Panic! at the Disco - New Perspective

The Ultimate Dannii Promo

    This is quite simply THE most amazing thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It captures the essence of Dannii, her stunning artistry and undeniable genius perfectly. Watch this and weep tears of pure joy.Source URL:
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Color Me Badd - I Adore Mi Amor

Three Days Grace - Break

3OH!3 - Starstrukk (feat. Katy Perry)

Amanda Lear - Brief Encounters Review

    Now this is a bit confusing, so please bear with me. Way back in January I wrote a post announcing Amanda Lear's comeback album and even provided a tentative tracklist. The good news is that "Brief Encounters" has finally been released. Albeit only in Italy. Now, here's where things get a little complicated. The album will be released in France on the 23rd of November (and subsequently in the rest of the world) as "Brand New Love Affair" - with a completely different tracklisting! The albums also have distinctly different themes. The Italian release is a double CD comprised of an acoustic disc and a dance/remix disc, while the French version is a disco concept album. I haven't heard "Brand New Love Affair" in full yet but it appears that most of the best tracks have ended up on that album. However, that's not to say that the Italian version is a write off. "Brief Encounters" is a great listen and contains several Lear-tastic pop gems. If this is the reject album (so to speak) - the real deal should be amazing!

    Disc 1

    Despite mainly featuring acoustic/pared back covers, disc 1 kicks off with the album's mid-tempo lead single "Someone Else's Eyes" - an appealing duet with the album's main producer Deadstar. I like the song but I prefer the airbrushed to the point of being animated video clip. Watch a preview above. The next song is more reflective of this half of the album. Amanda shows Amy Winehouse a thing or two about being a real diva on her surprisingly fabulous cover of "Back To Black". The jazzy sound suits Ms Lear perfectly and she was born to sing the line "he left no time to regret, kept his dick wet"! "Cupidon", a pretty ballad performed in French, is followed by a sax-tastic version of the Lenny Kravitz hit "I Belong To You". Amanda sounds great but I don't like the musical arrangement. It sounds like elevator music from the 80s. The same could be said for "I Don't Wanna Lose You", which is similarly sleep inducing. Happily, "Fallin' In Love Again" is more lively and stands out as the album's only contemporary pop-rock track.

    "Je m'appelle Amanda" is poignant for the clearly autobiographical lyrics, while the jaunty accordion wouldn't sound out of place in a Parisian cafe. Unfortunately, "Let's Love" is another snail paced ballad that sounds like it was stolen from Kenny G circa 1984 but Amanda's smokey cover of Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" is touching despite being marred by excessive lashings of saxophone. The covers continue unabated with a cute version of Françoise Hardy's "Comment Te Dire Adieu", which has more than a touch of Austin Powers about it. The Queen of Chinatown's take on David Bowie's "Sorrow" is a real highlight. The arrangement is relatively faithful to the original and the song choice is sentimental given that the great diva appeared in the original video clip (below). I was really concerned about the next song but "Suicide Is Painless" (better known as the MASH theme song) is a minor triumph. Amanda brings real gravitas to the proceedings and the result is tender and real. Disc 1 finishes on a rather insipid note with "Secret Lover" but there is a lot to enjoy on the first half of "Brief Encounters".

    Disc 2

    I suspect that most fans will be far more interested in the trashtastic second disc, which returns Amanda to dancefloor. The disc opens with an unexpected cover of Peter Wilson's "Doin' Fine". Peter is a friend of mine - so I'm probably a bit biased - but I prefer his version. The production on this is just lazy. It's exactly the same backing track as Peter's version! Rather more appealing is the dance remix of "Someone Else's Eyes", which is pure Hi-NRG cheese. I love the floaty Euro beats and really think this should have been the single version. Next up is the first of three versions of "This Is Not America" (not a David Bowie cover as first reported). The song is a surprisingly dark dance anthem with political lyrics and it works quite well. However, I think three remixes is a bit of overkill. Disco fans will be more interested in Amanda's interpretation of Giorgio Moroder's "Let The Music Play". I love this. The production is a bit kooky at times but a talented DJ could work wonders with it. However, the album's best cover version is yet to come. As far as I'm concerned "Brief Encounters" is worth tracking down for Ms Lear's stunning cover of "Always On My Mind" alone. This is the only T1 production (Peter Wilson and Chris Richards) on the Italian release and it's a winner. Think the Pet Shop Boys meet Kate Ryan (if she could sing) and you have some idea of what this achingly pretty, synth drenched treat sounds like. The boys also deliver a fantastic club mix. The last notable track on Disc 2 is "For What I Am". Amusingly, the song comes with an R'n'B remix but it's pretty dull by Amanda's lofty standards and brings down what is a highly enjoyable collection of dance tunes and remixes.

