Pop Panel 3 - Week 6

Pop Panel never ceases to amaze me. One week Kim Zolciak scoops the pool with a perfect score and the next a pair of critically acclaimed indie-pop darlings take the prize. At least it's never boring! I have to admit I'm kind of torn by the result. I would have loved our runner up to win. It's the second time she's almost snatched victory and I think she deserves it for having 3 great singles out this year. But then our victor is amazing and I've been playing that song on repeat for weeks. Actually, unlike the other judges, I really like most of the songs this week. Some for their so bad it's good appeal and others because they're just pretty - if not strikingly original. Oh well, you be the judge. Is this single of the week up to scratch or should the following judges get a life and get off the internet?

D'Luv (US) writer of Chart Rigger and Idolator
Mike (AUS) author of this classy blog
The Prophet (AUS) writer of The Prophet

We were also assisted by the following bloggers:

Gordon (UK) writer of the amazing Diva Incarnate. If high camp pop is your thing, then his blog is THE place to be!

and

Enric (Spain) writer of Blog petit, pero valent. He's one of my hot Spanish bitches, so you know he's defining.

and last but definitely not least we have a stunning celebrity judge!

Erika Jayne is one of the hottest dance divas on the block right now. Her first 4 singles shot to #1 on the US club chart and her new hit "One Hot Pleasure" looks set to follow suit. Erika's catchy jam perfectly straddles the pop and dance worlds. It's slick, catchy and sexy. It was also written by club King Dave Aude and my homegirl Luciana - so you know it's quality. And don't even get me started on the video (below). It contains so much fabulousness that prolonged exposure is sure to turn you gay. Despite the fact that Erika is pure sex and really turns it out. Give it a look! The song is on iTunes now. Buy it. I really hope this is her crossover hit. An Australian record label would be crazy not to jump on it. I'm so excited to have her on board!


As usual the songs are rated from lowest to highest. Here goes!

Natasha Bedingfield – Strip Me (Video)

Daniel's horse faced sister is back.

D'Luv: If Natasha spent less time working with trendy writers and producers and more time actually writing decent material like her first album, I might not have to sit here every time I hear one of her goddamn boring-ass songs and wonder why I never got to fuck her brother when he was thin and still relevant. So screw her. 1.5/5
Diva Incarnate: You've really lowered the bar with this one: the good thing about this song is that if you like it you can just buy Beyonce's "Halo" off itunes instead. -5/5
Enric: I must say that I hate her with all my heart, I hate her annoying voice, her tampon-ad songs, and her appearance on Nicki Minaj’s album. But, for the first time ever, I love her rip off of Jordin Sparks’ Battlefield. Is Ryan Tedder (producer of the track) trying to make another Halo-Already Gone thing? 5/5
Erika Jayne: Saw the video. Love the new fashion risks she’s taking. Can’t wait for the remixes! 2/5
Mike: Thanks for that charming story, Proph. I'll never be able to listen to "Unwritten" again without wanting to call the authorities. As for Natasha - she still looks like a distant relative of Phar Lap but "Halo" is my probably my favourite song of all time, so anything that rips it off this closely is ok by me. 4/5
The Prophet: I can't believe I used to love Natasha Bedingfield when I was younger. When I was an underage teenager and first moved to Sydney I made this creepy old guy who was obsessed with me buy me one of her singles. He didn't even buy me her album. He was such a freak actually, once I went to his house to play my Gamecube because I didn't have a TV yet, and he had this young teenage boy staying with him who looked like some street trash who had been kicked out of home and was sleeping with this old pervert to keep a roof over his head. I just ignored it and continued playing Resident Evil, then went home. 0/5
Total: 7.5/30

Edita – I’ve Come To Life (Video)

Winner of German X Factor’s debut single.

D'Luv: Musically, this song sounds like a knockoff of Hurts' "Wonderful Life." Vocally, it sounds like Leona Lewis getting pile-drived beneath the Brandenberg Gate, with thighs jutting out to each side like twin beacons of freedom. 1/5
Diva Incarnate: Since she's German I give this a nine! And in English I give it a 2.
Enric: A beautiful song, but it sounds so Ryan Tedder that it gets boring after the first chorus. I love seeing Sarah Connor, she perfectly fits in this blog. 3/5
Erika Jayne: Go Germany! 1/5
Mike: Back off, bitches! Edita might look like a shopgirl from Magdeburg playing dress up in an outfit Diana Ross discarded circa 1985 but she can sing and the song is lovely. I can't wait for my copy to arrive from Germany!5/5
The Prophet: Not only did Mike purposely ignored ALL my pop panel suggestions this week, but rather than use one of my epic submissions he stuck this German BITCH up instead to SPITE me because he knows I hate Germans, Germany and Mike's German heritage. This bitch is floppier than my 8 inch dildo Alejandro. ZERO! 0/5
Total: 12/30

Mariah & Patricia Carey – O Come All Ye Faithful (Video)

Mimi teams up with her mum on this Christmas carol!

