Kylie Does The Wiggles

    Kylie is the queen of random duets. From Gerling to Towa Tei, Ms Minogue has hooked up with some seriously obscure acts over the past 20 years but her latest pairing takes the proverbial cake. It seems we can now add The Wiggles to Kylie's long list of collaborators. No, you're not high. News reports confirm the elder Minogue has indeed teamed up with those multi-coloured t-shirt wearing losers for a little ditty called "Monkey Man". I'm sorry but what the fuck? Even Dannii would draw the line at this shit. On second thoughts, Holidannii is probably trying to arrange studio time with Hi-5 as I type - but I digress. The Wiggles? Kylie says she jumped at the chance to work with the world famous children's group in a bid to impress her 2 year old nephew. Couldn't the cheap bitch just buy him a present instead? Whatever. It's all in good fun and provides further proof that Kylie doesn't take herself too seriously. If more was needed after "Nu-Di-Ty". Call me insane but I actually quite like the song. "Monkey Man" is strangely hypnotic! You can listen to a clip of it here. All this crap needs is a Death Metal Disco Scene remix and a cheap Willy Baker directed video clip (preferably with a cameo from Dannii dressed as Dorothy the Dinosaur) and I'm on board!Source URL:
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Sarah McLachlan - Adia

Sarah McLachlan - I Will Remember You

John Legend - Everybody Knows

Vanessa-Mae - Destiny

The Return Of K Lo!

    Bow down, bitches. According to industry whispers, the orange goddess is currently bathing in a vat of golden glow in preparation for her magnificent comeback! The pop world just isn't the same without Kelly Llorenna's stunning pipes and luminescent fake tan. She is British pop music and I, for one, can't wait for her return to the lower reaches of the UK top 75. Despite her absence, sultry K Lo has been a busy girl since her last flop single, "I Will Love Again", peaked at a lofty #105. She has recorded a HI-NRG cover of a James Bond theme song for Klone Records, been hired as the vocalist du jour for legendary dance outfit Love To Infinity and most excitingly, re-joined forces with N-Trance - the group that rocketed her to international superstardom all those years ago.

    The new N-Trance record, "Nothing Lasts Forever", is a glorious return to form. The beats come hard and heavy, while Kelly's exquisite vocals waft above the track like a gift from sweet baby Jesus. Seriously, listening to this you would be forgiven for thinking it was 1997 all over again and I mean that as a huge compliment. I hope the song is a smash hit for Kelly and the boys but given AATW's (her record company) recent track record, I wouldn't be surprised if this brilliant anthem never sees the light of day. So make sure you listen to it here. It really is quite fabulous. While we wait with baited breath for K Lo's glorious return, why not check out her last opus - a trashtastic cover of Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff". I finally worked out how to stream music (thanks Jennifer!), so you can bask in Ms Llorenna's magnificence below. This stunning masterpiece appears on the classily titled "Gay Days 5" compilation and is available to download from Australian iTunes. Welcome back, Kelly. You have been sorely missed!

    Hot Stuff

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Kelly Clarkson - Because of You

CC Martini - Blogs, Jizz and America

    A lot has happened in the six months since I interviewed underground pop icon CC Martini. Australia's hottest fire crotch packed her bags and flew to America late last year in order to work on the follow-up to her completely fucking amazing debut "All The Way". CC even started a blog to document her journey and you can catch up on all her adventures here. As you can tell from her most recent post, CC is now on her way back home to tie up some loose ends - either that or they found her stash and she's been deported! I had a quick cyber chat with CC before she left and the Queen of Pip Pop kindly spilled the beans on America, the new album and her most recent "moisturiser dispenser". It was great to catch up and I can't wait to watch "The Plan" unfold. Enjoy!

    Hey CC, how are things going for you in America? Has it been mostly business or pleasure?
    Well you know me, Mike. I like to mix the pleasure and the business together, wink wink. I have had SO much fun here. I've met some really, really rad people and I have been all over. I've been away for 3 months. I have spent quite a bit of time in LA, 10 days in New York, 2 weeks in Portland, and the rest of the time in San Francisco and Oakland, with a trip to Las Vegas and Austin, Texas over the New Year. It has been an awesome, life changing, eye-opening experience. I have had SO MUCH FUN. I don't want it to ever end.

    Have you worked on any new material? If so, who with?
    Yes. I bought my first Mac Book in New York and I've been making demos in Garage Band, brainstorming new material for my sessions. I did a couple of new tracks with a producer - Andy Baldwin (an Australian friend of mine who now lives in New York, who did some work on "All The Way"). And I've also been working with Stephen Bradley (of No Doubt) and Dave Tweedie from Oakland. My favourite new song that we did is called "Dress Me Up". It's fucking cool, cute and popalicious! Kent (Morris) is also working on some new stuff which is gonna be totally rad, our fave new song is called "Glitz Glam".

