There really was no shortage of shit to choose from when it came to selecting 2010's worst albums. Kings Of Leon's "Come Around Sundown", MGMT's "Congratulations" and all 147 of Tea Tea's mixtapes deserve recognition for lowering the standard of modern music but I decided to stick with mainstream pop acts for this countdown. It's a bit of an odd bunch - bad albums from acts I usually love, crap albums from crap artists and just about everything in between. I know some of these disasterpieces have been massive sellers and spawned numerous hit singles but that doesn't make them good. It just makes us gullible and record companies even more sinister than we give them credit for. As for the year's worst album - I'm sure we can all agree that pop music has finally scraped the bottom of the barrel. So what other stinkers are missing from the list? Who have I unfairly written off as gutter trash? Let me know what you think!
10. Speak Now - Taylor Swift
I really don't care if 3 million devout teenage Christians hocked their commitment rings to buy "Speak Now" for Christmas. It's a breathtakingly self-indulgent, monotonous vanity project plagued by trite Hallmark card lyrics and the inescapable fact that Taylor can't really sing. The admittedly cute and surprisingly catchy "Mine" is the standout track but it's hard to pick a 'lowlight' because all the songs sound the same to me. If pressed, I'd have to go with "Innocent" - her delusional response to Kanye. Bitch, please. The man stole your fucking microphone at a pointless awards ceremony. He didn't run over your dog or break up with you via Facebook. Get a fucking grip and move on!
9. Body Talk Parts 1 & 2 - Robyn
Robyn is so frustrating. When the Swedish eyesore gets it right, she lifts pop music to previously unimagined heights. The rest of the time I just want to slap her and ask for a refund. Her 2005 masterpiece was always going to be a hard act to follow but lowering expectations by releasing a trilogy of dodgy EPs wasn't exactly a masterstroke. "Body Talk Part 1", in particular, is a hot mess. How can you go from the sublime "Dancing On My Own" and beautiful "Cry When You Get Older" to try hard electro rubbish like "Fembot" and "Don't Fucking Tell Me What To Do"? I hoped the sequel would be an improvement but it turned out to the musical equivalent of "Sex & The City 2". Sure there are some good moments ("Love Kills" and "Hang With Me") but it's mostly just embarrassing shit tailor made for non-discerning gays. The "Body Talk" era ended on a high with the fabulous third instalment but why didn't she just spend a year getting the album ready instead of tarnishing her legacy with these glorified demos?
8. The Beginning - Black Eyed Peas
I love the Black Eyed Peas and worship at the Fergalicious alter of Stacy Ferguson but even I have to draw the line at "The Beginning". This shit sounds like it was thrown together in 2 days on Skype. The band has a knack for clever hooks and catchy samples but the laziness on display here is mind-boggling. "The Time (Dirty Bit)", for example, is shameful on so many levels but mostly for the fact that it could have been brilliant if they had treated the original with a bit more respect. And then there's my other major gripe - Fergie's suspiciously minor contribution to proceedings. Is will.i.am pressed that The Dutchess is an global phenomenon while he's been reducing to working with Cheryl Cole? Or did they just jazz up his shelved solo album to save time? Whatever. I'm unimpressed and want my money back.
7. Can't Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus
This sad flop needs to pull the plug on her pop career. Miley's attempt at reinventing herself as a dance diva was an epic fail on every level. Her voice and autotune do not mix and she lacks the attitude and sex appeal to sell the songs, which, admittedly, were pretty shit to begin with. Seriously, Lisa Scott-Lee called (reverse charges) and wants her B-sides back! I don't get it. Her Hannah Montana sidekick Emily Osment pulled together a fun pop album on the fumes of an oily rag. Yet Miley has more money than anyone and still can't buy herself a hit. Time for an album of duets with daddy, I think.
6. Sweet 7 - Sugababes
I'll let Mutya take this one:
5. Tapestry - Marcia Hines
I LOVE Marcia Hines and pretty much stan for everything she has ever released including her hysterical album/self-help book of inspirational ballads "Life" but this shit is on the nose. There's nothing wrong with the individual songs. Marcia sounds amazing as always and has been covering some of the tracks at gigs for years but the sheer audacity required to re-record one of the greatest albums of all time is staggering. Seriously, who listens to "Tapestry" and thinks Hmmm, nice but I could do it so much better!
4. The Power Of Madonna - Glee
Urgh. Madonna's music is painful enough without those sad cunts from Glee rubbing their dirty spirit fingers all over it. Kudos though to Kurt and Mercedes for making "4 Minutes" an even more hellish experience than it was to begin with. Seriously, this shit is evil.
3. Loud - Rihanna
Oh look. There's Rihanna with her stupid fucking red wig and crap songs about oral sex and bondage. Isn't she just the hippest ho in the game right now? But wait. Isn't this the same pretender, who tried to reinvent herself as a dark and edgy anti-popstar on her last album - only to pull the plug when no one bought it? Yes, Riri is a big, fat fake. There's nothing wrong with being a product but it irks me that people buy into this shit when the poor man's Shontelle is actually the biggest puppet in pop. To be fair, she is a one woman hit machine. Her label has a knack for buying her hits from the hottest producers but they should ask for a refund this time around. Apart from "Only Girl" and the Eminem-lite version of "Love The Way You Lie", this is a stinking mess. I don't care what her name is or if she's a firecracker in the bedroom. Her voice is grating and she has less charisma than a roll of toilet paper. Rihanna is, without a doubt, the most overrated pop star on the planet.
