with the brand, I was still genuinely excited about "Sweet 7". The line up of producers is mouth watering. RedOne, Stargate, Fernando Garibay and Toby Gad have created some of the best songs of all time. The Sugababes might be a complete farce but it's impossible to get the music wrong with all these heavyweights, right? Apparently not. I'm a huge fan of American pop but this album represents everything wrong with it - recycled beats, generic lyrics and soulless mid-tempo ballads. There is an obvious hierachy when it comes to working with the A List and the Sugababes got Beyoncé and Rihanna's hand me downs. Hell, I think they got the shit Jordin Sparks rejected! It's easy to point the finger at the producers or the record company for ruthlessly pursuing the US market but other British acts have effortlessly jumped on board the American pop bandwagon (see my recent posts on Livvi Franc and Tania Foster for starters), so the blame has to lie with Heidi, Amelle and Jade. They simply simply don't click as a group and are completely out of touch with their fanbase. The girls need to change their name or pull the plug. "Sweet 7" is the final nail in the Sugababes' rotting coffin.

I'm not going to give the album a proper track by track review because I find it too depressing. However, here is my cheat sheet to "Sweet 7":

Get Sexy

A decent lead single that sounds infinitely better when you're off your face in a club. The song will always hold a special place in my heart due to the band's surprise appearance on Pop Trash Addicts to promote it. Their hints on getting sexy (below) have been a constant source of amusement to me.

Wear My Kiss

"Wear My Kiss" is the best track on the album by a very wide margin. Fernando Garibay has been on a tear recently - delivering killer tracks for Lady GaGa and Whitney - and he continues to impress. I have a feeling this is going to be a massive flop but it's the only song on the album that Version 2.0 would have touched with a ten foot pole. Make sure you download the glorious WAWA remix from iTunes. It's one of my favourite tunes of 2010. Brilliant.

About A Girl

Keisha's version > Jade's version. But they're both RedOne on autopilot.

Wait For You

This doesn't quite scale the same heights as "Wear My Kiss" but it's a decent slice of uptempo dance-pop with a surprisingly cute chorus. It just sounds suspiciously similar to Lady GaGa's vastly superior "No Way" - a song Fernando previously submitted for "The Fame Monster".

Thank You For The Heartbreak

The Sugababes go electro with a little help from Stargate. Sounds amazing? It isn't.

Miss Everything (Featuring Sean Kingston)

A three and a half minute lesson in how to be a gold digging skank. Siobhán is lying in the foetal position somewhere clutching her copy of The Female Eunuch begging Jesus for forgiveness.

She's A Mess

This unveiled attack on Mutya is completely unnecessary. It's not her fault "she's sweating bullets" and "her heels are broke". You try dragging those butt implants around the club! Mut Mut will have her revenge!

Give It To Me Now

The clown behind Cheryl Cole's "Parachute" was responsible for this mess. Enough said.

Crash & Burn

OK, I like this. Toby Gad's ballads have a way of sucking me in - particularly Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry" and Bey's "If I Were A Boy". "Crash & Burn" isn't in the same league as those stunning anthems but it is lovely and one of the few songs on "Sweet 7" that showcases the fact that these women can actually sing. Unlike Girls Aloud.

No More You

Stargate's ability to recycle beats should be acknowledged by the Guinness Book Of World Records. I swear I've heard this song 500 times before and I'm pretty sure that almost all of them have been just as shit.

Sweet & Amazing

When I saw the title I expected a much deserved tribute to Keisha but it's just another mid-tempo ballad - albeit an unexpectedly cute one. This is worth a listen.

Little Miss Perfect

Trite, lame and embarrassing. A fitting conclusion to a diabolical album.

RATING: 3/10


R.I.P Sugababes - thanks for the memories!
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Death Of The Sugababes?

