Pop Panel 2010 - Week 3

The last Pop Panel was always going to be hard to top - a musical genius like Ayna only comes along once a lifetime - but I've given it my best shot. This week's line up includes two trashy girlbands, a desperate teen queen, Mexican royalty and a bunch of art rockers. Beyjesus even makes an appearance. All hail! The votes were unusually close with only two and a half points separating first from sixth place. My favourite didn't win but I'm reasonably happy with the result. The most exciting thing about this week is our fabulous celebrity guest judge but more about her in a second. First I'd better introduce the Panel. The usual hos are back:

D'Luv (US) writer of Chart Rigger and Idolator
Mike (Aus) author of this classy blog
Paul (UK) writer of Fizzy Pop
The Prophet (Aus) writer of The Prophet

And we were also joined by the following guest judges:

Hidroboy (Spain) writer of Estoy Bailando and DJ extraordinaire.

Will W (Canada) writer of Mr. Will-W.:Pop Maven and all round media whore.

And now for our celebrity guest!

Unless you're a Pop Trash newcomer, you'll be familiar with Kyrah. "Uh Oh" is my unofficial anthem and I've featured her on the site almost as often as Kylie and Luciana. It turns out she's also a very good sport. Despite being mercilessly trashed on last week's Pop Panel, Kyrah kindly accepted my invitation to turn the tables and do some judging of her own. Before we get on with that, I thought I'd ask the budding diva a couple of probing questions!

Hi Kyrah! Thanks so much for joining us this week. Now tell me, when was the last time you woke up naked and thought 'oops I'm wasted'?
I can't actually remember because I'm usually still so drunk, it's all a blur. I only get flashbacks in pieces!

Been there, done that! So, a lot of people are comparing you to Ke$ha. Is she an inspiration?
Um not an inspiration no... I do like to shower and brush my hair. I actually hadn't heard her music (besides the Flo Rida song) till after I had written my single and some of my album. People just like to compare us since we are both blonde and kind of strange. It's all in the production and that style is just hot right now. But hey she had a smash hit so I don't mind being compared!

Did you ever think you'd spend most of your debut video dancing on the toilet?
Haha! I love bathrooms there is something super sexy about them especially dirty, old ones where you know naughty things have happened.

What's next for Kyrah? Are you working on an album? Will you be doing live shows?
I am working on the album and I will be doing shows and festivals this year! Hopefully my next single will be out soon after "Uh Oh". I just need to have a few more nights out so I can be inspired LOL!

I featured "Uh Oh" (below) on last week's Pop Panel and some of the low class haters dissed you. Paul said "I feel like I've gotten herpes just listening to it", Joe called you "the poor man's Ke$ha" and D'Luv defamed your chest by saying "she doesn't even have good tits". How do you respond?
I would say that I am way classier than that, more like a rich man's Ke$ha! If you got herpes listening to it that sucks since now you won't get much action! As for the tits - at least they are real! For now anyways!


As usual the results are ranked from lowest to highest.

Josh – That Sounds Good To Me (Video)

This year's UK Eurovision entry was penned by two thirds of SAW.

D'Luv: If Mike Stock and Pete Waterman had gone for more of a Sybil "When I'm Good And Ready" vibe than this schlocky Eurovision-worthy cheese jam, it would have been more commendable. Alas, this is what we have to deal with, so let's get on with it. "That Sounds Good To Me" is better than the Sheilas, at least. And it kind of sounds less tacky with each listen. But how many people will give it enough spins (or do enough shots) for it to truly seep in? I'm guessing: nil. But for me: 3/5
Hidroboy: After 10 seconds I already hated him. It's like a bad Modern Talking demo with cheesy lyrics. And the video has been shot in a bathroom with some sequins, dumb special effects and his cousin's Webcam. 0.5/5
Kyrah: I have no words... is this the best they could do? Shame. 1/5
Mike: Great name. Shame about everything else. 0/5
Paul: Love this. I can see why people think that this is not the best representation of British pop in Eurovision because it isn't. Still the backlash is unfair - it's not like he raped a puppy. This is actually a rather charming tune and kind of gives you the insight into what One True Voice would have sounded like had they not disbanded... plus he has such lustrous locks. I want to finger them. 4/5
The Prophet: Douche alert! Is this for real? I should have fun with this and just take it with a grain of salt, but I just can't.... 0/5
Will W: There is nothing remotely heterosexual about this video or track at all. It's a reminder of why SAW might best be remembered for their contributions to music in 1988 and why it might not work again with today's evolved tastes. 1/5
Total: 9.5/35

Miley Cyrus – Can't Be Tamed (Video)

Miley's inevitable whore makeover is upon us.