2. Wall Of Soundz - Brian McFadden
This foul expulsion of noise should come with a warning sticker. Something along the lines of 'Buying this album means you're a cunt'. Brian was shit enough when he was marketed as a Mother's Day artist but his tragic electro makeover is a crime against humanity. "Just Say So" somehow topped the charts - I think Dulta opened 5,000 iTunes accounts and downloaded multiple copies - but the rest of the singles tanked and Brian was reduced to teaming up with his repugnant wife. To no avail as it turned out. If you're gagging for a bunch of autotuned to the point of parady pop tunes sung by a fat Irish bastard wearing eye make-up, then this is the album for you!
1. Messy Little Raindrops - Cheryl Cole
Amogbokpa's ruthless tormentor dropped her heinous sophomore album in 2010, lowering the bar for popular music even further in the process. I thought "3 Words" was a musical abortion for the ages but the abusive racist from that flop girlband that no one gives a shit about somehow managed to serve up an even less appealing mix of mind numbingly boring ballads and unconvincing mid-tempo urban pop tunes. Seriously, were the producers taking the piss? Upbeat tracks like "Promise This" and "Amnesia" are stomach churningly bad enough but who really thinks balladry is Cheryl's calling? She makes Uffie sound like Maria Callas on "Raindrops", while I'm convinced she phoned in her "Happy Tears" vocal while pouring over the latest copy of KKK Weekly. Even more astounding was her decision to release "The Flood" as a single. Who was she kidding? This exercise in aural torture is a definite contender for worst song of 2010 with its migraine inducing vocal and so bad they're just hideous lyrics. Although seeing it stall at number 18 on the UK singles chart did amuse me. Now that the British public has finally woken up to Cheryl's evil ways and dismissed her as a diabolical abomination against all that is good and holy, can she just fuck off? Please?Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Racist%20From%20Girls%20Aloud Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
Choosing the year's worst videos was like picking up in a brothel. Too fucking easy. It seems that everyone dropped their bundle in 2010 and dished up pile after pile of steaming shit. I avoided choosing the videos that stank due to budget restrictions - actually most of those made my best of countdown - because there's only so much you can do with $20 and an iPhone. Instead, I focused on clips that had the resources to be so much better. I should also point out that I'm strictly talking about the visuals. I love most of these songs. In fact, many of them will feature on my best singles of 2010 countdown. But that's still no excuse for inflicting the following crimes against humanity upon us!
I really couldn't decide whether to put this in my best or worst videos of 2010 countdown. The direction and cinematography are absolutely stunning and Lady Gaga deserves props for wearing a latex nun's habit without looking like she's just escaped from an insane asylum. My problem with "Alejandro" is that it's all been done before. This video is like looking inside Madonna's brain circa 1989. There's the religious symbolism that permeated her entire "Like A Prayer" album, the industrial setting of "Express Yourself" and even the pre-historic diva's pointy bra. Hell, she even lifted the dance routine from "Vogue"! I'm sure the clip is revolutionary if you're 15 and didn't experience the real deal but it gives the rest of us a serious case of deja vu.
This clip sums up everything that's wrong with Kylie at the moment. She's completely lost touch with the people that buy - or would potentially buy - her music. You have a ridiculously catchy song about flirting with guys at the club to make your lame arse boyfriend jealous and Dannii's much older sister films a high art video wearing Gaultier couture in which she stands around on chairs like a hypnotised meerkat. I honestly believe if she had pulled on some jeans and made a fun clip that even remotely related to the song, the middle aged housewives and suburban gays that comprise the bulk of her fanbase would have come to the party. Instead she impressed ten fashionistas in Paris. Good job.
8. Skin I'm In - Static Revenger featuring Luciana (Video)
Now this pains me. I worship at the church of Luciana and can legitimately lay claim to being her number one fan. She's also a good friend of mine and I fucking LOVE this song. But there's no denying that the video is completely rancid. It's cheap, visually boring and makes a genuinely stunning woman look like a 49 year old bus driver. Then there's the small matter of Static Revenger hogging the spotlight, the ugly extras and redundant special effects. "I Like That" was literally filmed for 500 pounds by Luci's hairdresser and it stands up against anything funded by a major label. This, on the other hand, is just rank.
7. The Way You Love Me - Keri Hilson featuring Rick Ross (Video)
Any video that features cameos from Jojo, Faith Evans and Dawn as Charlie's Angels-esque special agents should be genre defining. And "The Way You Love Me" starts promisingly enough. That is until Miskeried (as she's known to Bey stans) strips off and takes pussy popping choreography to previously unimagined depths. This shit would make a gynaecologist blush. Seriously, bitch - put it the fuck away! I don't want to see your bony arse grinding away like a ten dollar hooker on Meth and I really don't want to catch an accidental glimpse of your grand canyon. Nasty!