In what is surely the final death knell for England's greatest ever girlband (after Vanilla), Amelle has apparently quit the Sugababes to pursue a solo career. According to media reports Z grade urban diva Jade Ewen has been roped in as a replacement but I really think it's time to pull the plug. The girls never really got over the departure of the realest girl in pop (speaking of Mutya, she's in the news again herself after unveiling new breast and butt implants!) and another line-up change would be disastrous - particularly with their latest studio album "Sweet 7" already in the can and waiting for release. Are they really going to go back and re-record the whole thing? I'm sure Amelle has her reasons (ie. she's a money hungry fame whore) but I think it's quite low to pull a stunt like this with a new album on the way. Sure, she recently scored a #1 hit but so did Mel C and she can't give her CDs away for free outside of lesbian nightclubs. The person I feel the sorriest for in this whole debacle is Keisha. That poor bitch has been the backbone of the group since 1998 and now has to deal with yet another ungrateful slut slapping her in the face. I think she should call Mutya and release a stunning duet about well hung women overcoming adversity. Take take Amelle! In the meantime, let's pay tribute to possibly the last incarnation of the Sugababes by re-watching their Pop Trash Addicts interview. RIP.

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The Sugababes Do Pop Trash Addicts!

A couple of weeks ago a bunch of bloggers were asked to submit a question to the Sugababes, which they would then address in a video. I never thought they would answer my insightful query ("Is Mutya the realest girl in pop?") and as it turns out, they didn't. They did, however, respond to my plea for tips on getting sexy! I've been getting a lot of less than subtle hints lately ("you should grow your hair, then we can style it" and "that cardigan has to go"), so I thought I would turn to the sexperts for help. And the Babes came through! I swear Keisha needs her own talk show. She rambles on about being confident despite your bodyshape (did someone send her my high school photos?) and suggests buying a nice perfume. Oprah has nothing on this diva! Amelle then talks about dressing down and getting your hair done, while Heidi preaches healthy living. It's all completely riveting and absolutely adorable but my favourite part? When Amelle says "you're watching Pop Trash Addicts". I nearly cried!

The Sugababes' amazing new single and recent Pop Panel champion "Get Sexy" is released in the UK this week. Download it now from iTunes or order the physical single from Amazon or HMV. Also, make sure you check out the Babes' fabulous response to Chart Rigger's classy question!Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Girlbands
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Girls Aloud - Officially Retire!

PRESS RELEASE

For immediate distribution

Girls Aloud officially announced their retirement today after weeks of speculation about their future. The BRIT award winners called a press conference and read the following statement: "After 7 long years together we have made the agonising decision to part ways. We're proud of achieving so much with so little and wish to thank all our amazing fans for their loyal support." When pushed for more information, (backing) vocalist Cheryl Cole wiped away her trademark tears and replied "We're like sisters. But I've outgrown them". Industry insiders suspect the decision may have been influence the dismal chart failure of their latest single "Untouchable".

The once popular group first came to public attention on the reality show "Popstars: The Rivals" in 2002, where the five members were selected from thousands of untalented applicants. While never reaching the lofty heights of the Spice Girls or the Sugababes (or even Mis-Teeq), the band went on to experience some minor chart success. Albeit only within the borders of the UK. Girls Aloud will be fondly remembered for their mastery of formulaic pop and their ability to score hits with uninspiring cover versions.

News of the split has been met with devastation and anger by fans. Sightings of effeminate males throwing themselves off buildings has risen tenfold since the announcement was made public, while the lingering sense of outrage is best exemplified by 12 year old Steve from the outskirts of Birmingham who posted the following message on the band's Myspace: "Soz but who do u slutz fink u r - tha saturdayz? lmfao!1!!"

It's not only fans that have been rocked by the news. Repercussions are being felt throughout the entire music world. Influential music website Pop Justice was immediately taken offline with founder Peter Robinson apparently unable to carry on, while Brian Higgins and the team from Xenomania were spotted popping down to their local Jobcentre between recording sessions with failed Norwegian popstar Annie.

Only time will tell what the future holds for the fivesome but some of the girls have already come forward with their immediate plans. Nicola Roberts tweeted about her upcoming appearance on Celebrity Extreme Makeover, stating "I'm a before photo if ever you've seen one." Meanwhile, former bandmate Kimberly Walsh has replaced Kerry Katona as the new face of Iceland.