D'Luv: This could grow on me if I ever get completely hammered enough. It's not as immediately catchy as "Party In The USA" or "See You Again," but I'm giving it an extra half point for that Miley lap dance video that did the rounds this week. 2.5/5
Hidroboy: To quote Zombieland: "She's only famous with her wig on". I love the "Aves Cyrus" name, because I always call her "Miley Saurus". However, the Alvin and the Chimpmunks song is horrible and those lyrics plus the Night At The Museum theme do not help. 1/5
Kyrah: Her transition from Disney princess into pop royalty could have gone very wrong but Miley somehow got it right. Cool song and fantastic video. Am I allowed to say she looks hot? How old is she? 4/5
Mike: Can't be bothered. 0/5
Paul: The verses are rather good. The whore makeover is alarmingly good. It's just the non-existant chorus that lets her down. Still I've heard a lot worse and I do have a soft spot for Miley. I am assuming her next album will be some heavy thrash metal project that reflects the real her? 2.5/5
The Prophet: Miley's cool but she's no Hilary Duff. 3/5
Will W: "Can’t Be Tamed" has amazing production from Armato, James and Shanks but it lacks a real hook and melody to achieve what Britney has already. I love Miley Cyrus. I admit it. But like everybody else, I’m confused. Is she pop, country or rock? Hurry up and figure it out. 3/5
Total: 16/35

Paulina Rubio – Algo De Ti (Video)

Everyone's favourite border girl is back!

D'Luv: You might think this is some Tijuana rent boy in drag covering a Christina Aguilera B-side, but no — it's just Paulina Rubio! And guess what? This song blows! Still, she probably has just as nice of a pussy as she did 10 years ago. 2/5
Hidroboy: It's probably the only Paulina song I've ever liked. What a friend and I call "Drama-synth". But she's dumb and posing like a whore in the video just ruins it. 3.5/5
Kyrah: Always been a fan and she looks stunning. I paid more attention to her than the song! The track is good but there is nothing special about it. Fun pop song. 3/5
Mike: It's a sad day when Lorena Herrera has a bigger budget to work with than Paulina Rubio. Seriously, did she just edit a bunch of her sex tapes together to create this visual masterpiece? The song is ok but I expect more from Mexico's favourite daughter. Time for another English language album, Pau. 3/5
Paul: It's so sultry and seductive that I kind of wanted to bed her there and then. So that's quite the accomplishment! Her voice is like a siren's call, but a siren with a naughty wink and a bit of rohypnol in her flask. 3.5/5
The Prophet: I love Paulina, she's always such a dirty prostitute! Just looking at her makes me feel like I'm going to catch some type of sexually transmitted disease. And I mean that in the good way. 4/5
Will W: I want those LED Wall Panels (2:35) and I nominate them as the official furniture pieces of The Pop Panel. They would look amazing in my living room. I'm just not a fan of Rubio's vocals nor is there anything memorable about this track. 1.5/5
Total: 20.5/35

Beyoncé – Why Don’t You Love Me? (Video)

The 9th (!!) single from "Sasha Fierce".

D'Luv: Nice to see Lady Gaga's video aesthetic has seeped into Beyonce's consciousness now that they bumped clams in "Telephone." The song is okay, but we didn't really need another single from this broad's album. Sorry, Bey. 2.5/5
Hidroboy: It starts like a prequel to Gaga’s "Telephone" and ends up being a nice Dreamgirls deleted scene. The song is quite good, considering the crap this girl usually delivers. 9 singles? I won’t buy “The Singles Collection”... that’s for sure. 3/5
Kyrah: Love love love the video. She's such a diva! I'm a huge fan but the song doesn't do it for me. 9th single... that may be milking it a bit too much! 3/5
Mike: The world's biggest star continues to elevate pop music to dizzying new heights with her sublime tunes and iconic video clips. Beyoncé is so far ahead of the game at the moment, it's almost embarrassing. 5/5
Paul: I thought only members of the Jackson clan could get away with releasing an arrogant number of singles from one album, but no Beyonce feels she is in that club too - and from an album that has been released about 5 times already! It's ok, but I'm bored of Sasha Fierce. Time to move on. 2/5
The Prophet: Even though this lying snake released this video to take attention away from Kelly Rowland's "Commander", it's still one of the best things to come off her I Am Not Fierce album. 3.5/5
Will W: This track's video looks like a pastiche of costume test shots for "Telephone". I love you Beyoncé but it's time to go away for a while. There is nothing remarkable or single-worthy about this track. You look hot and yes, I totally would if I could and I wanted to and of course you wanted to. 2/5
Total: 21/35


Millionaires – Stay The Night (above)

America's latest contribution to modern culture.