    When can we expect to hear this amazing new stuff?
    I know! soooooon. I will leak my stuff to you internet peeps well before it's gonna come out officially to push the system and make it keep up! This industry moves soooo sloooowly and it's frustrating but I am tryna crack the whip and make 'em catch up!

    Your fans are worried about your complexion. Last time you confided that you didn't have a man's potion to use as lotion. Have you bagged yourself an American hottie to remedy the situation?
    Well usually I kiss and tell, as you know, but I think Imma keep this one to myself for now, you'll hear about my new adventures in the songs on the new album. I will say though, I have had some great times with my latest moisturiser dispenser, which have included riding on the back of a Harley Davidson across the Golden Gate Bridge and around the Napa Valley. San Francisco is so beautiful. I looked like a big nerd though because my hire leather jacket was way too big, I wasn't impressed that they didn't have mini sizes. Apart from my jacket it was a really cool day.

    According to your blog, you've been hanging out in Portland. Is it as boring as it looks? (Apologies to any locals!)
    Portland was my "quiet time" get down into nature, cut down a Christmas tree and take pictures of your friend's dogs in dress ups after you've had 5 tequila shots because it's too fucking freezing to go outside and you have to make your own fun time. I drank a lot of alcohol in Portland. They had a freaky winter blizzard that nearly had me stuck there! They got more snow than ever on record. People were snowboarding in the streets! Portland actually has quite a happening music scene actually. I fell in love with this girl from a band called
    Y La Bamba. They were amazing on stage, absolutely captivating. It was like a musical orgasm when they played, look them up on myspace, they're great!

    I noticed you've signed up to perform at the D&D ball in Melbourne. Does that mean you're coming home?
    Yes it's true, I'm coming home... I'm coming back just to sort some shit out and fucking rock the socks off what is left of the summer and then head back to America to finish off the next album and continue with 'The Plan'. Thanks for your support Mike and all you pop trash addicts. Make sure you become
    Myspace friends or fans on Facebook. Love yas!

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Avril Lavigne - Sk8er Boi

Leona Lewis - I Will Be

Beyoncé - Diva


    It's time for a little blog housekeeping. Basically, this post is a dumping ground for thoughts and little tidbits of information that I've been meaning to share for the past couple of weeks. I guess I should get the (really) boring stuff out of the way first. I finally pulled my finger out and made a Pop Trash Addicts Myspace. Add me as a friend if you can be bothered. I also need to overhaul my links. If you write or simply want to recommend a quality pop blog, send me an e-mail. You can find the address in my profile. Warning: I reserve the right to place a voodoo curse on anyone who directs me to a Girls Aloud fansite! Moving on to more exciting things, my Asian tour edition of "X" (pictured above) finally arrived. It's beautiful and actually worth owning - unlike the Australian version. I love the "making of" videos and it's nice to have Kylie's BRITS performance of "Wow" on DVD... even if the poor old thing looks like a bored housewife on Valium.

    Speaking of fabulous Australian divas, how fantastic is it to see Jessica Mauboy at #1 on the singles chart? Written and produced by the Danish team behind Kylie's "Like A Drug" and "All I See", "Burn" really is a sparkling slice of urban dance-pop. I wasn't crazy about the song to begin with but it just gets better with each listen. Jess is now one of only three Indigenous performers (that I can think of) to reach the summit of the charts - along with Casey Donovan and Jimmy Little. If Sony manages to pick a decent follow-up single, I don't see why she can't do it all over again. Don't be put off by the hideous cover, "Been Waiting" is a really great pop album. Another quality local release that I've been playing all summer is Sneaky Sound System's "2". Unfortunately, this fabulous opus is suffering from serious BSC or bad single choices. After flopping miserably with "When We Were Young", the group have settled on "16" for single number 3. Great move. Another depressing piece of filler that you couldn't pay radio to play. It's frustrating because "2" contains so many hot jams with great hit potential. "I Want Everything" and "Lost In The Future" are two very obvious choices.

    I'm on a roll, so I might as well continue with the local acts. Pop Trash readers will be very familiar with Melinda Jackson. I wrote about her regularly in 2007 ("Fall In Love" is still one of my favourite songs) but she sadly dropped off the pop radar last year. Happily, Mel has returned with a hot new sound and even a new name! She is starting over as Mindi and I wish her all the best. Mindi's edgy new tracks are streaming on her Myspace. They are definitely worth checking out. Another diva to feature regularly on Pop Trash Addicts is Zoe Badwi. I was completely obsessed with Sirens and raved about her first solo single way back in October. "Release Me" ended up being a #1 club hit for 7 weeks and three months later, it's still hovering in the top 5. A video has finally been released - sort of. Zoe's live performance at Sensation (a big NYE party) will serve as the clip unless "Release Me" crosses over to the pop charts. Check it out below. I really hope the song takes off. Zoe is amazing and "Release Me" deserves to be huge.