Yet another great song undone by a disastrous clip. "Licky" was filmed at the height of Lady Gaga mania and her influence can be seen in every outfit Shontelle wears. Unfortunately, instead of making the rich man's Rihanna look cool and edgy - they have the unfortunate side effect of making her look like a man. Seriously, I've seen drag queens without make up look more feminine that Shontelle in this clip. The scene where she's strolling down the street dressed as some kind of tranny pimp could explain the number 81 chart placing of her fabulous album.
Seeing the convicted criminal from Girls Aloud impersonate Sophie Ellis-Bextor in "Promise This" was offensive enough but the mind numbingly dull "Halo"-by-the-sea video for her latest flop borders on inhumane. With nothing else to look at apart from pop music's most infamous charisma free zone, you are forced to listen to her paper thin voice and compute shiteous lyrics like "turn the lights out in the lighthouse". Ear rape has never been quite as soul destroying.
How do you blow a sure fire hit that had the internet in a frenzy from the minute it leaked? Easy. Hire the world's worst special effects team, rope in an ugly French DJ to make a completely unnecessary cameo and come up with the lamest dual personality storyline in the history of modern music complete with extras wearing gas marks. Oh and throw in some bad choreography for good measure as well as a selection of outfits that Kelly probably stole from a charity bin outside the House of Dereon.
2. Get Em Girls - Jessica Mauboy featuring Snoop Dog (Video)
Poor Jessica. She must have thought she had it made when Sony sent her over to LA to film "Get Em Girls" with Hype Williams - the man behind Bey's "Videophone" and Ke$ha's "We R Who We R". But instead of the iconic clip she was hoping for, the diva ended up with a video so bad it almost killed her career and sunk her album before it was even released. The whole thing is just so tacky, forced and unconvincing. Seeing Jess awkwardly stumble down a runway in some of the worst ensembles in fashion history is truly painful to behold and I can't decide if Snoop looks more bored or embarrassed. Happily, the success of "Saturday Night" has turned things around for Australia's new Queen of crunk but this will live on in infamy for all the wrong reasons.
1. Mistakes - Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem (below)
If nothing else this clip answers a question I've long pondered over. What happens when two gigantic cunts collide?
Just when I thought it was impossible to love Kylie more than I already do, she goes and slams that violent criminal from Girls Aloud. Australia's enduring natural beauty took the words right out of my mouth when she said "Cheryl Cole's music doesn't impress me". That's Kylie code for "fuck off, you evil cunt". Respect! My favourite bit is when she only admits to having heard "Fight For The KKK". Cheryl's international flops are clearly beneath this living legend!
In addition to preaching truth about sad pretenders, Kylie unveiled the Australian tracklist for "All The Lovers". We get a bunch of remixes and a video but where are the obligatory B-sides? Min is the Queen of bonus tracks and B-sides, so I'm kind of shocked. Hopefully the UK will get some. Anyway, this little gem will hit stores on the 25th of June. I might have to take the day off work!
1. All The Lovers 2. All The Lovers (WAWA & MMB Anthem Remix) 3. Michael Woods Remix 4. Xxxchange remix 5. All The Lovers Music Video
Last but not least, a 9 and a half minute album megamix hit the net this morning and I still have chills. On the strength of this, "Aphrodite" could well equal the poptastic brilliance of "Fever" and "Light Years". Every song gives me goosebumps. "Get Outta My Way" (already announced as the second single) is a smash, Luciana's "Cupid Boy" is the coolest Kylie has sounded in a decade, "Closer" is just too adorable, "Put Your Hands Up (If You Feel Love)" is club gold and the title track gives me the giggles in the best possible way. My favourite lyric is "I'm fierce and feel alive, I'm a golden girl, I'm Aphrodite". LOL! Give it a listen below. Bring on the 2nd of July!
Oh and why can't the stunning image at the top of the post be the album cover? She looks phenomenal!
Hande Yener is one of Turkey's biggest pop stars. The glamorous dance diva has sold millions of albums at home and racked up four #1 hits. She has also spent far too much time watching Cheryl Cole videos on YouTube. Under normal circumstances that would be an instant deal breaker but Hande's thievery is so blatant that I can't help but admire her shamelessness. Like Ami Suzuki before her, this Turkish delight has stolen borrowed an idea from a western counterpart and made it better. "Sopa-Yasak Aşk" is a catchy little synth-pop tune that's only a cheesy chorus away from Eurovision fodder. And I mean that as a compliment. I love the quirky mix of sounds and think the language sounds beautiful. Can somebody please tell me what she's singing about? It's probably something like "Hadise is a cheap slut". You can just tell Hande would cut a bitch that stood in her way! Which is probably what attracted her to a violent criminal like Cheryl Cole. Although it's hard to tell if the Turkish stunner is paying tribute to the Girls Aloud has-been or taking the piss. All I know is that the "Sopa-Yasak Aşk" video clip (below) is a virtual remake of "3 Words". And despite resembling Lady GaGa without make-up, Hande effortlessly manages to show up - excuse me while I vomit - England's sweetheart. The natural beauty's fierce attitude makes Cheryl look like a piece of wet lettuce, while her ability to actually hold a note adds to the embarrassment. A big thank you to Mert for bringing this icon to my attention. Now brace yourself for the Hande experience!