D'Luv: Lots of love for these truck stop hookers. Clueless dolls—constantly dissing Ke$ha (including ejecting the guy wearing one of the blonde pop ho's T-shirts from their party in the video), yet "Stay The Night" is almost a note-for-note copy of "TiK ToK." It's also got elements of Madonna's "Holiday." Super fun trash. 4/5
Hidroboy: It's great when your parents go out for the weekend and you invite some gay friends over to shoot a clip. I love the Ke$ha spoof and I'm ignoring the fact that the whole song is a Ke$ha rip-off. 1.5/5
Kyrah: There is pop trash and then just trash and I'm not sure which way this goes. A bit too cheesy for me. They look like rejects from The Hills. 2/5
Mike: These girls really do appeal to the lowest common denominator. Which is probably why I love them. I just wish Australia had its own skank-pop girlband. Can't someone round up a couple of Supré clad moles from Penrith? 4/5
Paul: Oh it's all jolly good slutty fun isn't it! Touch me up touch me down - that just reeks of finishing school upbringing! I can't help but like this though, they are like the Spice Girls before they came back with "Headlines". I look forward to their inaugaral debut tour, no doubt to be titled Herpes or something equally delightful. 3/5
The Prophet: I can't decide which "Holiday" rip off I prefer more - Jessica Simpson's "A Public Affair" or this. Whatever, they're both amazing. 5/5
Will W: I love this video because: 1. The Hair bow (1:31) 2. Simulated Gang Rape (1:37) 3. Boobs being thrust in my face whether I like it or not (0:10) 4. Phallic Imagery (2:30) and 4. A complex revenge plot brewing involving extortion of the rapists via photographic evidence (3:07). It's like The Accused, Gaga, Kill Bill and the life story of David Letterman. A culturally significant masterpiece which will stand the test of time. 2/5
Total: 21.5/35

Ou Est Le Swimming Pool – Dance The Way I Feel (Video)

The UK electro outfit has scored a surprise Australian hit with this anthem.

D'Luv: These guys look like this decade's Frankie Goes To Hollywood, and seem to have about as much talent. Despite that, I'd probably put it in all three of them. Oh, am I supposed to comment on the song or something? It's alright enough. 3/5
Hidroboy: It's a pity about the Miami Vice styling because at least one of them could be my husband. The song is an electro-pop anthem about expressing feelings through dancing. I just have to love it. 4/5
Kyrah: Holy 80's flashback! I like it, very nostalgic. The video is a miss though. 3/5
Mike: As Kyrah points out, the video is an embarrassment but the song is brilliant. Slick production + a killer chorus = one of 2010's hottest dance tracks. 4.5/5
Paul: I do like a chanted chorus in a song. Mika, Chumbawamba. And now these dudes. The trick is to still keep the melody in tact and not make it too shouty. And they've managed to pull that off. It's rather moreish too so perhaps their Australian success will wing it's way across to England. 3.5/5
The Prophet: The beginning of this song made me think it was amazing, but by the end I was already over it. 2/5
Will W: "Dance The Way I Feel" is good for what it is, but if this were released in the era it pays tribute to, it would not stand out. Regarding the video, there is way too much going on here and I would love to see an '80s homage video filmed actually in cassette for real authenticity. 2/5
Total: 22/35

Cassette Kids – Spin (Video)

Australia's coolest kids are finally making some inroads on the charts with this catchy jam.

D'Luv: Oh, great—more emotionally-damaged art school sophomores who sucked off the right sleazebag to get a record deal. 0/5
Hidroboy: I don't understand the Star Wars extras all over the clip and I need to see the next chapter (that cliffhanger is too much), but the song is great and has an Amazing chorus. 3/5
Kyrah: Great catchy, fun pop track. What's up with all the strange characters in the video though? I think I saw Darth Vader in there somewhere! 4/5
Mike: I used to think these guys were a massive a wank but "Spin" is a revelation, striking the perfect balance between alternative edginess and commercial pop. And that chorus is truly immense. 4.5/5
Paul: I really like this. It's catchy. It's memorable. It's cool enough that I look like I'm down with the kids after declaring my unabashed love for Josh Dubovie. Vair good indeedio. 4/5
The Prophet: Yay for Australia! 4/5
Will W: The production and music are intricately layered and I really like the vocals. Even though it's clear they didn't have the most generous budget for this video, it is done effectively and fits exactly where they are going with their music. Cassette Kids take themselves more seriously than they really need to, but well done. 3/5
Total: 22.5/35


SINGLE OF THE WEEK
Girlicious – Maniac (below)

Canada's favourite girlband unveil their latest "hit".