    "Brief Encounters" is available to order from FNAC Italy but they don't ship to Australia (or America by the look of it), so your best bet is Ebay. Amanda's Italian opus is a lot of fun and essential for fans of disco's most fabulous diva but it's very uneven. There are some great moments but the album has clearly been padded with filler and unnecessary remixes - probably because most of the quality tracks ended up on the French release if the buzz on Myspace and Facebook is any indication. Speaking of which, check out a preview of the title track and lead single from "Brand New Love Affair" (below). I'll post more details about that release very soon.

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Meredith Brooks - Bitch

    "Bitch" is a Grammy Award nominated song by Meredith Brooks from her first album, Blurring the Edges, released in 1997. The song peaked at #2 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 chart, and became an international success. It ranked #79 on VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s.Source URL:
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Britney Spears - Piece of Me

    "Piece of Me" is the second single by American pop singer Britney Spears from her fifth studio album, Blackout, released on November 27, 2007. The song received positive critical reviews and it was ranked at number 15 on Rolling Stone magazine's list of The 100 Best Songs of 2007. This music video won three awards at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards.Source URL:
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Pink - Trouble

    "Trouble" is the first single from Pink's third studio album Try This, released in October 2003. It was moderately successful, reaching number two on the Canadian Singles Chart. Even with the lack of chart success, the song went on to win a Grammy Award for Best Female Rock Vocal Performance in 2004. The song was also featured in the 2004 film White Chicks, starring Shawn and Marlon Wayans.Source URL:
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Bon Jovi - We Weren't Born to Follow

    "We Weren't Born to Follow" is the first single to be released from Bon Jovi's upcoming eleventh studio album, The Circle, set to be released on November 10, 2009. The song debuted at #90 on the Billboard Hot 100 since it premiered on radio on August 17.Source URL:
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Pink - I Don't Believe You

Daughtry - Life After You

Dannii - The 95 Sessions

    You know it's November when Dannii releases her annual batch of X Factor cash-in albums. This time around the Queen of Clubs is unveiling deluxe editions of her stunning debut "Love & Kisses" as well as her 1993 #52 UK smash hit "Get Into You". However, the real gem is "The 95 Sessions" - possibly Dannii's most exciting fan release ever! I don't usually have a lot of nice things to say about Nafensays but I think he's done a great job on this. I just hope it doesn't sell out on iTunes like "The Early Years" because Dannii's lost 1995 album is the holy grail of pop music as far as I'm concerned!

    After the phenomenal worldwide success of "Get Into You", the prettier Minogue swiftly started work on her third album for MCA Records. Dannii mentioned in interviews that she was experimenting with club beats after revolutionising urban music on her previous two masterpieces and rumours began circulating that she was working with hot 90s dance producers Love To Infinity, Soul II Soul and Motiv 8. Promotion for the album was underway by mid-1995 and the Empress of X Factor even performed the original version of "Everlasting Night" and another new song called "Free Your Love" at various gay pride events. Both of those songs appear on "The 95 Sessions" - along with "Don't Want To Leave You Now", which Dannii performed on her sold out (according to Droid statisticians) 1998 tour. I LOVE the original and vastly superior version of "Everlasting Night", so if the rest of the album even comes close to matching those heights I will be in 7th heaven! The official tracklist is below:

    Free Your Love
    Skin Deep
    Love And Affection
    I Got This Feeling
    Let Love Into Your Life
    Everlasting Night
    Crazy For Your Love
    Love In Me
    Love Will Find A Way
    Don't Wanna Leave You Now
    Free Your Love (Remix)