So I come home after a hard weekend night on the tiles and decide to look at the charts before passing out on the lounge to the soothing sounds of Kelly Llorenna only to be confronted by an ABOMINATION. The evil troll from Girls Aloud somehow squirmed her way into our national top 10 with "3 Words". My faith in humanity has been shaken to the core. Are people mistakenly downloading this anal wart of a song because they usually associate will.i.am with good music or did the Chk Chk Boom Girl start a grass roots campaign to launch her hero's antipodean career? I'm shocked and appalled by this travesty of taste and justice. We have talentless fame whores a plenty in Australia without needing to import them. Hell, Shakaya has more urban credibility than this skank and will.i.am put together! What's next? Jade Ewen climbing to #1 with "My Man"? Jesus take the wheel and steer us towards real talent. Like this.Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Racist%20From%20Girls%20Aloud Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
Listening to "3 Words" is only slightly more painful and humiliating than being punched in the face by a talentless media whore in a public toilet afterbeing called a "jigaboo". Seriously, urban pop music hasn't sunk to these depraved depths since Damon Dash single-handedly destroyed Victoria Beckham's music career by convincing her to go street. I can't think of anything positive to say about "3 Words" - well, apart from the fact that it probably sets a new world record for the most copious use of autotune on a single recording. The racist from Girls Aloud proves once and for all that she is a delusional idiot suffering from a stunning lack of vocal ability and charisma. Cheryl has crafted what is possibly the worst album of all time (and that includesCameron Daddo's country album) and I found the process of reviewing it to be a cruel and unusual punishment. Anyway, here are my brief thoughts on 2009's biggest turd:
3 Words (Featuring will.i.am) - 0/10
Who the fuck does this cunt think she is? Fergie? This dreary, mid-tempo urban pop duet sounds like something The Dutchess recorded when she was still on Meth and talking to washing machines. "3 Words" - a clear reference to the 'Ku Klux Klan' if ever I heard it - is utterly appalling. There's no chorus and no melody to speak of. All that's left is Cheryl's mercifully autotuned voice and some weak beats that were obviously too shit for "The E.N.D."
Parachute - 0/10
Oh lord. The world's worst singer has decided to rip off "Umbrella". I can't believe this hateful troll thinks she's in the same league as Rihanna. Where's Chris Brown when you need him to smack a bitch up? Honestly, this is just abysmal. Faux urban pop at its most derivative and dire.
Heaven (Featuring will.i.am) - 0/10
"I don't gotta die to get up to heaven. My heaven's wit choo!" Someone really needs to tell Cheryl that assaulting a black woman doesn't make her one. Bitch is from Newcastle not New York! This bland dirge is utterly pointless and more than a little embarrassing. What the hell has gotten into will.i.am? I think he's just decided to sabotage the racist's career by giving her all his worst tunes. When was this recorded? 2002?
Fight For This Love (AKA Fight For This Race) - 0/10
I've already said enough about 2009's most disturbing and appalling piece of propaganda for the White Supremacy movement. Bad lyrics, bad vocals and production recycled from Brandy circa 1997 equals putrid pop at its most empty and vile.
Rain On Me - 0/10
Seriously, I can't believe this tragic bitch ever got a record deal. Her voice is thinner than an extra sheer condom and leaves an even worse taste in your mouth. This mid-tempo misstep (produced by the usually reliable Wayne Wilkins) has absolutely nothing going for it. Even Shontelle would draw the line at this sad pile of wank.
Make Me Cry - 0/10
I'd love to see this racist bitch cry. It shouldn't be too hard. I'm sure she throws a tantrum every time Barack Obama comes on the telly and makes Ashley get extra nasty with his mobile phone before putting on "Birth Of A Nation" to calm her nerves. This is one of the few bouncy pop tunes on the album but it's completely destroyed by Cheryl's voice. It's also two minutes too long.
Happy Hour - 0/10
Is she referring to the moment this shit ends? Fantastic - more recycled urban beats and a migraine inducing sample. Who is this album's intended audience? Those tens of VB fans living in hope that her urban masterpiece will eventually leak in full? Or just deluded Girls Aloud fans who have regularly proven their willingness to buy any old shit? At least "Happy Hour" boasts some so bad they're almost amusing lyrics. "I realise some days I can be sweet and some I'm sour but I can't help but drink you up 'cause you're my happy hour" - I mean, really.
Stand Up - 0.5/10
Finally a cheap and cheerful dance number that wouldn't sound out of place on a Girls Aloud album. Co-written and produced by Taio Cruz (who is no stranger to polishing a turd), this is the album's best track but it's still sounds like an Agnes B-side. Forgettable but relatively inoffensive.
Don't Talk About This Love - 0/10
Oh hell, I'm really scared. This one note wonder is trying to sing a ballad. Jesus take the wheel and steer me clear of this crime against humanity. Computer says 'fuck no', deletes its hard drive and explodes in protest.
Boy Like You (Featuring will.i.am) - 0/10
How dare this cunt sample one of my favourite Fleetwood Mac songs? Stevie would never approve! Unfortunately that sample is the only good thing about "Boy Like You". Plodding beats pollute something that could have been remotely interesting. This sounds like an insipid attempt at mimicking the RedOne sound. I have officially lost all respect for will.i.am. This is just gross.
Heartbreaker (Featuring will.i.am) - 0/10
Oh great. It's the musical masterpiece that launched Cheryl's solo career. It was shit in 2008 and it's still shit now.