    Now for the international divas. I'm not sold on Kelly Clarkson's new song. Pink did it first and Katy Perry did it better. There's no denying Max Martin's ability to knock out a catchy pop/rock tune but the man is turning into a boring production line of mediocrity. Pink and Katy get away with it because they have enough attitude to make his songs their own. I can't imagine anyone but Pink singing "So What" and who else but Katy Perry would blurt out "you PMS like a bitch, I should know". Kelly, on the other hand, gets completely lost in the mix. She's harmless enough but the woman is a personality free zone. For an example of Max Martin trying something different, I recommend Pink's new single "Please Don't Leave Me". It's one of the best songs on "Funhouse" and I love hearing it every 5 minutes (literally) on Australian radio.

    While on the topic of American pop, I have to mention Christina Milian's amazing new single. "Us Against The World" sounds like the bastard child of Alicia Keys' "No One" and Whitney Houston's "My Love Is Your Love". In my mind, that's a very good thing. The sing was released digitally way back in October without making much of a splash but it finally seems to be taking off thanks to the recently filmed video clip. It's pretty classy - Christina basically rolls around some sand dunes wearing a series of increasingly skimpy outfits. I'm looking forward to her new album, "So Amazin'" was a real guilty pleasure. I guess I should also mention Beyoncé's new singles. Talk about going from the sublime to the ridiculous. "Halo" is my favourite song from "Sasha Fierce" and I'm thrilled, if a little surprised, that it's going to be the next Australian single. Unfortunately, Beyoncé is going with "Diva" in America, which more than likely means we'll get it next. Words can't adequately describe how much I hate that song. A diva is NOT "a female version of a hustler". May drag queens smite you down, bitch! Annoyingly, the "Diva" video is totally fierce. I love the 80s shoulder pads and wicked dance moves. The "Halo" film clip, on the other hand, is the most insipid piece of shit Beyoncé has ever put her name to. At least the song is brilliant.

    Just a few more things to get off my chest. Firstly, Spain is fucked. Soraya came second in the initial Eurovision vote - to this revolting rubbish. Even the shirtless men can't make that shit bearable. On the bright side, Soraya got enough votes to progress through to the next round, which will be a televised gala. I'm convinced Spain will fall under Soraya's beautiful spell when she belts out "La Noche Es Para Mi" in front of a live audience. If not, I'm moving to Portugal. That is when I find my Spanish husband. If nothing else, Eurovision has breathed new life into Soraya's amazing album - it's climbed from #99 to #57 over the past 3 weeks. That's true Dannii-esque $ucce$$! Soraya isn't the only fabulous Euro-diva desperately trying to revive their career at the moment. Germany's Sarah Connor has recorded a duet with Enrique Iglesias for the German version of his Greatest Hits. Amusingly, it's a re-make of "Takin' Back My Love" - the current American single that Enrique recorded with Ciara. Poor Sarah might get Ciara's sloppy seconds but at least it's a good song. Last but not least, spare a thought for poor La Toya. I can't believe Toy Toy was evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother house. The United Kingdom clearly has no fucking taste!

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Destiny's Child - Independent Women

Marta Sánchez & Carlos Baute - The Duet

    What do you get when you combine the self-proclaimed "Spanish Madonna" with a South American himbo best known for taking off his shirt at every available opportunity? The answer, quite unexpectedly, is one of the sweetest duets I've heard in a long time. "Colgando En Tus Manos", roughly translated as "Hanging In Your Hands", is currently the most downloaded song in Spain (according to iTunes) and it's easy to see the appeal.

    Carlos and Marta deliver an adorable mid-tempo ballad, which no doubt has Spanish housewives from Bilbao to Málaga in a lather. I'm usually immune to soppy love songs but there's just something about this gorgeous track that clicks with me. I guess it doesn't hurt that I'm slightly obsessed with one of the participants (I must have picked up 5 or 6 Marta CDs in Spain) but the thing I love most about "Colgando En Tus Manos" is its simplicity. There are no tiresome vocal acrobatics or overbearing production flourishes - just some beautifully played guitar, two lovely voices and fabulous lyrics about having dinner in Marbella. That's not to mention the catchy "cuidado, cuidado" hook or the cute video.

    I love film clips with a storyline and this stunning tale of love and lust between a limo driver and his famous client deserves an Academy Award - if only for the trashy scene where Marta and Carlos do some weird interpretive dance in an empty stadium. I'm convinced this is all based on fact. Marta looks like the kind of desperate bitch that would let the hired help work over her musty growler. And who can blame her? I wish Carlos' cock was colgando in my manos too. Don't be put off by the new and improved Pop Trash Addicts cover (above), this really is a classy affair!