D'Luv: I guess now we know where Mimi got her pipes from. And her penchant for fucking for tracks. This is so Mariah-style over the top it's getting a perfect score. 5/5
Diva Incarnate: Mariah still shrieks those tender high notes like someone's fish-hooked her vagina. Hard to tell if she is leaving a voicemail to Kanye or actually singing come-ye. Does she sing this to her 12 year old husband when he has nightmares? 2/5
Enric: Mariah (who is actually 46 months pregnant, judging by her full size) and her Opera singer-wannabe mum Patricia turn Christmas into a nightmare full of fear, screams, high notes and broken glasses. Pay special attention to the 2:03 mark and try to survive it. 2/5
Erika Jayne: Xmas is one of my favorite holidays. Mariah is the ultimate Xmas carol diva. 3/5
Mike: I feel like I've just spent 3 and a half minutes in Mimi's high kitsch rainbow coloured world where all pets wear Santa costumes and 9 inch heels are normal footwear for heavily pregnant women. It's as warm and personal as it is ridiculous and cringe-worthy. Which perfectly sums up Christmas, doesn't it? 5/5
The Prophet: I love Mariah and "I Still Believe" is one of my all time favorite songs, but nobody gives a fuck about this Christmas album or seeing her sing a duet with Mother Mimi. For this Holiday season I'm on team Auntie Susie (The Gift!) and Jessica Simpson's stunning Mariah knock-off "My Only Wish" from her festive opus "Happy Christmas" which peaked at a dizzying #123 on the Billboard Charts. 0/5
Total: 17/30

Kylie & Taio Cruz – Higher (Video)

Kylie's latest adventure is a duet with UK pop sensation Taio Cruz.

D'Luv: I hate to say it, but Kylie seems a little desperate doing this. It sounds like some anonymous dance track any studio singer from Germany could have lent vocals to, and if the 'Aphrodite' campaign needs this type of stunt to remind people that Kylie's got an album out, best just to move on. 2/5
Diva Incarnate: The most natural Kylie has looked since chilbirth. The only thing getting higher is her right eyebrow. Taio probably thought she was Lulu anyway. 3/5
Enric: Maybe I dreamed it, but I think this was meant to be on Aphrodite. Let’s hope it’s on the re-release (by the way, I wish it’s called Hermaphrodite) because it’s awesome. This is my favourite Kylie era ever. 5/5
Erika Jayne: I’ve always been a fan of Kylie – how could you not?! 3/5
Mike: I love it. Taio is on fire and this is as close to current Dannii's withered up sister has come to sounding... since "Get Outta My Way"! A shame then that Kylie is still wasting her time promoting the mega flop "Better Than Today" and a Christmas EP that no one wants when she could have a hit on her hands with this gem. 5/5
The Prophet: This gets three points for Kylie, but minus two points for Taio, leaving us with ONE. 1/5
Total: 19/30


Dyan Tai – Why Sydney? (Above)

Introducing the winner of Sydneyvision 2010 - a suburb vs suburb Australian take on Eurovision!

D'Luv: Thank God — new masturbation material. 4/5
Diva Incarnate: Sounds like a forgotten wigfield remix with that bassline. Since I love Asian lesbians I give it a 5.
Enric: I love the instrumental, sounds simple but dancey. But his voice and his extra-feminine acting, added to the cheap video and the worst clothes selection ever, makes me feel confused. I want to like it, but I can’t. 1/5
Erika Jayne: I saw his video, and love his artistic-ness with his make-up. 2/5
Mike: Fuck off, Altiyan. Australia's next music god is already here! 5/5
The Prophet: Defining! Australia's answer to Far East Movement has arrived! Dyan looks like one of those asian Twinks you see tweaking on level 1 at the Midnight Shift. 4.5/5
Total: 21.5/30

Wynter Gordon – Dirty Talk (Video)

US dance diva has an Australian hit on her hands with this sleazy tune.