More surprising is Cheryl Cole's announcement that she intends to quit X Factor at the end of the year in order to care for senile war criminals in the foothills of Argentina. Cheryl called on fans to donate generously to her new foundation "White Is Right". The other two members that no one cares about have remained silent but were photographed going directly to Mutya Buena's London bedsit from the press conference, carrying a box of cask wine and a copy of "Solo Careers For Dummies".Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Girlbands
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Perfume - Dream Fighter

It's time for some of the amazing Asian pop music I keep threatening to write about but never quite seem to get around to. Sitting at the top of my much neglected "To Do" list is Perfume - Japan's hottest girlband. These three lovely ladies hail from Hiroshima, where they experienced some local success before packing their bags and heading for Tokyo to crack the big time. After a couple of misfires, Perfume finally hit the top 10 in late 2007 and their popularity has snowballed ever since. In July last year, they took things to another level by becoming the first "techno-pop" act (I guess we'd describe it as electro-pop) to score a #1 hit in Japan with the fabulous "Love The World". As much as I love that song and I love it A LOT, the follow-up is even better.

"Dream Fighter" is a truly spectacular pop tune. Released late last year in Japan (where it peaked at #2), the track is a rambling five and a half minute epic that keeps you hooked from the first kooky beat to the last. The girls sound amazing but much of the credit has to go to Yasutaka Nakata - the man in charge of Ami Suzuki's stunning "Dolce" and "Supreme Show" albums. His production is exquisite. I love the layers of sound, the quirky sound effects and the surprising flourishes of 70s space disco. Yasutaka's ability to avoid the coldness and sterility that commonly pervades electronic pop music is startling. "Dream Fighter" is deep, lush and catchy to the point of being ridiculous. I've been walking around singing the chorus for weeks and I can't speak a word of Japanese! It's only a matter of time before a western pop star comes along and hires this guy. I just hope it's someone worthy. Like a Minogue.

Make sure you check out the "Dream Fighter" video (below). It's a great example of a really simple concept executed brilliantly. The costumes, direction and special effects are all spot on. Then there's the loopy choreography. The girls from Perfume are almost as famous for their intricate dance routines as they are for their music and this clip demonstrates why.


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Vanilla Vs Vogue

Firstly, I'd just like to say that this is my 400th post. Yay me! I can't think of a better way to celebrate this milestone than featuring what has to be Britain's worst ever girlband. And by worst, I obviously mean best. I'm talking about the glorious girls from Vanilla, who dragged popular music to a stunning new low with their legendary 1997 top 20 hit "No Way, No Way". Built around a sample of "Mah Nà Mah Nà" from The Muppet Show, Vanilla's anthem was a staggeringly awful attempt to grab a slice of the Spice Girls' pie at the height of girlband mania in the late 90s. I'm actually surprised "No Way, No Way" performed as well as it did given the quality (or lack thereof) of the song. The first time I heard it I was convinced it was a piss take. The "vocals" on this record have to be heard to be believed and the lyrics are even worse ("If you force yourself on me, things are going to get nar-sty!") That's not to mention the video clip (below), which highlights the girls' complete lack of coordination and breathtaking absence of style.


The crazy thing is "No Way, No Way" is actually a fantastic pop song in spite of itself. The sample is a stroke of genius and the god awful chorus gets under your skin like a flesh eating disease. In a nutshell, "No Way, No Way" is a cult classic that deserves some love for proving once and for all that any old whore can become a popstar. I have no idea what these legends are up to now but I like to think at least one of them is working the register at Woolworths. Speaking of British girlbands, it's interesting that the wheel has turned almost full circle after a couple of lean years and we're back to the boom days of the late 90s. The Saturdays have taken over from Girls Aloud as the current darlings of the pop scene, while bands like Red Blooded Women, Stonefoxx and City Girls wait patiently in the wings. Well, you can add another name to the growing list of up and coming UK girlbands - Vogue.