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Warning: Toygasmic Video!

    Dear friends,

    As many of you may already know, the legendary La Toya Jackson is currently gracing the UK Celebrity Big Brother house - the highlights of which have been captured in the toygasmic video above. I've watched on with boundless pride as my beloved goddess has warmed even the hardest of hearts with her humility, sweet nature, stunning talent and exquisite beauty. In return for filling your empty lives with joy and laughter, I implore you to vote for Toy Toy. After 9 flop albums and no hits over a thirty year career, isn't it about time this poor bitch finally experienced some success?


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The Fray - You Found Me

Britney Spears - Circus

Ami Suzuki Does Kylie - Twice!

    My copy of Ami Suzuki's "Supreme Show" finally arrived from Japan - two months after its November release. I was concerned that the album might be a rush job, coming only 9 months after her last opus but my fears turned out to be completely unfounded. I loved "Dolce" (it made #15 in my year end album countdown) but "Supreme Show" is in a whole new league. Once I've had a chance to fully digest its brilliance, I'll write a detailed review. In the meantime, I just can't resist commenting on the album's first two singles - more specifically, on the video clips. In the past, I've jokingly referred to Ami as the Japanese Dannii but it seems the fabulous diva has loftier aspirations. This time around she's decided to pay homage to the more successful Minogue, chanelling Kylie in both of her new videos!

    I first heard "Can't Stop The Disco" way back in September but like a lot of songs released last year, it kind of fell through the cracks during my trip. I would have paid the song considerably more attention if I had bothered to watch the video clip (above). This will be old news to J-Pop fans but I almost fell off my chair when I finally checked it out a couple of days ago. "Can't Stop The Disco" is a virtual scene by scene remake of Kylie's "In My Arms" video - only filmed on one tenth of the budget. The result is pure trash heaven. Instead of Gareth Pugh couture, Ami wears a hoodie from K-Mart and rolls around in a box that could well be made out of bin liner. It seems that my girl copped a lot of criticism for "copying" Kylie's video but I prefer to view it as a loving tribute to another fabulous diva. Happily, the controversy didn't prevent the song debuting in Japanese top 20. $ucce$$!

    After the unprecedented fabulousness of "Can't Stop The Disco", I thought it would be prudent to check out the film clip for the album's first single. Unfortunately, "One" (below) completely passed me by last July. In my defence, I was probably getting pissed with ladyboys in Thailand at the time but I still can't believe I missed one of the year's best songs - from one of my favourite divas, no less! I could rave about "One" all night but I'll leave that for my "Supreme Show" review. Needless to say, the song is pure genius. I don't know what I was expecting from the video but I thought the chances of two Minogue knock offs were pretty slim. It seems I underestimated my beloved Japanese princess. "One" is clearly inspired by Kylie's "Wow" but it's not quite as shameless. In fact, if I hadn't just watched "Can't Stop The Disco", I would have given Ami the benefit of the doubt. A lot of videos share the same premise (Kelly Rowland's "Work" comes to mind) and the similarities are nowhere near as glaring. "One" does use the same neon light sticks and epilepsy inducing editing but there's no fatsuit or unflattering bob to be seen. If nothing else, the Japanese diva can take solace in the fact that she actually looks good in her video. "One" seems to have sparked the usual allegations of theft but Ami's resourceful approach to music videos makes me love her even more. I just hope this fabulous bitch rips off "All I See" for her next clip!

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The All-American Rejects - Dirty Little Secret

Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat - Lucky

Metro Station - Shake It

Grace Jones - Hurricane Live

    Fierce is a chronically overused adjective but it is the only one that adequately describes Grace Jones. She is the epitome of the word, the embodiment of all things fabulous and ferocious. Which other 60 year old diva could prowl the stage in little more than a g-string and corset, talk incessantly about her tight pussy and still come across as sexy and relevant? Given her iconic image, I fully expected the Grace Jones experience to be dark, edgy and effortlessly stylish. It was. However, I wasn't prepared for the rawness of last night's concert, the pure emotion and the grittiness. There were no production values to speak of - just an incredibly tight band, several dozen hats and Grace in all her breathtakingly bold glory.

    Upon arriving, my friend quipped that the Enmore Theatre resembled "an elephant graveyard for old gays". An unkind reference to the decidedly MAG-tastic crowd. A wide spectrum of fans turned up but I'm guessing the majority still own "Warm Leatherette" on vinyl. Respect! After knocking back a few too many drinks, we navigated our way through a sea of drag queens, baby faced hipsters and grey haired gays to find the best vantage point. It wasn't long before the show began with Grace hovering above the crowd, belting out her 80s classic "Nightclubbing". The effect was mesmerising. Grace looked like an Amazonian goddess as she was lowered to the stage in her skimpy outfit and outrageous headgear. More importantly, her voice was in fine form and the band was incredible. It was apparent from the beginning that we were in for something extraordinary.