    This the first Dannii fan release that doesn't feel like a cheap X Factor cash-in and Nathan deserves a lot of credit for putting it together. I think I'm going to get a spray tan (setting - Kelly Llorenna orange) and wear a plunging V neck t-shit in his honour! "The 95 Sessions" is available to pre-order now from Play. I already know what I want for Christmas.Source URL:
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Jessie James - I Look So Good (Without You)

Carrie Underwood - Cowboy Casanova

    "Cowboy Casanova" is the lead single from Carrie Underwood's third studio album Play On, which is scheduled to be released in November 2009. The song debuted at #26 on the U.S. Billboard Hot Country Songs chart for the week of September 19, 2009. It reached #11 the following week, making it Underwood's fastest climbing song in the chart.Source URL:
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Young Jeezy - Put On (feat. Kanye West)

Whitney Houston - I Look to You

    "I Look to You" is the title track from American R&B recording artist Whitney Houston's sixth studio album, I Look to You. The song received highly favorable reviews at pre-release album listening parties and was released as a worldwide promotional single on July 23, 2009 on US radio. It has since become Houston's highest charting single in the United States in nine years.Source URL:
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Aqua - My Mamma Said

    "My Mamma Said" is the second track by dance-pop Danish band Aqua from the band's second compilation album, Greatest Hits. The music video premiered on October 26th, 2009 and to date, the song has peaked at #11 on the Danish Singles Chart.Source URL:
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Mariah Carey - Make It Happen

3 Words For Cheryl Cole: Go. Fuck. Yourself.

    Listening to "3 Words" is only slightly more painful and humiliating than being punched in the face by a talentless media whore in a public toilet after being called a "jigaboo". Seriously, urban pop music hasn't sunk to these depraved depths since Damon Dash single-handedly destroyed Victoria Beckham's music career by convincing her to go street. I can't think of anything positive to say about "3 Words" - well, apart from the fact that it probably sets a new world record for the most copious use of autotune on a single recording. The racist from Girls Aloud proves once and for all that she is a delusional idiot suffering from a stunning lack of vocal ability and charisma. Cheryl has crafted what is possibly the worst album of all time (and that includes Cameron Daddo's country album) and I found the process of reviewing it to be a cruel and unusual punishment. Anyway, here are my brief thoughts on 2009's biggest turd:

    3 Words (Featuring - 0/10

    Who the fuck does this cunt think she is? Fergie? This dreary, mid-tempo urban pop duet sounds like something The Dutchess recorded when she was still on Meth and talking to washing machines. "3 Words" - a clear reference to the 'Ku Klux Klan' if ever I heard it - is utterly appalling. There's no chorus and no melody to speak of. All that's left is Cheryl's mercifully autotuned voice and some weak beats that were obviously too shit for "The E.N.D."

    Parachute - 0/10

    Oh lord. The world's worst singer has decided to rip off "Umbrella". I can't believe this hateful troll thinks she's in the same league as Rihanna. Where's Chris Brown when you need him to smack a bitch up? Honestly, this is just abysmal. Faux urban pop at its most derivative and dire.

    Heaven (Featuring - 0/10

    "I don't gotta die to get up to heaven. My heaven's wit choo!" Someone really needs to tell Cheryl that assaulting a black woman doesn't make her one. Bitch is from Newcastle not New York! This bland dirge is utterly pointless and more than a little embarrassing. What the hell has gotten into I think he's just decided to sabotage the racist's career by giving her all his worst tunes. When was this recorded? 2002?

    Fight For This Love (AKA Fight For This Race) - 0/10

    I've already said enough about 2009's most disturbing and appalling piece of propaganda for the White Supremacy movement. Bad lyrics, bad vocals and production recycled from Brandy circa 1997 equals putrid pop at its most empty and vile.

    Rain On Me - 0/10

    Seriously, I can't believe this tragic bitch ever got a record deal. Her voice is thinner than an extra sheer condom and leaves an even worse taste in your mouth. This mid-tempo misstep (produced by the usually reliable Wayne Wilkins) has absolutely nothing going for it. Even Shontelle would draw the line at this sad pile of wank.