D'Luv: Lest anyone think this U.S. born slut troupe are Canadian, they're not—they just had to go to Canada to have a hit. (How did Japan miss out on this magic?) Anyway, "Maniac" is run-of-the-mill garbage. And didn't one of the original members quit already, after one album? Who cares. It's shit! 0.5/5
Hidroboy: I don't care that they shot the clip in a warehouse. The song is catchy and they all look drunk. Perfect. 4/5
Kyrah: These girls are super hot and can dance their asses off but they have never quite made the hit they need. This track is good but not amazing. I will definitely watch this video again though, so hot! 3/5
Mike: Why have these hot bitches been exiled to Canada while Nicole Flopzinger and her backing dancers are free to continue their reign of terror? "Maniac" isn't particularly original but it's catchy and I have a soft spot for drug runners. 4/5
Paul: So nice they still have time to make records inbetween being picked up for *alleged* cocaine possession. And thank god they do, because I was ready to hate this but actually I really like it. It's very dance and should be massive in the clubs. The middle 8 is a bit weird though so I've knocked off a point for that!! 4/5
The Prophet: I'm just going to give these desperate flops a full score in hopes that they'll win the pop panel and will get a little taste of success before their label drops them. I'm too nice for my own good sometimes. 5/5
Will W: I'm so happy to see The Pussycat Dolls are back together again! Jokes aside, Girlicious are immensely talented. I do love looking at beautiful women and tight choreography, but I still haven't quite pin-pointed what it is about them or this track that doesn't make me love them more. All the ingredients are there, but why does it still taste so bland? 2.5/5
Total: 23/35


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Pop Panel 2010 - Week 2

Last week's 'season opener' turned out to be something of a blockbuster thanks to a stampede of angry Ciara fans. I should put that skank on every Pop Panel! This week's line-up is a little different. Instead of trying to unearth a diverse bunch of soon to be released singles, I just lazily picked out 8 songs that I like and hoped for the best. In retrospect, it wasn't the smartest idea - particularly in the week that I invited two trash connoisseurs to join the Panel because one of my fucking low brow anthems actually won. I'm glad my blog never had any credibility to begin with because it sure as hell won't have any left once you've scrolled to the bottom of the page. And I wouldn't have it any other way! The following culprits are responsible for the most fabulous 'Single Of The Week' in Pop Panel history:

D'Luv (US) writer of Chart Rigger and Idolator
Mike (Aus) author of this classy blog
Paul (UK) writer of Fizzy Pop
The Prophet (Aus) writer of The Prophet

I was also lucky enough to snare the services of the following guest judges:

Joe (US) writer of the amazing Milk Carton Pop Stars

and

Tommie (Sweden) who used to update Donna Martin Graduates every blue moon but is now better known as my favourite stalker.

As usual, the results are ranked from lowest to highest. Before we get stuck into it, I'd like to congratulate the lovely Tony Tornado on his marriage to Jose Luis. Save some cake for me!

Kyrah – Uh Oh (Video)

This stunning anthem is set to conquer the UK on the 28th of June.

D'Luv: I understand that the full $7.50 it cost to record this song was likely eaten up by Kyrah's addiction to vanilla frapuccinos, but did they really have to cast the 43-year-old janitor from the local bingo hall as her love interest in the video? Not much else to say about this [insert name of any five current pop starlets] knock off. She doesn't even have good tits. 0/5
Joe: The poor man's Ke$ha has unleashed her debut single. I really, really want to like this. Really I do. But I'm finding it a little uninspiring. 2/5
Mike: You're all fired! Next week I'm stacking the Panel with a higher class of homosexual. "Uh Oh" transcends pop music to become modern day poetry. If Shakespeare were alive he'd probably be the head of Kyrah's fanclub. Sad H8TRS! 5/5
Paul: Oooh the sound of nu-skank and I like it. Like Ke$ha there's something utterly repugnant about Kyrah's music and yet that is what makes it so more-ish. She clearly has gone for that Ke$ha sound and works it well. Great chorus, I feel like I've gotten herpes just listening to it though. 3/5
The Prophet: I liked this briefly for the trash factor, but time moves fast in the world of pop and now I'm more pre-occupied in the latest Ke$ha TiK ToK rip-off "Stay The Night" by Millionaires, so this song has become redundant for me. 1/5
Tommie: Oh Kyrah. She's too pretty for this song really, even if I enjoy the over-the-top skankiness of the track. 3/5
Total: 14/30

Christina Aguilera - Not Myself Tonight (Video)

Someone is clearly still a little dirrty....