I really can't believe this is the 20th Pop Panel. I'll do something a bit special to celebrate that semi-disturbing achievement next week but I'm still buzzing about actually having a great winner for a change. My faves don't usually win but they came in first and second this week, so I think I should go and buy a lottery ticket. As for the rest of the field, well it's pretty fucking boring. Particularly the disgusting excuse for a pop star that came in last. Seriously, I'll need to disinfect Pop Trash Addicts after featuring that SKANK WHORE on my blog! Ok, rant over. The following bloggers helped me determine our 20th single of the week:
Ken's blog is treasure trove of news, information and fabulous pop reviews. I highly recommend it to everyone! As usual, the results are ranked from lowest to highest.
The biggest CUNT in pop finally releases her long threatened KKK approved debut solo single.
D'Luv: Christ. I finally have to sit down and listen to this song? Oh, wait — she's wearing vinyl leopard print. Ah, well... Not bad. Somewhere between boring and brilliant. 3/5 Ken: Oh oh, Cheryl. I've been a solid fan of Girls Aloud from the beginning but I'm surely not sure about Cheryl going solo. As I've said before, the single doesn't give anything but a generic love pop song. It's definitely not something we'd be stunned or shocked about it being so unique and fresh. The video is good but it's still very uncertain of her eligibility for solo superstardom. 3/5 Mike: How many black toilet attendants had to be beaten in order to make this utterly vile piece of trash? I'm disgusted and appalled by each and every second of this monstrosity. -5/5 Paul: Well, she may well be my least favourite Girls Aloud but I really was expecting this to be a lot better than it is. I would have begrudgingly admitted that she had done quite well and probably secretly enjoyed the song. This though, well it's just so bleh. Just putters along as Cheryl tries ever so hard to sound a bit R'n'B and gruesomely fails. The lyrics might have connected a lot better with the public if she had released it 2 years ago when Ashley was wanging his knob around town. Dull, dull, dull - although an excellent choice of comeback song (along with "Beat Again") for Chris Brown... 1.5/5 Poster Girl: There's definitely something sweet about this American-sounding pop-R&B song, right down to the music box notes that creep in to join the synths, but joined with Cheryl's voice, it comes across as pretty blandness. Of course, if Jesse McCartney released it, I'd probably be raving about it. 2/5 Rob: I love this. It's clear Cheryl has realized what she can do and more crucially what she can't. This slice of urban-lite pop will go down well today but if you listen to the No Angels new album you'll realize this might be been one of their rejects. It's nothing unique, original or special but it's sweet and isn't as offensive as it could have been. 4/5 Tommie: Ugh, where did this talentless WHORE find this track? In Madonna's "wanna-sound-like-Rihanna" reject bin? WHOREribble. "Fight For KKK" has to be the worst track ever! -5/5 Total: 3.5/35
X Factor rejects follow up their #1 hit "Beat Again".
D'Luv: Abysmal. 0.5/5 Ken: I'm actually not surprised on how this one sounds. I unconditionally love 'Beat Again' before and I have to admit, I've already been a fan of them after just one single. The outcome of the song is actually very predictable, you know, the typical 'boy band' song that they should sing. This is the epitome of what a boy band should be nowadays if they want recognition. I so want JLS to succeed and I think 'Everybody In Love' is a brilliant choice. 4/5 Mike: And I thought "Beat Again" scraped the bottom of the barrel. 0/5 Paul: Ah, for me, the real winners of last years show. "Beat Again" wasn't anything outstanding but it was slickly produced and eminently likeable. And so is this although far more generic boyband than "Beat Again" was. There's nothing wrong with this track per se and I do like it a lot, but I can't help but feel they could have done something a bit more daring. Marvin's arms in the video though?! Humina humina humina! 3.5/5 Poster Girl: "Everybody In Love" sounds like a song I'll have forgotten or be mixing up with other songs in a couple of years, but I wouldn't rush to change the radio station if it came on. Still, is it so much to ask for a boy band whose music is exciting? 3/5 Rob: Another Level anyone. Boring. 0/5 Tommie: I'm sure the teenage girls will cream their panties over this, but it's really not for me. It does remind me a bit of that 90s boyband sound though... 2/5 Total: 13/35
The lead single from the Canadian crooner's latest offering.