    Make Me Cry - 0/10

    I'd love to see this racist bitch cry. It shouldn't be too hard. I'm sure she throws a tantrum every time Barack Obama comes on the telly and makes Ashley get extra nasty with his mobile phone before putting on "Birth Of A Nation" to calm her nerves. This is one of the few bouncy pop tunes on the album but it's completely destroyed by Cheryl's voice. It's also two minutes too long.

    Happy Hour - 0/10

    Is she referring to the moment this shit ends? Fantastic - more recycled urban beats and a migraine inducing sample. Who is this album's intended audience? Those tens of VB fans living in hope that her urban masterpiece will eventually leak in full? Or just deluded Girls Aloud fans who have regularly proven their willingness to buy any old shit? At least "Happy Hour" boasts some so bad they're almost amusing lyrics. "I realise some days I can be sweet and some I'm sour but I can't help but drink you up 'cause you're my happy hour" - I mean, really.

    Stand Up - 0.5/10

    Finally a cheap and cheerful dance number that wouldn't sound out of place on a Girls Aloud album. Co-written and produced by Taio Cruz (who is no stranger to polishing a turd), this is the album's best track but it's still sounds like an Agnes B-side. Forgettable but relatively inoffensive.

    Don't Talk About This Love - 0/10

    Oh hell, I'm really scared. This one note wonder is trying to sing a ballad. Jesus take the wheel and steer me clear of this crime against humanity. Computer says 'fuck no', deletes its hard drive and explodes in protest.

    Boy Like You (Featuring - 0/10

    How dare this cunt sample one of my favourite Fleetwood Mac songs? Stevie would never approve! Unfortunately that sample is the only good thing about "Boy Like You". Plodding beats pollute something that could have been remotely interesting. This sounds like an insipid attempt at mimicking the RedOne sound. I have officially lost all respect for This is just gross.

    Heartbreaker (Featuring - 0/10

    Oh great. It's the musical masterpiece that launched Cheryl's solo career. It was shit in 2008 and it's still shit now.

    In conclusion, I would prefer to be slowly castrated by Jewel's crooked teeth and forced to read Ayn Rand for the rest of eternity than ever hear this musical abortion ever again.Source URL:
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Boyz II Men - The Color of Love

Ace of Base - Wheel of Fortune

Vanessa Williams - Just Friends

Coolio - Gangsta's Paradise

    "Gangsta's Paradise" is a 1995 rap song by Coolio which was featured on the Gangsta's Paradise album and Dangerous Minds (starring Michelle Pfeiffer) soundtrack. He won the Grammy Award for Best Rap Solo Performance and Best Rap Video at the 1996 MTV Video Music Awards. In 2008, the song was ranked number 38 on VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of Hip Hop.Source URL:
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Ronan Keating - Last Thing on My Mind (feat. LeAnn Rimes)

    "Last Thing on My Mind" featuring American singer LeAnn Rimes, is a 2004 pop single by Irish singer Ronan Keating from is 2003 album Turn It On. The song reached #5 in the UK Singles Chart and peaked at #16 on the U.S. Billboard Adult Contemporary Tracks Chart. It was also included on Rimes' Greatest Hits album.Source URL:
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Jennifer Lopez - Feelin' So Good

    "Feelin' So Good" is the fourth single from Jennifer Lopez's debut album, On the 6 (1999). It features rappers Big Pun and Fat Joe. Released in 2000, the song peaked at #1 on the U.S. Billboard Hot Dance Club Play. Even though it was less successful than her previous singles, the music critics gave the song positive reviews and claimed that it is one of Lopez's best songs.Source URL:
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JoJo - Baby It's You (feat. Bow Wow)

Adam Lambert - Time For Miracles

    "Time for Miracles" is Adam Lambert's second single which was released on October 16, 2009. The song will be featured in the upcoming disaster film 2012. According to Oscar analysts, the song is considered a contender for Best Original Song at the upcoming 82nd Academy Awards.Source URL:
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Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone

    "Already Gone" is the third single from American singer-songwriter Kelly Clarkson's 2009 album, All I Ever Wanted. The song was co-written by Clarkson and Ryan Tedder (frontman for the band OneRepublic), who also produced it. It has also received positive reviews overall since it's release in August 2009.Source URL:
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Muse - Uprising

Lily Allen - Who'd Have Known

    "Who'd Have Known" is the fourth single by British recording artist Lily Allen from her second studio album, It's Not Me, It's You. The song was released in the United Kingdom on 23 November 2009. The song samples Take That's single "Shine", and Allen received positive reviews from the critics for her warm vocals.Source URL:
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Stephen Gately - New Beginning

OneRepublic - Secrets

Robbie Williams - Bodies

The Lady GaGa Effect - Ke$ha + Lolene

    Say what you like about Lady GaGa and her publicity whoring ways but it's impossible to deny the impact her success has had on the music scene. Since attaining the fame little over a year ago, the stunning beauty has turned electro-pop into a highly sought after commodity - opening the door for a whole new wave of dance divas. While some are happy to imitate (see Cascada's line for line remake of "Just Dance" otherwise known as "Evacuate The Dancefloor"), others (Eva Simons for example) have managed to put their own spin on the GaGa sound. The two ladies featured in this post definitely fall into the latter category. Ke$ha has been on my radar since actually making a Flo Rida song sound good. While her vocal on "Round Round" helped raise her profile, the 22 year old (in GaGa years?) looks set to hit the big time courtesy of the insanely catchy "Tik Tok". Ke$ha's anthem and video clip explore very similar territory to "Just Dance" and the track boasts some of the best/most dubious lyrics since "Poker Face" but it still sounds fresh and relatively original. "Tik Tok" is a winner largely due to Ke$ha's larger than life personality, the chunky beats and its universal theme. Who doesn't like alcohol and dancing? Given the quality of the songs on her Myspace, I'd say Ke$ha is here to stay. At least until the dance-pop revival runs out of steam or she stops sucking Diddy's cock.

    The next beneficiary of Lady GaGa's success is the slightly demented Lolene. I love this crazy bitch but I seriously doubt she would currently be signed to Capitol Records if the fame monster hadn't paved the way first. In the past Lolene would have simply been too risqué for the masses but now her super sleazy image is a selling point. While the shy and retiring English diva shares some common ground with Lady GaGa, I don't think "Sexy People" will trouble "Bad Romance" on the charts. Lolene is quick to point out that this is just preview and not her official debut single but the video (below) is getting a lot of attention for all the wrong reasons. I love the fact that the film clip takes place inside Lolene's vagina and features a couple of drag queens who accidentally left their wigs and dresses at home but I seem to be in the minority. The song itself is a pretty standard dance anthem. It's catchy enough but lacks the bite of Ke$ha's hit. "Sexy People" is apparently not indicative of the rest of her album, which raises the question of why she bothered releasing it in the first place. Anyway, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. Anyone who calls their blog Lolene's Disco Vagina is alright by me!

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Black Eyed Peas - Meet Me Halfway

Alexandra Burke - Bad Boys (feat. Flo Rida)

Vanessa Williams - The Comfort Zone

    "The Comfort Zone" is the second single and title track from Vanessa Williams' second studio album, The Comfort Zone (1991). The song peaked at number two on the U.S. Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs and was nominated for the 1993 Grammy Award for Best R&B Vocal Performance, Female.Source URL:
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Ness Ness At Number 1!

    My copy of Vanessa's #1 smash hit

    Bow down to Australia's new Queen of Pop! Tonight Vanessa Amorosi is celebrating the first #1 hit of her decade long career. It's hard to believe that modern classics like "Absolutely Everybody" and "Have A Look" stalled outside the top 5, so this is long overdue. The achievement is all the more impressive when you consider Vanessa's competition. "This Is Who I Am" had to outsell new releases from Britney and Robbie Williams - making it a rare triumph for good taste and talent! I'm so happy for Ness Ness. She's gone from strength to strength since staging her comeback and this cements her spot in the upper echelon of Australian pop. I've already written about my love for "This Is Who I Am" but I still can't get enough of it. There's just something ruthlessly catchy and uplifting about this tune. The lyrics are a raised middle finger to her haters (Ness don't care if she's fat or if you think her clothes are bad), Machopsycho's production steals every trick in Max Martin's book and she looks all kinds of sexy on the single cover! Shame about the tragic video (below) though. At least the scene where she's flying on a cloud is good for comedy value and I guess it's not her fault if CGI hasn't quite made its way to Australia. Anyway, congratulations Vanessa. You've come a long way from dancing around Liverpool Plaza!