D'Luv: Don't own a single Christina Aguilera album, and wasn't really expecting much from this new single. But it's steadily grown on me over the past month. The video is a wreck the likes of which hasn't been witnessed since Khia last took three guys at once up her chipped ham ditch. But the song gets a 3/5.
Joe: I know all you CaCa queens are calling her a copycat, blah blah. Boring. She didn't invent electropop. Madonna did however invent Lady CaCa. It's a fact. I digress, this song is hot and Xtina's powerful pipes sound better than ever. The video is a trash lover's wet dream come true! The fact that this song has flopped harder than a drunk tranny in a wet alley wearing a broken heel makes me love it even more! I for one can not wait for BIONIC. Welcome back Xtina! 5/5
Mike: What Joe said! 4/5
Paul: She's clearly not herself in the video, she's every other bloody female pop singer from the past ten years. I do like the song, it's grown on me a lot over the past few weeks. It does feel a bit like it's trying to hard and not quite ticking all the right boxes. So not quite the amazing comeback single I was hoping for (it's no "Dirrty") but still quite good. A better effort next time though please. 3/5
The Prophet: Make way people, Legentina is returning! The visionary artist has been in the industry for over 10 years and is still pushing the boundaries with her edgy and provocative new single "Not Myself Tonight". Becoming a mother has made the legend more in-tune with her sexuality and her body and she's not ashamed of it, as evident in the song's jaw dropping music video. Who else would have the courage to do on-screen girl-on-girl action and say "fuck you" on their first single? Legentina already defined the past decade and she's about to do it again. Truly epic! 0.5/5
Tommie: When this first starts to play you think to yourself that it's going to be quite good - but by the time it's over, boy how wrong you were! Hook-less and seriously un-catchy. Christina girl, you should do something with Khia! You know what I'm saying? 0/5
Total: 15.5/30

Gabriella Cilmi – Hearts Don’t Lie (Video)

The second single from “Ten”.

D'Luv: You know how drag queens sometimes pick these left-of-center songs to lip sync to—the kind that when you watch the performance, you're like, "Who the hell cares about this boring trash enough to pour their fat ass into a horrid knockoff dress and humiliate themselves for the 12 bucks in tips they're gonna have shoved between their knees?" Well, Gabriella will always have that, at least. 1.5/5
Joe: I'm glad she's ditched the pseudo Amy Whinehouse sound of her debut and has given dance music a chance. I like her new single. It's kinda Scissor Sisters meet Anastacia (minus the lesbo biker shades). 3.5/5
Mike: Why is Gabi wearing an old curtain in the video? Who chose this shit as a single? "Ten" is a great pop album but "Hearts Don't Lie" has flop written all over it. Not that it's a bad song - I like the disco beats and Gabi's vocal is lovely but she has so much better to choose from. And as Tommie rightly points out - Toy Toy did it first and better way back in 1983. Here's the proof! 3/5
Paul: I hated her first album, love the second. While this isn't is camptastic as the still wildly bonkers "On A Mission", it's still a jolly good disco infused ditty that has these absolutely feral choruses where Gabriella really seems to let loose. Quite magnificent. 4/5
The Prophet: I loved Gabby's last single "On A Mission" and I love this one too. I can't believe Australia managed to spawn a female artist who is talented, beautiful and makes fantastic pop music. Well we have Dannii, but besides her nobody else comes to mind. 4/5
Tommie: My ears don't lie and there's only one girl that can Toy with my heart. 2/5
Total: 18/30

Toni Braxton – Make My Heart (Video)

90s icon takes desperation to a whole new level.