D'Luv: I feel like this song has been out for at least a year, right? And didn't it have a completely different video at one point? This one's much better. Wynter's a trooper, and so I'll give her 3.5/5.
Diva Incarnate: Lukewarm trance. Not so much lyrics as reading aloud Dannii's dressing room demands. 3/5
Enric: Keri Hilson’s cheap version is still trying to top any chart. I adore one of her first songs, "Surveillance", and maybe you loved it too in 2007. "Dirty Talk" is not better, but is one of 2010 most finest tracks. 5/5
Erika Jayne: I really like this song – I can relate to the sexy lyrics. I love a dirty conversation. 4/5
Mike: My love for this gorgeous creature knows no bounds. I hope this is huge for her. She deserves it, Wyn has been on the grind since 04! 5/5
The Prophet: I've been a Wynter fan since the "Surveillance" days, but now all of a sudden that she's this new club Queen every fickle flop out there is on her clit. Wynter is MY thing and I was playing this song since the second it leaked so stay mad. 4/5
Total: 24.5/30


SINGLE OF THE WEEK
Crystal Castles – Not In Love (Video)

Features vocals of The Cure's Robert Smith.

D'Luv: I lived for The Cure when I was 13 and 14. Nice to hear that Robert Smith still has teenage boy voice all these years later, now that I'm 19. Alright, joking aside, I'm 22 and this song is a winner. 5/5
Diva Incarnate: When the pop is stark and hooky I usually cream my pants but candidly shit emo vocals rub me with more irritation than Michelle McManus's thighs. The fizzy synthesizers save it. 3/5
Enric: I know them because they messed up their performance last year in Barcelona, throwing vodka and drums to the audience. I love the ravey chorus and it’s always great to hear Robert Smith’s vocals. 4/5
Erika Jayne: I grew up listening to The Cure. I love Robert Smith! His voice is one of a kind. 4/5
Mike: A great cover a forgotten 80s gem. Sad, beautiful and haunting. 5/5
The Prophet: Finally some good music graces the FLOP panel. 5/5
Total: 26/30


Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Erika%20Jayne
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Erika Jayne + Luciana + Dave Audé = One Hot Pleasure

Holy fuck! Two of my favourite divas and dance music's hottest producer join forces to create four minutes of pop perfection. I think I just died and went to gay heaven. Where to start? Well, everyone knows I worship the ground Luciana walks on. She is the new Queen of clubs and her songwriting chops need no introduction after penning the best song on Kylie's latest album. And Dave's 65 #1 hits on the US club chart speak volumes for his status on the dance scene. So I guess that leaves Erika Jayne. The American dance diva has featured on the blog in the past but not as often as I would have liked. She has four #1 club hits to her credit and a hugely underrated album under her belt. I love her fun songs and sexy style but a crossover hit has eluded her. Until now. "One Hot Pleasure" is a radio ready smash. The razor sharp production strikes a perfect balance between dance and pop, while the catchy chorus hooks you in from the first listen. As a long time Luciana fan, it's particularly enjoyable to hear her influence all over the song - particularly the "up in here" refrain and "bang, bang, bang" hook. It reminds me of Lolene's unreleased gem "For The Record". The video (below) is also something of a triumph. Erika looks stunning and shows off some killer dance moves. I love it when she gropes the hot guy's bulge and strips off in the club. A girl after my own heart! "One Hot Pleasure" is a late contender for single of the year.


Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Erika%20Jayne
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Pop Panel - Week 12

I've been doing the Pop Panel for the past 3 months and I really should be used to the occasional dud song winning but it still annoys me when a big stinking poo pollutes my lovely blog! I guess this week's winner isn't quite that bad but there is a fine line between drawing influence from the 80s and ruthlessly ripping off the pop stars of yesteryear. If music fans keep encouraging this sort of behaviour it's only a matter of time before some shaggy haired dude tries to channel Michael Bolton. You've been warned! Anyway, now that I've finished ranting, I really should introduce the judges responsible for this harrowing decision. Today's Panel consists of:

D'Luv (US) writer of Chart Rigger
Mike (Aus) author of this classy blog.
Pablo (Spain) writer of Peibols
Paul (UK) writer of Fizzy Pop
The Prophet (AUS) writer of The Prophet

In addition to the usual hos, I've roped in the services of these two hot bitches:

Nasty G (Canada) writer of The Isle Of Deserted Pop Stars
Tommie (Sweden) writer of Donna Martin Graduates

I'm really excited to have these guys on board. "Isle" has to be one of my all time favourite blogs and my preferred hunting grounds for fabulous pop trash, while Tommie's new blog is on fire. I'm still reeling from his amazing Leila K extravaganza and the introduction to Norell, Oson & Bard rocked my world.