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Muse - Starlight

Jennifer Lopez - Get Right

    "Get Right" is the lead single from Jennifer Lopez's fourth studio album, Rebirth, released in February 2005. The single was Lopez's tenth top twenty single in the U.S. when it peaked at number twelve on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. It also peaked at number one on the UK Singles Chart, her first chart-topper in the UK since 2001's "Love Don't Cost a Thing".Source URL:
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Justin Bieber - One Less Lonely Girl

Shakira's She Wolf - Album Review

    As you can probably tell from some of my previous posts, I'm slightly obsessed with Shakira. "Laundry Service" remains one of my favourite albums of all time and I seem to be the only person who genuinely liked "Oral Fixation Vol. 2" - even though it failed to live up to the genius of Volume 1 (the sublime Spanish version). I was expecting huge things from her third English language album and Shakira delivers. Kind of. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE "She Wolf". It's one of the best pop albums you will hear all year (definitely in my top 5 for 2009 thus far) and it contains a handful of songs that rank right up there with "Día Especial", "Fool", "Las de la Intuición", "Underneath Your Clothes", "Te Dejo Madrid" and "Don't Bother" as Shakira classics. However, there is one major blight on this otherwise gorgeous set of pop tunes - the involvement of The Neptunes.

    Pharrell seriously needs to back the fuck off before he drags any more divas into his web of urban mediocrity. At their best The Neptunes create fresh and interesting soundscapes that clearly inspire the people they work with (see Gwen's "Hollaback Girl" and Shakira's "Did It Again") but more often than not I hear the same old recycled beats and tired hooks (ie. Madonna's entire "Hard candy" album). The four (six if you count the Spanish versions) Neptunes produced tracks are not bad by any means. They just could have been recorded by any old skank. It's almost like Shakira has been lost in the process of making something American radio will play. Worse still, the songs don't sit very well with the rest of the album, which is adventurous, brave and eclectic - everything we've come to know and expect from Colombia's greatest export. Here's my review:

    She Wolf - A+

    I'm starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office

    I don't think anyone was expecting Shakira to return with a disco-tinged electro-pop anthem about lycanthropy and office furniture! It really shouldn't work (and sometimes I think it doesn't quite gel) but I love the track's eccentricity and fearlessness. Shakira isn't afraid to try new things and experiment with her sound. And her bravery is rewarded on this. John Hill's production carries the sometimes clumsy phrasing along perfectly and Shakira's lyrics and camp howls are an endless source of joy. Don't even get me started on the video, which is disturbs and amuses me in equal measure!

    Did It Again - A+

    Did it again
    Damn, I got it all wrong
    But it felt so right
    I can't believe it

    This song hits a little too close to home for me at the moment, which probably explains why I've played it about thirty times in the past 48 hours. Of all the Neptunes produced tracks, this is the clear stand out. "Did It Again" perfectly balances the electronic elements with small urban flourishes. The layering of beats and samples is dazzling and there are a million and one little hooks to draw you in. Best of all, this is still very much a Shakira song. Her confessional lyrics are perfectly showcased and her unique brand of melancholy is unmistakable. "Did It Again" reminds me of a slightly more upbeat version of Nelly Furtado's "Say It Right", which is a huge compliment.

    Long Time - B-

    Hold me, show me all the talent God has given you

    I think I'm being overly generous giving this a B- (C+ would be more accurate) but it's inoffensive filler that happily bounces along like everything else The Neptunes have ever produced and I have a soft (hard?) spot for songs about frenzied fucking. I don't want to sound like a broken record but my problem with this is that it could have been recorded by anyone. There's not a reference to unshaved legs or a bad metaphor to be heard. Shakira is completely MIA.