D'Luv: Ah, the latest broad returning from the brink and trying to remake "Just Dance." Don't worry—the gays will eat this up, right? Anyone? 1.5/5
Joe: This is what, her 17th single from her latest release? Does anyone even care anymore? Then again the gays do. Obviously that's why she featured drag queens, trannies, dykes and voguers galore in the gayest video of her career. She proves once again not all good singers can dance (Whitney Houston anyone?). Kudos to her for going back to short hair. Back to the song. It's a nice little number but I don't think it's anything special. I'll have to check out the remixes for further satisfaction. But Toni, let's face it. You're not 25 anymore. Hell you're not 40 anymore! 3/5
Mike: Toni has briefly emerged from Tamar's long shadow in a desperate attempt to reclaim her former glory. It's sad, unintentionally hilarious and more than a little tragic. In other words, I love it. For more accurate preview of her new album, check out the gorgeous "So Yesterday". 3.5/5
Paul: Desperation, Mike? Oh no no no. I really like this - it could have easily been on the Whitney album and been a song that she strolled off the stage to for a nice rest mid chorus! Will it be a massive comeback for her? Probably not, but some nice remixes will jazz it up a bit. It's nice to see singers like this still eeking out a living! Next Debbie Gibson and Wilson Phillips please! 3.5/5
The Prophet: I'm gonna be a lazy bitch and just quote a line from my original review of the song which was posted on my site. "Watching Toni recycle Britney’s old dance moves to a Beyonce B-side while rocking Victoria Beckham's old haircut and a see through catsuit is just so tragic that it’s… what’s the word… endearing!" 4/5
Tommie: Poor Toni. She's seriously bordering on a Nicki French budget these days. The song is nice enough, but hardly the making of a smash hit! 3/5
Total: 18.5/30


María José - Adelante Corazón (above)

The pride of Mexico releases another single from her smash hit album.

D'Luv: In honor of Cinco de Mayo, which I just celebrated at one of my favorite authentic Mexican restaurants in L.A. (it's called Taco Bell, all my fine dining brethren), I'm giving this bimbo a near-perfect score! 4.5/5
Joe: Covering one of Mexico's greatest divas of all time, Daniela Romo, is no easy feat. I give her an A for at least not going with the obvious covers that have been done to death. That said, this is nice a nice ditty from her sophmore solo effort. Though I wish she would have done more w/ her cover. What's up with the cheap video? Those panties are fierce and all but Mexico's reigning pop princess deserves a better budget! 3/5
Mike: María José can do no wrong in my book. "Adelante Corazón" doesn't quite match the once in a career brilliance of "No Soy Una Señora" but it is an outstanding ballad with an absolutely breathtaking chorus. Think Pat Benatar crossed with Gloria Estefan. Yes, it's that amazing! I also love her dramatic air grabs and general lack of clothing in the video. Now please release "Este Hombre No Se Toca" as the next single! 4.5/5
Paul: Another sparse percussive groove that goes nowhere. Actually it has a touch of the Ryan Tedder about it, which doesn't exactly fill me with joy. She has a nice voice though and I do enjoy being sung to in Spanish so I've upped her still quite low mark. 2.5/5
The Prophet: Um, this isn't Thalia! 2/5
Tommie: Sounds very sinister, doesn't it? I wish the punch of the chorus was bigger though. 3/5
Total: 19.5/30

Khia – Been A Bad Girl (Video)

The Queen of rap returns to put the pretenders in check.

D'Luv: My problem with this is that two weeks ago, when I first watched the clip, it seemed the video was a 10 while the song was a three. Sadly, not much has changed since then—well, except of course the number of guys who've slammed Khia from behind, probably. 1.5/5
Joe: The 'Queen of da South' is back and ready to take nobody's sh*t! I must admit the first time I heard this song, I kinda liked it, but now that I've seen the video...gurl I am in love! Thug Misses proves why she's the baddest bitch out there. And those neon green eyelashes are DELICIOUS! Props to her for having a budget this time. The chorus is catchy and the entire song has that Khia quality only she can bring. Ms. Chambers you can do no wrong. 5/5
Mike: I love Khia. I would lick her neck, hairy back, beat-up pussy and loose crack. And enjoy it. As such, I was ready to give rap's favourite motor mouf a perfect score but the song just doesn't do it for me. That said, it's still one thousand times better than anything Trina or Nicky Minaj has ever recorded. The Kween still reigns supreme. 4/5
Paul: First off the demented yellow eye make up is both brilliant and out of control! I love the whispering over the minimal percussion in the verses. I love the cute guy in the video. And I keep expecting it to explode into something magnificent. It doesn't, but I like it well enough anyway - it's like being impotent (I should imagine): you're grinding away, getting the pleasure feelings but the big explosion doesn't quite happen. 3/5
The Prophet: Nicki Minaj may be the femcee garnering all the spotlight at the moment, but Khia is the true Queen of Hip-Hop as she proves with 2010's biggest urban anthem "Been a Bad Girl". Not only does the song cement Khia as the greatest lyricist of our generation, but it also establishes her as a true style icon. Ciara should've called up Khia for the feature on "Ride" instead of using Ludacris again! 5/5
Tommie: The Queen of Rap returns! What else can I say? Been A Bad Girl is something to live by. 5/5
Total: 23.5/30

Sophie Ellis Bextor – Bittersweet (Video)

SEB’s new single was released in the UK last week.