D'Luv: Seriously, has Sara Bareilles sued him yet? I'd still bang Michael Buble sideways, even though his chin disappears a little more with each album. 2/5 Ken: Ohh. This is a cute one. Never paid attention to Michael's new material and I actually regret it. Anyways, it's a feel-good song that resembles his former hit "Everything". I love that Michael's sticking to his material. The outcome is great but not that special or anything. I love the way it is done, very uplifting and meaningful. 3.5/5 Mike: I have a disturbing Michael Buble fixation. I hate his music but I would eat him up with a spoon and ask for seconds. There's no denying that this song is utter shit though. 1/5 Paul: Love the Boob! Although he may never top the career pinacle of appearing on Kath and Kim, this is a surprisingly radio friendly that reminds me of Boyzone circa 1999. It's very singable, very catchy and as always he looks rather delicious. I think the more that I hear this the more I am going to like it... 4/5 Poster Girl: Look, if you 100% hate that Rat Pack swing style done by modern performers, you're not going to like this, but this is looking to be the first Michael Buble song I buy - it's a pretty good attempt at creating a song which sounds like an old, oft-covered song of that style. I know I'm spending most of my time this week complaining about a lack of excitement and edge, but sometimes, just sometimes, a strong enough song is enough. No Westlife cover, though, please. 3.5/5 Rob: Ever so cheesy. This really reminds me of Neo (of Sweden) and Mika (of UK). Is this a totally a bad thing? No, not at all. 4/5 Tommie: No. Am I still on Pop Trash Addicts or am I getting more cracked out than Whitney? 0/5 Total: 18/35
D'Luv: Talk about someone who's made a little go a long way. This broad's voice and same-y piano tinkling are so mediocre, grating and forgettable, I can't believe how people still buy into Clive Davis' trumped-up hype for her. Waste of time. 0/5 Ken: Sounds like a re-work of "No One". Having said that, it's still okay not in the sense that it gets boring. I love that it sounds like a ballad and has a wonderful meaning. But honestly speaking, I think it isn't time for her to have a comeback. Maybe next year would be a great idea. The final word - JUST OKAY. 2/5 Mike: I'm a huge fan of Alicia's. She's an old school soul singer and really knows how to strike a nerve with her amazing lyrics. Unfortunately, this falls well short of "No One" but it's still soft and lovely. 4/5 Paul: I guess we know which song will be all over next years X Factor auditions then! It's actually quite a lovely little song with a great chorus. Simple as that. 4/5 Poster Girl: I know people talk about Alicia Keys as a good songwriter - and that because of that and her voice she doesn't need gimmicks or flashy production - but everything I've heard from her last album up to now has gone in one ear and out the other. I feel the beginning of pulling on my heartstrings as she sings the title line, but that's it. 1.5/5 Rob: I always sigh with Alicia Keys. Only because she's musically very shy. It's always the same old story. That doesn't take away the magic of the song. It's a brilliant track. Has the potential to be absolutely epic at times. Thing is, her first album set such a standard and I just don't think she's actually moved beyond that. She's reproducing the same record with every release. Is this a bad thing? The record sales would suggest the record company would scream "hell no". But I just become indifferent and rather numb despite the fact that she's providing great material. 4/5 Tommie: I'm not sure if I've been brainwashed with her writing Whitney's latest smash hit single, but this is quite good and I say this as someone who never cared for her past singles. 3/5 Total: 18.5/35 Mariah – I Want To Know What Love Is (Above)
Mimi covers Foreigner. Enough said.
D'Luv: Now, I thought I was gonna like this. But after a few listens, it just sounds like karaoke by an ok singer. Plus, it's flopping harder than Glitter here in the States. Mimi's problem is she can't decide if she wants to be an urban artist or an adult contemporary balladeer. You can't have it both ways, alas, in this fickle market. I think in the end, she's alienated her fans on either side of those genres by flip-flopping too much. Maybe she should just record her tits smacking together and hit the whistle register one last time. Surefire hit! 2/5 Ken: I was absolutely shocked when I heard she'll be making a cover of that classic Foreigner single. It's surprising that it's very different from the painful sounding "Obsessed" and she somehow returned to her glorious era. I love the way it sounded but not sure about it's commercial success. Maybe if she'll be singing more kinds of this one, then maybe I'll get back my interest in her. 3/5 Mike: Everyone knows I love Mariah but this stillborn cover is a giant snooze. I'm still giving her 3/5 though 'cause I'm terrified of irrate lambs! Paul: It's like she has unslutted herself now she has bagged the America's Got Talent dude. She's back to the wavy hair and doing big ballads that fit nicely along older tracks such as "Without You" and "I'll Be There". This could have been really syrupy and awful (and maybe it is but i'm not seeing it), however it comes across beautifully - love the key change! 4/5 Poster Girl: When Nick Lachey covered Take That's "Patience," my first thought was "good job on the part of the person in charge of putting holds on possible songs for Nick, but just because it sounds like a song he'd sing doesn't mean he should have released an unnecessary, inferior-to-the-original cover in an attempt to get his album campaign to take off." Ditto all that for Mariah, though at least her cover isn't as awful as his. 3/5 Rob: A nice cover. I like it. She doesn't do too much embellishment. A weird choice for a single but it's not gonna move mountains. 3.5/5 Tommie: I love Mariah but what is her record company thinking with reverting her back to early 90s? "I Want To Know What Love Is" is nice enough, but Mimi can do better than a cover these days. Really. 2.5/5 Total: 21/35
Last year's X Factor winner unveils her debut single.