As usual the songs are listed from least to most popular.

Tinchy Stryder feat Amelle Berrabah - Never Leave You (Video)

Everyone's favourite Sugababe teams up with rising hip hop star Tinchy.

D'Luv: Didn't T.I. and Rihanna already do this song? And that hair? 0/5
Mike: Tinchy has to be the world's worst rapper since Mr President. Seriously, Peter Andre has more urban credibility. Teaming up with Amelle is a smart move but even that crazy bitch can't turn this turd into a diamond. 1/5
Nasty G: What? Another Taio Cruz track?! Oh no, it's apparently the scrawny midget rapper version of him. Bleh. But, though I initially resisted her, Amelle has become my fave non-Siobhan Sugababe, even if she’s playing the poor man’s Rihanna here. Pity that they had to spend the majority of the budget on her pay cheque and not the song itself. 2/5
Pablo: Well... the concept of "everyone's" is not that true. My favourite is Heidi, for sure. Amelle, as usual, is being so bitchy. Which I like. The song is acceptable for her first "almost solo" track so, it's ok for me. 4/5
Paul: It's Tinchy. And the fifth sugababe! What more could a person want? It's a bit in your face packed with attitude and that rather memorable and "fierce" chorus. What more could a person say? 4/5
The Prophet: Mutya would've done a way better job but I still love this. It's been on heavy rotation ever since it leaked for me. Whoa whoa I will never leave you! 4.5/5
Tommie: The most vile and unreal Sugashit teams up with this Flinchy guy and the results are WHORErendous! I would rather cut my ears off than ever listen to this tripe again! 0/5
Total: 15.5/35

Taio Cruz – Break Your Heart (Video)

Britain's urban pop sensation unleashes his latest track.

D'Luv: Uninventive chorus and the fact that it sounds like Akon aside, this is what a summer pop jam should sound like! I'll probably play this at least two times before deleting! 4/5
Mike: I've been a fan of Taio's catchy urban dance schtick since the brilliant "Come On Girl". I guess it doesn't hurt that he's ten kinds of sexy and films his videos on my favourite holiday island. This isn't his finest moment but I still wholeheartedly approve. 4/5
Nasty G: Sweet Jesus, how many songs is Ne-Yo going to release off of his latest album? What's that, it's not him? Well then, how many songs is Akon going… Oh, it's not him either? Who the hell is it then and why should I care? That's right - I don't. NEXT! 2/5
Pablo: Urban music is almost as boring as ballads. Really, I don't get it. And this video is so Ibiza style... Please! Aren't there any other islands in Spain? 0/5
Paul: The thing I like about Taio is that no matter how his songs turn out (ie which genre they are trying to appeal to) they end up being the rather good type of pop tune that Chris Brown used to make before he got all fisty. This is a sleek urban jam with pop sensibilities and it's proper good. 3.5/5
The Prophet: This alright I guess but I'm sick to death of urban artists doing dance music. Yes I know he has already done lots of dance tracks before but his R&B songs are so much better. This sounds like everything else on the radio at the moment. 1.5/5
Tommie: This is either RedOne by-the-numbers or someone trying to do RedOne by-the-numbers. It's decent enough considering it's Taio Cruz, but I wish it was more creative. 2.5/5
Total: 17.5/35

Little Boots – Remedy (Video)

Little Boots follows up her last flop with "Remedy".

D'Luv: I'm torn between thinking this song is a bit lazy with the verses—it's annoying when artists sing the same melody as the instrumentation—and quite fantastic, once it finally gets to the chorus. There's also something very ABBA-esque about said chorus. I dunno. 3/5
Mike: The sad thing about this pathetic excuse for a Kylie B-side is that it's probably the best thing on the boring cunt's sorry excuse for an album. It's enough to make you miss Ratshit STDvens! Well, almost. 0/5
Nasty G: Now we know what would have become of Dannii if she had kept her original nose. But I confess, I have a soft spot for this puss in Boots, however redundant she may seem. All of my gays are eating her shit up like it was their last meal, so who am I to resist? 3.5/5
Pablo: It's not only that I like the song. It's all it means to me. Riding in Parker's car totally screaming this song like crazy queers, reminds me of great moments in Elche. Also, a great video (copycat of "Slow", of course). 5/5
Paul: I'm not entirely sure why LB isn't more massive than she is but I'm very eager for this single to change that. It's lyrically a spiritual companion to the lovely "Heartbreak Make Me A Dancer" and equally as funky. Perhaps this should have been the first single but what's done is done. If you pass this by on prejudice then it's utterly your loss. 5/5
The Prophet: So this is Little Boots, is it? The girl everyone's been talking about? What a disappointment, she's so boring. 1/5
Tommie: I guess this qualifies as 'alright', but there's no energy to this one, is there? And the poor woman looks dead in some shots, Christ. I don't have the same kind of haterade against the girl like some people have, but her image needs serious re-tooling because the 'British Lady GaGa' thing is not working out for her! 2/5
Total: 19.5/35

BoA – Energetic (Video)

The Korean superstar's 3rd US single.