    As the opening number came to a close, Grace disappeared off stage to change into a different hat - a pattern that would continue for the entire concert. It should have been disconcerting or jarring but it worked for the simple fact that Grace left her microphone on and used the opportunity to talk to the crowd from the wings. Some early highlights include "I'm just swallowing something... and it's not what you think" and "this jacket is tighter than my pussy". She returned to sing a menacing rendition of "This Is Life" from her new album "Hurricane", before pleasing the faithful with 1982's still magnificent "My Jamaican Guy". The performance was amazing but her straw man hat and potato sack ensemble constituted the first and only time that Grace crossed the line between fabulous and slightly ridiculous.

    The next few songs all came from "Hurricane". Grace mentioned that "Sunset Sunrise" was written by her son and pointed him out to the crowd (he was part of the band). She then introduced "Love You To Life" by revealing that it was the first song recorded for the album and was the reason "I'm here and not smoking a spliff in Jamaica". The latter performance was fantastic but still paled in comparison to her stunning rendition of "William's Blood", which was as raw as it was spectacular. Ms Jones described it as "church music" and the arrangement really beefed up the song's gospel overtones. That track more than any other showcased Grace's deep, rich voice - the quality of which often gets overlooked in favour of her startling image. While the new material was inspiring, my highlight from the first half of the concert was "La Vie En Rose", which Grace performed while rotating around a stripper pole! It speaks volumes for quality of Ivor Guest's updated arrangement that a 70s disco anthem fit seamlessly into the funk heavy cuts from "Hurricane".

    Grace donned horns to belt out a dark and menacing version of "Devil In My Life" before bringing the crowd to their feet with "Pull Up To The Bumper". Appropriately, given the song's rumoured anal sex subtext, Grace spent most of the song shaking her bare arse at the crowd like a 20 year old Brazilian stripper before inviting the audience to dance with her on stage. I feared it might be the big finale but she swiftly returned for the gentle reggae jam "Well, Well, Well" after humorously bitching about Sydney's weather ("It's hotter than fucking Jamaica!") and shark infested beaches during yet another costume change. It was then time for another classic in the form of "Love Is The Drug", which was beautifully staged with green lights reflecting off the diva's sequined top hat. I thought that would be hard act to follow but Grace upped the ante again by singing "Slave To The Rhythm" while rotating a pink hula hoop around her waist for the entire song. Quite a sight to behold!

    The concert concluded with a truly epic performance of her new album's title track. Grace squeezed every inch of emotion from her voice as she sung "Hurricane" while walking towards a giant fan, long black cape billowing behind her. It was clear from her facial expression that this is more than just a song to Grace - it sums up her whole life philosophy. "Hurricane" was the most theatrical moment of the evening and the perfect end to an exceptional concert. I left the Enmore with a whole new appreciation for Grace Jones and her entire body of work. I've been inspired to fill the holes in my collection and dig deeper into this amazing woman's life. She is one of a kind and still undeniably, sometimes almost unbearably fierce.

    Note: The first photo is mine, the remainder come from D-Listed.

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Amanda Lear's Brief Encounters

    Watch out, bitches - the Queen of China Town is back! Details of the divine Amanda Lear's first studio album in 3 years have finally emerged and if the amazing tracklist is any indication, we are in for a rare treat. The genderbending icon has revealed that the album will be called "Brief Encounters" and features two distinct themes spread over separate discs - kind of like a more fabulous version of Beyoncé's "Sasha Fierce"! The first disc is said to have a pared back, acoustic sound and features original tracks as well as several eyebrow raising covers, including the MASH theme song and Amy Winehouse's "Back To Black". The mind boggles! I'm particularly looking forward to Amanda's version of David Bowie's "Sorrow" - after all she did star in the original 1973 video. While I'm tantalised by the prospect of Miss Lear in acoustic mode, I'm positively beside myself about disc two.