D'Luv: I give this babe props for always sticking to her guns and making quirky pop. Not my favorite song from her (that would be "Love Is Here" off her last album), but still pleasant enough to wash Khia's minge out of my mouth. 3.5/5
Joe: The most glamorous woman in pop has unleashed another delicious dance track. It has that signature icy sound that I've come to love. Can she get anymore beautiful? 4/5
Mike: I've had a grudge against this bitch ever since the tragic queen in my Spanish class tried to pick me up by telling me that I look like a male Sophie Ellis-Bextor. As Liz Lemon would say - Dealbreaker! Anyway, I think "Bittersweet" is SEB's best single since "Murder On The Dancefloor". Her music is always icily beautiful but this has a yearning and darkness to it that I love. Sophie really should have won single of the week - pop music doesn't get much better. 5/5
Paul: Ah the lovely Ms Bextor. At first I was disappointed that this wasn't as glorious as "Heartbreak Make Me A DaRn-Sar", but a few listens in and it utterly spins my world into a beat driven frenzy! So sad it's not doing well on the UK charts but it's classic Sophe and a brilliant tune. Plus her husband Richard (from the Feeling) looks like a right good boff. 4/5
The Prophet: If the porcelain princess recorded herself removing a tampon I'd still think it was amazing, but "Bittersweet" is a genuinely stunning gay dance anthem so there's no need to be biased when giving it a high score. 4.5/5
Tommie: I really like Sophie, but this screams "fifth single/fan favourite that never gets released". 2.5/5
Total: 23.5/30


SINGLE OF THE WEEK

Ayna – Prisoner (below)

Seriously, words escape me.

D'Luv: I think we all know that it's impossible to comment on "Prisoner" without mentioning Ayna's stunning video. In so many ways, the train wreck clip reminds me of the 2003 cult flick The Room, which if you haven't seen, you're really not a true pop trash addict yet. Anyway, WTF are we talking about? Oh, right—Ayna. One point for the song, one for the low rent tits and three for the video. 5/5
Mike: Fags, you're stealing my act! I only choose these stunning "undergound" anthems so I can defiantly proclaim their brilliance while the rest of you tear them apart. They're not supposed to win! That said, I understand the appeal. Ayna is the most glamorous diva I've ever set eyes upon and her video clip makes "Avatar" look like a cheap home movie. Girlfriend has special effects and everything! As for the song - I genuinely love it. And have already ordered her sure to be amazing debut album "To Know Ayna" from her website. Pop music has a new icon! 5/5
Joe: OMG It's like a lost freestyle video circa 1991! Why have I never heard of this siren before? Seriously can I give it a 10? It's all kinds of cheap. Cheap video, cheap production, cheap broad (the fact that she didn't wax her upper lip makes me love her even more). According to her myspace bio she's a model and cable access television host. I think I'm in love. 5/5
Paul: Oh my stars. It's the video production values of lamented US soap Sunset Beach mixed with the musical quality of Lisa Scott Hyphen Lee. And entirely awful. 1/5
The Prophet: OMG! Iconic! Her chair dance is better than Mariah's tragic Fantasy Remix chair dance from the Around The World DVD! 4.5/5
Tommie: Oh my. I... I... I think I'm in love. Where does this woman live and when is she available to have my babies? She's perfection, like Dannii said before she went down on Jupiter! 5/5
Total: 25.5/30


Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Kyrah
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Uh Oh, Kyrah's Video Drops!