D'Luv: Someone (Cowell, Simon) wants this to be an American hit bad. Still, it's pretty good. Much more tuneful that Keri Hilson, who Alexandra reminds me of a tad in the vid. 3.5/5 Ken: I have to admit, this track has made me change my idea of her debut. It started very slow for me and I eventually now like the track. Although this isn't my idea of Alexandra's massive debut, I'd say it did a pretty good job when it comes to likability. But I'm scared about her being just sexy and not having songs of substance. Although it's early to say that, let's wait for her album. 3.5/5 Mike: Alexandra has even less personality than Leona Lewis (if that's humanly possible) but someone has dug out a genuinely catchy chorus for her. Shame about the shit verses and disjointed rap interlude. 3/5 Paul: I really expected not to like it when it first came out, and then the utter shock that Simon Cowell had allowed an X Factor winner to release an uptempo first single "proper" sort of overwhelmed me a bit and I initially thought it was very good indeed. Time and sanity returned and it's actually not bad but not really brilliant. The Bimbo Jones mix which edits out Flo Rida is much better than the single mix. 3/5 Poster Girl: I think it was Popjustice that made the "Some Girls" meets "Womanizer" comparison, and it's one I agree with, with the caveat that "Bad Boys" sheds any darkness either of those songs in favor of pure fun. I'm always going to have a big weakness for this type of song, but I haven't grown tired of "Bad Boys" at all - in fact, it's one of the songs on my personal A-list at the moment. 5/5 Rob: I really didn't like this at first only because I think the song doesn't test her voice. But it's a rather catchy little ditty. Quite like it now. It's a grower. 4/5 Tommie: Well, at least it's different from Leona. But not as amazing as Leona, sadly. 1/5 Total: 23/35
D'Luv: Seriously, has Cyndi Lauper sued them yet? Probably the best Black Eyed Peas single ever, though, as with most of the singles from The E.N.D., I start off liking them until about their 8th week at #1, then I want to put a nail gun to my forehead. 3.5/5 Ken: Ugh. It's ugly in every sense compared to "Boom Boom Pow" and "I Gotta Feeling". I was expecting something groovy like "Imma Be" or "Electric City". It's totally boring and I don't get why they have been #1 in the US for 6 months. What's up with that? Do people actually still like "Boom Boom Pow" and "I Gotta Feeling" at this point? 0/5 Mike: This is one of the best pop songs of 2009 and clearly the standout track on "The E.N.D." after "I Gotta Feeling". I love the 80s-tastic beats and the romantic sentiment. Fergie has never sounded lovelier. 5/5 Paul: Ugh. So, so, so bored of them. I didn't particularly love their current US number one song so I'm baffled by it's longevity. This will probably be the song to knock it off the top. "Girl I travelled round the world and even sailed the seven seas"! Which greeting card did they steal that from?! 2/5 Poster Girl: Fergie's '80s-tastic chorus carries the song, but it's so good that who cares? 4/5 Rob: Amazing. Usually I would love for the boys in the band to take a total backseat and just produce the records. Let Fergie take the spotlight. But this one of their rarer singles in which the collective actually works to boost the quality of the song. Here they sound like a group. I love it. 4.5/5 Tommie: If anyone haven't gotten the memo yet - the Black Eyed Peas are on fire. Listen to it three times and try to resist it. 4/5 Total: 23/35
The 3rd official lead single from Whitney's much hyped comeback album.
D'Luv: I've said before this song is ok, and my opinion hasn't really changed much. I'm more interested in trying to figure out if Whixxxey's had anything more done to her face than botox. Something's not right there. Can't quite put my finger on it, though. 3/5 Ken: I've been actually apathetic about Miss Whitney's comeback. It's the first song I've heard from her new album and I'm actually liking it. It's actually catchy and very contemporary, I just hope she gets the right praise for this because she kind of deserves a nice comeback and 'Million Dollar Bill' is a good answer to those people questioning her abilities of pulling it off. Kudos Whitney! 4/5 Mike: Alicia Keys writes new lyrics to an old Loleatta Holloway disco classic and the result is Whitney's best single in a decade. I love the production, the lyrics and Nippy's swagger. Sublime. 5/5 Paul: Love this. Love it, love it, love it. Yes Alicia may not have done as much of the writing as she claims, but it's a glorious upbeat tune that is both elegant and understated. Great chorus that fits well into the Whitney dance canon and the freemasons mix is just heaven on a stick. 4/5 Poster Girl: Not classic Whitney, but a respectable comeback song. 2.5/5 Rob: Wow, very retro. Love it! Very Randy Crawford. 4/5 Tommie: What? An upbeat track by a 40 plus woman that doesn't sound utterly desperate to be hip? Classic Whitney and genius sample. 5/5 Total: 27.5/35
Girls Aloud officially announced their retirement today after weeks of speculation about their future. The BRIT award winners called a press conference and read the following statement: "After 7 long years together we have made the agonising decision to part ways. We're proud of achieving so much with so little and wish to thank all our amazing fans for their loyal support." When pushed for more information, (backing) vocalist Cheryl Cole wiped away her trademark tears and replied "We're like sisters. But I've outgrown them". Industry insiders suspect the decision may have been influence the dismal chart failure of their latest single "Untouchable".
The once popular group first came to public attention on the reality show "Popstars: The Rivals" in 2002, where the five members were selected from thousands of untalented applicants. While never reaching the lofty heights of the Spice Girls or the Sugababes (or even Mis-Teeq), the band went on to experience some minor chart success. Albeit only within the borders of the UK. Girls Aloud will be fondly remembered for their mastery of formulaic pop and their ability to score hits with uninspiring cover versions.
News of the split has been met with devastation and anger by fans. Sightings of effeminate males throwing themselves off buildings has risen tenfold since the announcement was made public, while the lingering sense of outrage is best exemplified by 12 year old Steve from the outskirts of Birmingham who posted the following message on the band's Myspace: "Soz but who do u slutz fink u r - tha saturdayz? lmfao!1!!"