    Someone Else's Eyes
    I Don't Wanna Lose You
    Let's Love
    Sorrow (David Bowie cover)
    Back to Black (Amy Winehouse cover)
    I Belong To You (Lenny Kravitz cover)
    Comment te dire adieu (Françoise Hardy cover)
    Perfect Day (Lou Reed cover)
    Suicide Is Painless (MASH theme song)
    Fallin' in Love Again
    Je m'appelle Amanda
    Secret Lover
    Cupidon (Acoustic)

    The second disc returns Amanda to her happiest hunting ground - the dancefloor. Not only that but my friend and Australian Hi-NRG legend Peter Wilson has contributed three tracks to the album and produced a fourth! Some of you might remember my interview with Peter from early last year, in which he revealed submitting a song to the legendary diva called "Brand New Love Affair". Peter described it then as sounding like a sequel to Amanda's 1978 disco classic "Follow Me", so it promises to be brilliant. Peter and his songwriting partner Chris Richards also contribute the song "C'est La Vie" and produce a lush cover of "Always On My Mind", which is definitely more Pet Shop Boys than Elvis. You can hear a clip of this dark and hypnotic delight here. Simply click on the link "The Album" and prepare to be blown away! Even more exciting - if that's possible - is the fact that Amanda covers one of Peter's own songs, the fabulous "Doin' Fine". There's no word on a release date for "Brief Encounters" as yet but it's slated for the European spring. It goes without saying that I can not fucking wait!

    Doin' Fine (Peter Wilson cover)
    This Is Not America (David Bowie cover)
    Let the Music Play (Giorgio Moroder cover)
    Always on My Mind (Elvis Presley cover)
    Brand New Love Affair
    C'est La Vie
    Doin' Fine (12" Version)
    Always on My Mind" (12" Version)
    It's a Good Day
    This Is Not America (12" Version)
    It's Hard to Say Goodbye

    To celebrate the imminent return of this timeless diva, check out Amanda's disco version of the alphabet (below). I can't stop watching it. The whole thing is just so breathtakingly fierce and original. My favourite line - "G, of course, stands for getting divorced!" Welcome back, Amanda!

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Ne-Yo - Sexy Love

Eminem - Mockingbird

Pitbull - Krazy (feat. Lil Jon)

The PTA Blog Awards!

    Welcome to the first but most probably not annual, Pop Trash Addicts Blog Awards. This is my way of celebrating the best (and worst) of pop music blogging. I was inspired to honour Blogland's over- and underachievers after reading the list of nominees for Weblog's "Best Music Blog". With the exception of the brilliant Fizzy Pop (please vote for it here), I would prefer to go down on Dulta when she's on the rag than peruse any of these too cool for school wankfests ever again. The majority specialise in deathly boring indie rock and even the "pop friendly" blogs rave endlessly about Lykke Li. Sorry but that bitch is no Dannii! Where are the fun pop blogs? The nominees are all clearly great at what they do but I'll stick to bloggers who think Fleet Foxes are fast animals and abstain from holding their own poorly attended club nights. Here are my completely subjective highlights from the weird and wonderful world of blogging in 2008:

    Best New Blogs:
    Postcards From Puerto Rico
    Jay actually admits to buying Uncle B and posts amazing Dannii porn. I'm obsessed!
    An invaluable resource for lovers of locally produced pop.
    The Prophet
    A great urban pop blog that specialises in fabulous divas like Mariah, Jennifer Lopez and La Toya Jackson.
    The only blog that would review Enya's Christmas album and Kevin Rudolph back to back!

    Most Misleading Blog Title:
    Disco Belle
    I was expecting Gloria Gaynor. I got Swizz Beats & Lil Wayne.
    Trash Menagerie
    Lord knows, there ain't no Kelly Wilde on this über-cool blog!

    Most Sorely Missed Blog:
    How I miss this fabulous shrine to all things Stock Aitken Waterman. Blogland just isn't the same without him.

    Blogger On The Best Drugs:
    Diva Incarnate
    I absolutely worship this blogger but girlfriend needs to put the crackpipe down before getting online. On second thoughts, the Diva probably needed a strong narcotic to get through Girls Alouds' new album but his review of "Out Of Control" is, well, completely out of control. This is probably my favourite post of the year - it has to be read to be believed! My favourite quote:

    Distorted reality is diluted into glistening eyes, and who better to convey unruffled dignity than the queen of utter-ness Nicola. With such static horror and ambivalence, her only way of sounding more calm would be to be dead - she sings softly, but speaks volumes.

    Best Blog Concept:
    My Spanish pal David (above) posts a fabulous new song every day - accompanied by a raunchy pic of himself! Truly fergalicious!

    Best Blogs That Are Rarely Updated:
    Tat Parade
    This lazy whore needs to pull his finger out! Jamie, your blog is a truly amazing shrine to 80s has-beens and floptastic divas but I feel like I age a decade between posts. Get it together, girl!
    Diva Incarnate
    Every now and again this trashtastic blog blows me away with a spectacular post. The rest of the time it's as empty as Kylie's uterus.
    Revolutionary Pop Music
    Well, it started with a bang but the wind seems to have well and truly gone out of this ship's sails.