D'Luv: I liked the BoA song from last week better. He just sounds like a robot here. 2/5
Mike: I also prefer the sublime sleaziness of "Eat You Up" but this is still another cracking dance tune from Korea's second sexiest woman (Mina still holds that title). It's interesting that the lowest votes come from the oldest gays. Just saying! 4.5/5
Nasty G: At last, an Asian singer whose English voice I can actually enjoy and not just pretend to in order to honour the gay code which states that I must champion every international pop-tart underdog (sorry Utada, but I can finally say it - you suck!). Seriously, this is perhaps the best song off Britney’s album. It's a shame, though, that her failure so far in the US has resulted in her having to use Paula Abdul's abandoned dance routine and video set for "I’m Just Here For The Music". 4.5/5
Pablo: Oh, how interesting, another Asian girl. Aha, I see. And using a vocoder! How original! 0/5
Paul: Honestly, I went into this tune with an open mind expecting to perhaps be wowed. It's actually quite appalling. It's like a really weak Britney demo remixed by someone who wishes they were as successful as Cascada. Yes it's that bad. I can barely listen, my ears are bleeding. 0/5
The Prophet: This is one of the only good songs from her album. The majority of her other songs sound soulless and robotic, but that actually works in Energetic's favour. 4.5/5
Tommie: The Best of Asia does it again! "Energetic" is an amazing dancefloor filler that's set to burn up many select gay clubs across America! 4.5/5
Total: 20/35


Erika Jayne – Give You Everything (Above)

American dance diva unleashes her latest floorfiller.

D'Luv: Am I naive to still be shocked at how many of these dance broads are knocking off Lady GaGa's look? Oh, right—just comment on the music, D'luvvy. It's an OK track. I dunno. Can I go back to talking about her sunglasses? No? Sigh. 2/5
Mike: I feel sorry for Erika. She was ripping off Kylie and Lady GaGa well before Little Boots stole her act. This is typically catchy material from America's underground Queen of dance. 4/5
Nasty G: When I first discovered this timeworn tranny’s song "Rollercoaster", I had a new fave diva. Her whispery white raps had me at "Eat it up". Then she released another song in which she actually attempted to sing, over a beat that even Kylie must have rejected in her Deconstruction days. This one's a little better (though I prefer the original version and its video, which gives us more half-naked man-flesh and less creaky coochie). 3/5
Pablo: No, seriously, isn't this blonde the one from Cascada? Nonono, from September?
Nonononono, from Infernal? They all look and sound the same to me. At least, this one has bigger boobs! The song is danceable and catchy. Enough for a single in summer. 3.5/5
Paul: Poor Erika may have suffered from being listened to last after a number of dance songs that I really liked this week. After those, this sounds a bit generic though of course Moto Blanco can be relied on to add a bit of spice to an otherwise slightly dull number. 2.5/5
The Prophet: I have no idea why but there's something about this that makes me want to give it a high rating. This is dreadful but I cannot resist... 4/5
Tommie: Oh no! D'luv's drunken aunt just dressed up as Lady GaGa! Fabulous. 4/5
Total: 23/35

Ricki-Lee – Don't Miss You (Video)

Australian Idol alumni-come-host releases the lead single from her latest album.