It's not only fans that have been rocked by the news. Repercussions are being felt throughout the entire music world. Influential music website Pop Justice was immediately taken offline with founder Peter Robinson apparently unable to carry on, while Brian Higgins and the team from Xenomania were spotted popping down to their local Jobcentre between recording sessions with failed Norwegian popstar Annie.
Only time will tell what the future holds for the fivesome but some of the girls have already come forward with their immediate plans. Nicola Roberts tweeted about her upcoming appearance on Celebrity Extreme Makeover, stating "I'm a before photo if ever you've seen one." Meanwhile, former bandmate Kimberly Walsh has replaced Kerry Katona as the new face of Iceland.
More surprising is Cheryl Cole's announcement that she intends to quit X Factor at the end of the year in order to care for senile war criminals in the foothills of Argentina. Cheryl called on fans to donate generously to her new foundation "White Is Right". The other two members that no one cares about have remained silent but were photographed going directly to Mutya Buena's London bedsit from the press conference, carrying a box of cask wine and a copy of "Solo Careers For Dummies".Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Racist%20From%20Girls%20Aloud Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
I've always suspected that there was something not quite right about Cheryl Cole. It's almost impossible to fathom how someone so spectacularly void of talent and charisma could become a star - let alone be deemed fit to judge the X Factor alongside pop royalty like Dannii Minogue! I can only think of one plausible explanation. Cheryl is obviously a demon sent from the fiery realms of hell to strip heavenly Dannii of her X Factor spotlight and her #1 Spanish fan. This may sound slightly outlandish but consider the irrefutable evidence:
1. Cheryl's hair gets higher every week. A clever ploy to cover her horns.
2. Dannii's former #1 Spanish fan, Pablo of Peibols fame, recently had the nerve to suggest that Cheryl was the best X Factor judge and even began spamming my inbox with scantily clad images of the Girls Aloud hussy. The world hasn't witnessed this kind of demonic possession since Linda Blair's head started spinning in "The Exorcist". At this rate it's only a matter of time before Pablo projectile vomits pea soup and pleasures himself with a crucifix!
3. The latest Girls Aloud shitfest is called "The Promise" - a blatant reference to Cheryl's pact with Satan. I rest my case.
Now that Cheryl's true identity has been unveiled, I have faith that Dannii can thwart her evil plans by putting holy water in her douche or painting over the pentagram in her dressing room. Speaking of evil forces, Saturday's episode of the X Factor was utterly diabolical. Dannii looked like she had been attacked by a straightening iron, Cheryl displayed the full extent of her mediocrity by singing completely out of tune and the contestants were all rubbish. Even lovely Ruth Lorenzo managed to disappoint, although she redeemed herself with a fabulous rendition of "Purple Rain" after finishing in the bottom two. I'll never bitch about Australian Idol ever again!
I apologise for writing back to back Dannii posts but The Daily Star has revealed lurid details of Cheryl Cole's desperate ploy to prevent Dannii winning the X Factor - by promising her sexual favours! The article, shockingly titled "My Lust For Dannii", exposes Cheryl's promise to kiss Dannii on live TV if one of her acts wins the competition:
One cheeky punter asked Cheryl: 'If you had to snog, marry or push any of your fellow judges off a cliff, which ones would you choose?"
She giggled: "Well, I'd definitely push Simon and Louis off a cliff. And I'd snog Dannii."
Cheryl then teased: "If I win X Factor with one of my acts, then I'll snog her anyway!"
I have never been so disgusted in all my life. It appears that racist Cheryl has been reading up on Lezzigate and plans to exploit Dannii's weakness for cheap looking brunettes. The Girls Aloud "singer" is obviously convinced that the prospect of lesbian action will get Dannii so hot and bothered that she sabotages the chances of her own contestants! Sadly, the despicable plan could bear fruit if Dannii's lustful reaction is any indication:
As loud wolf-whistles echoed around the TV studios, Aussie babe Dannii shrieked with delight!
There really was no shortage of shit to choose from when it came to selecting 2010's worst albums. Kings Of Leon's "Come Around Sundown", MGMT's "Congratulations" and all 147 of Tea Tea's mixtapes deserve recognition for lowering the standard of modern music but I decided to stick with mainstream pop acts for this countdown. It's a bit of an odd bunch - bad albums from acts I usually love, crap albums from crap artists and just about everything in between. I know some of these disasterpieces have been massive sellers and spawned numerous hit singles but that doesn't make them good. It just makes us gullible and record companies even more sinister than we give them credit for. As for the year's worst album - I'm sure we can all agree that pop music has finally scraped the bottom of the barrel. So what other stinkers are missing from the list? Who have I unfairly written off as gutter trash? Let me know what you think!
10. Speak Now - Taylor Swift
9. Body Talk Parts 1 & 2 - Robyn
8. The Beginning - Black Eyed Peas
7. Can't Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus
6. Sweet 7 - Sugababes
5. Tapestry - Marcia Hines
4. The Power Of Madonna - Glee
3. Loud - Rihanna
2. Wall Of Soundz - Brian McFadden
1. Messy Little Raindrops - Cheryl Cole