    Best Blogs Devoted To One Artist:
    Trip The Switch
    The best Kylie blog on the internet. It's beautifully designed, informative and most importantly - doesn't specialise in posting illegal downloads unlike most Kylie "fan" sites.
    Madonna Revelations
    The sexy sluts that run this superlative site are sweet angels sent from the heavens to reveal Madonna's true evil nature to the world. Keep up the good fight, ladies!
    I highly recommend this fun blog devoted to September. This is a great source of information about one of Sweden's finest exports.

    Trashiest Bloggers:
    1. Jamie from Poplicious
    For fellating a married Lithuanian outside a Kelly Wilde concert. Bless.
    2. Fernando from Bubu's Chart Blog
    This drunken whore is a hot mess. Highlights include trying to rip down the curtains at Polana (a gay nightclub in Madrid), stealing a cape (!) and vomiting over himself and everyone else he knows. Doll, I miss you more every day!
    3. Tony Tornado
    Tony flashes his cock so frequently it should be listed in Lonely Planet as Madrid's leading tourist attraction.

    Most Disturbing Post:
    Olga Loves Yuяi
    I'm not overly familiar with this place but it seems like a really cute blog. However, this post gave me cold sweats and a week of sleepness nights. Please stop the insanity! They beat up black toilet attendants and wouldn't know a microphone from a dildo. My arsehole has more talent!

    Best Blog Rumour:
    Apparently Poster Girl is a man named Kevin. This is about as likely as Dannii's next single rocketing to #1 in 25 countries.

    Best Banners:
    I'll let these speak for themselves. I know it's cheeky but I included one of my own. May Dannii's Dirty Box never be forgotten!

    Dannii's Dirty Box

    Milk Carton Pop Stars

    Madonna Revelations

    Blogs After My Own Heart:
    This category is dedicated to niche blogs that paddle the same trashy waters as myself. I'm glad there are so many fine resting places for floptastic divas and failed pop stars. I pay tribute to all these brave crap connoisseurs in no particular order.
    Milk Carton Pop Stars
    The lost property box of Blogland. These fearless trash addicts never fail to inspire me.
    The Ravings Of A Mad Woman
    Drag icon Deirdre is currently preoccupied with her new shemale duo Talibananarama (!) but her amazing blog is usually a haven for pure pop trash. Check out her posts on Sinitta, Mandy Smith and Hazell Dean.
    The Isle Of Deserted Pop Stars
    Quite simply one of the best sites on the internet but more about this gem later.

    Best End Of Year Countdowns:
    Pop Poster Girl
    It's only half way through but this magnificent end of year countdown has me completely hooked. I just hope the eventual winner doesn't make me want to throw myself over the edge of a cliff.
    Duane wrote an amazing 31 album reviews for the 31 days of December in his mammoth 'best of' countdown. A truly great read.
    Scarlett's Blog
    Scarlett is new to blogging but if her end of year countdowns are any indication, she'll be an old pro in no time. Um, that came out a bit wrong! Check out Scarlett's 'best of' lists here, here and here.

    Best Reviews:
    Adem's 'Van She' Review
    My idea of a good review is something that makes you want to listen to the music yourself. My idea of a great review is a piece of writing that convinces you to check out something you suspect you're going to hate and that's exactly the effect Adem's articulate and passionate Van She review had on me. I gave the album a go despite my better judgement and was very pleasantly surprised indeed.
    Disco Delivery's 'Nocturna' Review
    Any of Tommy's posts could have won this award but I was particularly swept away by brilliant review of this obscure horror disco musical soundtrack. I love the way he treats an album that most people would discard as a poor excuse for landfill with the utmost respect and admiration. As a result of reading his review, I spent weeks combing through second hand shops until I found a copy and am still searching the internet for the movie. I can't think of a better compliment.
    Diva Incarnate's infamous 'Girls Aloud' Review
    As mentioned earlier, this is quite possibly the most hilarious piece of writing I've come across all year. I'm not even sure if the review is positive or negative (I think it's the former) but it remains an unforgettable experience. I can't wait to see what he comes up with next!

    Best Blog Interview:
    Don't Stop The Pop
    Robpop was in a league of his own this year. His interviews with Steve Anderson (read Part 1 here and Part 2 here) and Richard Stannard (Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here) were insightful, respectful and utterly fascinating. The little nuggets of Kylie information squeezed out of both songwriters were an absolute treat for a hardcore fan like myself. I just hope Rob gets Dannii's "hitmakers" under his microscope. The world needs an indepth Terry Ronald/Ian Masterson interview!

    Best Blog Writers:
    D'Luv of Chart Rigger. This fabulous media whore is in high demand across the internet, spreading his unique brand of D'Luv to readers of classy sites as varied as The Daily Beast and Towleroad. One glance at Chart Rigger explains his popularity. It's sharp, funny and he uses the word "stripper" a lot.
    Robpop of Don't Stop The Pop. Rob is one of the smartest people I have ever met. He's kind of like Rain Man - only without the Aspergers! The combination of that intelligence and his burning passion for pop music makes every single thing he writes an absolute delight.
    Tommy of Disco Delivery. Tommy's amazing eye for detail, academic approach to research and beautiful turn of phrase make each and every post of this gorgeous blog essential reading.