Kyrah's pop trash masterpiece "Uh Oh" has been an obsession of mine since I first featured it on the blog a little over a month ago. Since then things have really snowballed for the American pop diva. She signed a record deal, released a hot remix package and has just debuted her first video clip. I've really been looking forward to this - particularly since Kyrah described it as a nod to Madonna's "Justify My Love". Which everyone knows was the last decent thing the old hag did before descending into mediocrity. But I digress. "Uh Oh" isn't quite as artistic as that opus but it sure is amusing and perfectly captures the essence of the song. It also proves that Kyrah isn't afraid to take the piss as she proves from the very opening scene where she wakes up looking like me on a Sunday morning and then spends the next 30 seconds dancing on the toilet. Seriously, is dunny dancing a new trend? Ke$ha spends most of her "Dirty Picture" film clip on the crapper and now this. Friends, the message is clear - if you want to be cool head straight to the bathroom and start busting a move on that shiny porcelain podium. Dancefloors are so last year! The rest of "Uh Oh" is just as entertaining. Kyrah looks beautiful, dances with a sleazy guy, rocks a string of sexy outfits and ends up - you guessed it - on the toilet. Class. Kyrah's stunning anthem is scheduled for release on the 28th of June. Fingers crossed it's a hit!


Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Kyrah
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Two Kyrah Video Exclusives!

Pop Trash favourite Kyrah is gearing up for the release of her stunning debut single "Uh Oh" and kindly sent over a couple of promo videos for your viewing pleasure. These are not even on her own website yet - so they are a world exclusive. How fancy! I'm slightly obsessed with "Uh Oh", so I couldn't wait to see what Kyrah had to say about the song and video. The first clip (above) is just a fun shout out to her fans but the second one (below) is really interesting. The aspiring pop princess says the song is based on a friend "who doesn't care what guys think". I guess that's code for 'she's a slut'. Anyway, "Uh Oh" is apparently a female empowerment anthem! Kyrah then spills the juice on the video. Apparently she was inspired by Madonna's "Justify My Love", particularly "all the leather". The diva promises PVC, lace and lots of old Hollywood glamour. It sounds amazing! I'm told the video clip is almost finished, so expect to see a lot more from Kyrah in the next few days.

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A Kyrah Update

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a little post about Kyrah. Since then I've received more feedback about the rising pop star than anyone else I've featured on this blog in the past five years. It seems everyone loves Kyrah or loves to hate her. Either way, the new Ke$ha has definitely made an impact and I thought I'd give you an update on her latest movements. Firstly, "Uh Oh" has been confirmed as her debut single. The final radio edit will be mixed by Ash Howes (Kylie, Marina & The Diamonds and Little Boots) and remixes have already been commissioned from Digital Dog and Almighty. I haven't heard the latter - Since when did Almighty come back in fashion? I feel like it's 1997 all over again! - but the Digital Dog mixes are amazing. Check out the Digital Dog Radio Edit below. Great stuff but they've removed the now iconic lyric "wake up naked and it's oops I'm naked". Scandal! In other news, Kyrah is gearing up to film the "Uh Oh" video clip in the next couple of weeks. I'm told it will be old Hollywood meets white trash. Sounds right up my alley! Oh and she finally has a proper internet presence. Check out/add/follow Kyrah on:

1. Mixpod
2. Twitter
3. Myspace
4. Facebook

Anyway, here's her first remix:


Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Kyrah
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Introducing Kyrah

Watch out, pop fans. The first Ke$ha clone has officially arrived and she's packing one of 2010's catchiest anthems! That might sound like a backhanded compliment but there's no denying the similarities between Kyrah's debut single and everything pop music's favourite skank has ever recorded. And there's nothing wrong with that. "Tik Tok" wouldn't have worked without "Just Dance", just as that song owes a large debt to Rihanna's "Dont Stop The Music, which she, in turn, stole from Kat Deluna and so on and so forth all the way back to 1980 when La Toya did everything first. Fact! Anyway, back to Kyrah. To be honest, she's a bit of mystery woman. All I know is that she was born in the UK, raised in the US and has a batch of quirky pop songs streaming on her Myspace. Strangely enough, they're all very different to "Uh Oh". Her older material has a slightly gothic rock edge ("Darker Side" and "Angels In Pain"), while her debut is pure electro-dance. It's definitely a step in the right direction. If you overlook the Ke$ha comparisons, there is so much to love about this fierce party jam. "Uh Oh" has a killer chorus, great production and some of the year's classiest lyrics. I'm also slightly obsessed with the male backing vocalist who says "listen, Kyrah" like a drag queen on heat. And let's face it, any song that opens with "wake up wasted and it's oops I'm naked" was always going to end up on Pop Trash Addicts! I really think this girl can go a long way if she finds her own niche. She's gorgeous, knows how to write a catchy tune and has a great voice. Check out Kyrah's high brow exploration of social mores below. Give it a couple of listens. It's a massive grower.


Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Kyrah
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