Vogue is comprised of three "stunners" from Yorkshire who describe themselves as "the new princesses of Clubland". They are currently supporting Cascada on tour so I guess it must be true. Scarily, these divine beings remind me of Vanilla. It's not their sound - the girls can actually sing and their dance beats are a world away from whatever craptastic genre "No Way, No Way" belongs to - but the similarity lies with Vogue's cheap and cheerful image (see above). They are geared to the lowest common denominator, which probably explains why I like them so much. Their upcoming single "Twilight" is an uptempo slice of dance-pop that should get Cascada fans all hot and bothered. It's scheduled for release on the 20th of April and I'd love to see it scrape into the charts. The video (below) is quite a glamorous affair and basically involves the ladies frolicking at the beach. I'd take them over Girls Aloud any day!


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Rollout With Labelle

I love my geriatric girlbands (The Jacob Sisters, Las Supremas etc), so I really couldn't resist checking out Labelle's first record in over 30 years and I was not disappointed. "Back To Now" is a great comeback album with an even greater cover. Drag queens around the globe would kill for those outfits! The highly glamorous trio invite the listener on an enjoyable trip down memory lane by delivering a solid set of soulful jams. Patti, Nona and Sarah still know how to bring the funk and they're not afraid to use it! Some critics have described the album as dated but I think timeless better describes their sound. However, the majority of songs will only be of interest to fans of old school soul (like myself) with one glaring exception - the incredibly trashtastic and utterly fabulous "Rollout".

Produced by ex-Fugee Wyclef Jean, "Rollout" is an endearing attempt to drag Labelle kicking and screaming into the 21st century. This could be the best urban pop tune ever recorded by a bunch of 60+ year old women! Patti takes the lead for this empowering tale of girl granny power and kicks her useless man to the curb by declaring "Buy your own cigarettes, walk your own pets - I'm out the door"! The production on this is superb. I love the heavy groove, occasional synth and, most of all, the way Patti screams "Lay-deez!" throughout the entire song. "Rollout" was chosen as the first single but it hasn't really taken off yet. No doubt if image wasn't important and music was simply judged on its merits, this fierce jam would be burning up the charts. It really is well worth a listen, so check it out below. You can order "Back To Now" from Chaos or simply download "Rollout" from iTunes.


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City Girls - O.M.G.

Occasionally I hear a song so wonderfully awful that it literally stops me in my tracks. City Girls' debut "O.M.G." is just one of those gems - a tune so bad it transcends the taste barrier to the point of being FABULOUS. So who are these City Girls and what makes "O.M.G." so fucking trashtastic? In response to the first question, they are a new four piece girlband aiming for a piece of the pop pie currently being munched by The Saturdays. Their sound isn't worlds apart from Red Blooded Women, Electrovamp or Stonefox but it's their lyrical genius that really makes them stand out, which basically answers the second question. "O.M.G." boasts some of the crappiest rhymes in recent memory. My personal favourite is "OMG you're stalking me, you're freaking me out. No LOL, you bother me. What's it all about?" This opus about love via Myspace deserves an Ivor Novello award. That's not to mention the overbearing production or the trashy typing sound effects at the end of the song!

According to City Girls' website, "O.M.G." was released in August but it doesn't appear to have charted at all. I guess there's no accounting for taste! Happily, the girls haven't been deterred by this minor setback. Sheena, Sian, Sophie and Rebecca are busy touring high schools and even lend their immense vocal talent to the DS Nintendo Girlband game. If the songs on their Myspace are any indication, they have some real potential. I love the clips of "Make Up Your Mind" and "Tell Me Why", while "Dancing Like Swayze" gets my trash juices flowing with the amazing chorus "You're there dancing like Swayze. I'm here dancing like Baby"! It will be interesting to see what the future holds for City Girls but at least we have the musical masterpiece that is "O.M.G." to enjoy in the meantime. Check out the amazing video clip below.

On a completely different note - I'd like to say farewell to Billiam who annnounced their split today. Yes, they were shit but I liked their rubbish songs and I wish them all the best for their next venture. "Boyz Text Girlz" will live on forever as a trash classic of the highest order.


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