    Best Spanish Blogs:
    I read this blog every day and I can't speak a word of Spanish! I guess all the pics of semi-naked hunks help to overcome the language barrier. Pablo has become the ultimate diva of the Spanish blogging scene since fleeing Nicaragua on the back of a donkey in the late 90s. I love his amazing artwork (check out this beautiful comic strip) and Minogue fixation. Shame about the hideous banner currently ruining his blog!
    Sexy Spaniard + hot tracks = great blog.
    You don't need to speak a word of Spanish to understand this fabulous blog because there are no words - just clip after clip of forgotten gems from fierce divas like Sandra and CC Catch, not to mention my holy icon, Fancy.

    Best Aus Blogs:
    Adem With An E
    Sometimes I think Adem and I have diametrically opposed taste in pop (he's part of the Girls Aloud/Madonna axis of evil) but it's never stopped me enjoying his fantastic reviews, brilliant writing or amazingly gorgeous website.
    This blog has it all - soft porn and wonderful music! It also boasts a super hot blogger who likes to post the occasional nude picture of himself. What more could you ask for? I particularly love Johnny's recent post about Starstruck - Australia's most fabulous movie musical. Ever!
    Trashtastic Aussie
    One of the most sorely underappreciated blogs on the net. Natty's never ending pursuit of local trash is more addictive than crack. Check out her Top 10 trashtastic Aussie singles of 2008. Now that's what I call taste!

    Best US Blogs:
    Chart Rigger
    From his hot lesbian soccer mum hairstyle to his copious use of the word "hooker", D'Luv rocks my world. I can't imagine life without Robbie's bitchy chart updates, banterviews or nostalgic trips down memory lane. I just wish he would drag MoogaBoo out of his dungeon lair more often.
    Pop Poster Girl
    I think the whole world secretly wants to make out with the lovely Poster Girl. Her encyclopedic knowledge of pop is unprecedented. This hot bitch would have me at "let me just put on some Jonathon Fagerlund".
    Pop Music Notes
    I'm an extremely late convert to this blog but it really is essential reading for anyone with a passing interest in pop music.

    Best UK Blogs:
    Don't Stop The Pop
    Rob continues to stun and amaze with his searching interviews, Myspace discoveries and exquisite taste in pop music. I just wish the blog was updated with more regularity.
    My Fizzy Pop
    Paul's endless enthusiasm for all things pop should be medically recognised as a contagious disease. Thanks to his lovely ramblings I now know more about Simon Curtis and Same Difference than their own families. Quality.
    This has to be the most criminally underrated blog on the net. Jamie is ten kinds of fabulous and probably the only person on earth to get lucky at a Kelly Wilde concert. I think more sultry Sanna Nielsen ballads are needed to bring in the punters!

    Worst Blogs:
    Chances are you'll have already read about it at Fizzy Pop or Don't Stop The Pop before it graces the pages of this beautifully designed but disturbingly derivative blog.
    I have nothing against mp3 posting blogs. That would be hugely hypocritical of me because I started off as one. However, I always drew the line at posting commercially available releases that can be easily purchased from iTunes or a record store. This blog's persistence in posting new singles and whole albums is NOT cool.
    If nothing else this blog proves that Scandipop can be as boring - if not more so - than anything to come out of America or the UK.


    Disco Delivery
    My favourite pop blog of 2008 is the absolutely exquisite Disco Delivery. Brilliantly written, lovingly researched (footnotes!) and presented with equal measures of passion and humour - this gem really stands out from the crowd with its originality. Disco blogs are not unheard of but they usually stick to the mainstream divas. Tommy, on the other hand, digs up obscure acts that even fans of the genre have forgotten about or didn't know existed in the first place. Every time I visit Disco Delivery, I feel that I've not only been entertained - but also educated. The posts can be somewhat erratic in frequency but I'd prefer to wait a month for pure quality than be served up a shit sandwich every day. An absolute must read.


    The Isle Of Deserted Pop Stars
    I've always loved combing through second hand record stores for rough diamonds. One man's trash really is a tragic gay's treasure! Well, The Isle Of Deserted Pop Stars is the cyber equivalent of the best stocked bargain bin in history. Nasty G serves up album after album of lost freestyle classics, floptastic divas and lesbian girlbands that shocked the masses well before TATU were hatched by music executives. This is also the perfect example of a responsibe mp3 posting blog. All the music posted is decades out of print and extremely hard to find. I can't help but think that the creators of these blissful tunes would be grateful that their music is being heard and appreciated.

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