D'Luv: Great. Another dumpy tramp knocking off Rachel Stevens. Wait, did she just say, "You can kiss my behind"? Sold! 4/5
Mike: As a complete Ricki-Lee stan (ie. stalker fan), I would have probably given this 4/5 for old time's sake even without listening to it but I'm very pleased to say that this is a stunning return to form after the shiteous "Wiggle It". And I will seriously cut the next bitch that disses Ricki-Lee's bootylicious body! 5/5
Nasty G: It's great to see the trampy untalented one from Liberty X has put on 50 pounds and embarked on a solo career. Only in the UK could a fat slag have a semi-successful recording career (well, the US does have Kelly Clarkson, I suppose…). Oops, I see this is an ex-Young Diva and that she's Australian. Well, same diff. And I’m happy to hear that Cher has dusted off her auto-tune to do back-up vocals. Of course I love it (as per the gay code mentioned above). 3.5/5
Pablo: I love this song! The girl is a S Club 7 girl + one Atomic Kitten + another singer mixed up. I like it. At least she is not that skinny as other pop stars. Usually I don't like songs where you can listen to different cities. It's quite obvious. But in her case, it's forgiveable. 4.75/5
Paul: Oh god. A motorbike in the video. How avant garde. Almost as avant garde as the song, where Rickie tries to be daring by saying piss you off and kiss me behind. How shocking. Shame really that she seems to be trying harder than a gaga in a muppet suit, cos the chorus is quite good, let down by middling verses. 3/5
The Prophet: Oh wow what a shock Ricki-Lee has put dance influences in her music. Yawn. This is like a Z-grade Rihanna. I'm disappointed because I really like Ricki and I own her first two albums, though I've never played them before! 2/5
Tommie: She moves her neck around a lot, doesn't she? Anyway, nice to see someone representing the plus-sized pop tart; this'll be my Valentines Day-anthem for sure! 4/5
Total: 26.25/35

Centerfold – Take Me (Video)

Dutch girlband's sleazy new anthem.

D'Luv: Geez, I guess we just don't give Dana International enough credit for opening the market up for transgendered pop "stars." 3/5
Mike: Oh no they didn't! This fabulous trash is offensive on just about level, which is probably the reason why I've been watching it on repeat all week. The video is like nasty Europorn - I keep waiting for Rocco Siffredi to appear. Wrong, yet somehow so right! 5/5
Nasty G: I recently vacayed in the Red Light District, and like any warm-blooded male passing by the ladies on display, the first thing I thought was "Wouldn’t it be awesome to make a pop group out of only the finest whores and film their video in the brothel itself?" And here we are! And a Youtube search reveals an 80's incarnation that will keep me in Gaytube heaven for months. It's electrowhore pop. What's not to love? 4/5
Pablo: The video is disturbing. Sometimes I thought it was the beginning of a porn movie. But with ugly girls. Are they girls? Even the guys in the video are ugly. I don't like this song. 1/5
Paul: Don't think anyone will judge me if I say i would let the skinhead guy in this vid manhandle me, tie me up and throw me blindfolded into his car. But the song! It's quite catchy, with a few remixes I can see this being quite big in the UK. Pity their voices are as thin as paper, but that's never stopped anyone before. 3.5/5
The Prophet: This is absolutely, positively, outrageous! 5/5
Tommie: So let's see if I get the plot of this video - they are three bondage sluts who happen to get kidnapped by this creepy rich guy but they all enjoy it, so it doesn't matter anyway? Genius! Win! 5/5
Total: 26.5/35


SINGLE OF THE WEEK



Preston – Dressed To Kill (Below)

Ex-Ordinary Boys singer's debut solo single.

D'Luv: Sounds like all of Duran Duran took turns ass-boinking Preston over a trash bin. Love it! 4/5
Mike: This boring waste of space has spent way too much time googling Simon Le Bon. However, there are worse acts to rip off. I guess. 2/5
Nasty G: Oh my, I'm yours for the biting, Count Morrissey. How could this tight little treasure ever be in a group called Ordinary Boys? Try extraordinary, yummm… Oh wait, there is an actual song here too? Well, it seems that Rockwell has kindly lent the boy his "Somebody’s Watching Me" keyboard riff. And really, the song could be absolute tripe and he'd still get top points from me. 5/5
Pablo: Great! At least one singer with his chest not waxed!! It's quite 80s, the song, the sound and the video. 4/5
Paul: Hurrah! I adore this tune. I loved Preston in Ordinary Boys. I loved Preston in Celeb BB Car Crash TV. I loved Preston the tabloid bait. And now I love vampire 80s Preston. This is a glorious tune, well sung, very catchy and so much more entertaining than a lot of the 80s inspired guff out there right now. Preston knows the pop game well and by golly he's gonna play it. 5/5
The Prophet: Wasn't this guy on Big Brother? I really like the song but the video is so pretentious, and seeing it has tainted the way I feel about the music. 3.5/5
Tommie: I've never heard of 'Ordinary Boys' before, but I get the feeling that I'd probably hate them, so this is most likely surprisingly good! I'm curious to what he'll come up with next. 3.5/5
Total: 27/35


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