    Why Wait - B

    Why wait for later?
    I'm not a waiter

    Everything that I said about "Long Time" basically applies to "Why Wait". The only reason I've given it a slightly higher rating is for the subtle Eastern elements that litter the track and for the chunkier beats. It's nice. It's just not Shakira.

    Good Stuff - B+

    I'm not gonna miss out on the good stuff
    The grass is much greener with us on it

    The last Neptunes production (phew!) is mercifully one of their best. "Good Stuff" is another club banger (in the American sense of the term) but what separates this from "Long Time" and "Why Wait" is the genuinely catchy chorus. I also love the quirky splashes of accordion and, if I'm not mistaken, I can even hear some tinkering on a xylophone! There's something wonderfully Latin about this track that should endear it to old school fans. Breezy and beautiful.

    Men In This Town - A+

    Where are all the men in this town?
    What's a girl supposed to do?

    Shakira, you're preaching to the choir. I've been asking myself the same question for years! Amazing and highly accurate lyrics aside, the great thing about "Men In This Town" is the fact that it represents the only truly electro track on the album. I can only imagine how brilliant "She Wolf" would have turned out if Shakira had pursued this sound further. It suits her perfectly and brilliantly showcases her quirky sensibility. John Hill's production is a revelation and I've decided that Kylie needs to hire him to helm "XI". By the way, am I hallucinating or does she really say "I never dreamed that I'd come here to be the next (Angelina) Jolie"?

    Gypsy - A+

    I'm a gypsy, are you coming with me?
    I might steal your clothes and wear them if they fit me

    Now this is an unexpected delight. Hiding among all the urban pop tunes and dance anthems is this sweet little guitar pop gem that wouldn't sound out of place on "Laundry Service" or "Oral Fixation Vol. 2". Co-written and co-produced by Amanda Ghost (who wrote "Disappear", "Ave Maria" and "Satellites" for Beyoncé's amazing "Sasha Fierce" album), "Gypsy" captures the essence of Shakira better than any other track on the album - perhaps with the exception of "Mon Amour". It's floaty, pretty, slightly weird and always engaging. I doubt this will ever be released as a single but it's already rocking the Shakira playlist on my Ipod.

    Spy (Featuring Wyclef Jean) - B+

    Blinds are see through
    Let your mind go and imagine that I kiss you

    Unfortunately, this is no "Hips Don't Lie". Instead of the upbeat party anthem I was expecting, "Spy" is a slinky urban groove about Shakira flirting with a stalker/peeping tom! It took a couple of listens but now I think it's great. The melody is gorgeous and I love the demented chorus. There's also a touch of old school R'n'B about this track, which makes it stand out from the rest of the album. Ba ba ba ba!

    Mon Amour - A+

    And I every night I pray that you don't knock her up
    Cause I still want to be the mother of your child

    What can you say about a song that opens with that couplet? Well, other than declare it a work of lyrical genius! "Mon Amour" reminds me a little of the hugely underrated "Hey You" from "Oral Fixation Vol. 2". It's bursting with crunchy guitars, drenched in ska and contains some of the best/worst lyrics ever recorded. The song even ends with Shakira welcoming passengers on a flight to hell! I love everything about "Mon Amour" and it makes me miss the slightly more varied sound palette of her old material. Again, it would be commercial suicide to release this as a single but I think it's essential Shakira.

    Give It Up To Me (Featuring Lil Wayne and Timbaland) - F

    You can go up my crane, girl
    And imma go down that drain, girl

    I should start by pointing out that this is mercifully not on the Australian or European versions of the album. It's a last minute addition to the delayed American release and according to reports will be the second single in America. This is a pathetic attempt to score a US hit and I can barely listen to the track without gagging on the stench of desperation. "Give It Up To Me" is little more than a rehash of Timbaland's "Give It To Me" with Shakira filling in for Nelly Furtado. The song is catchy as hell but Shakira is not a disposable urban nobody like Ciara or Keri Hilson. This is just demeaning.

    Lo Hecho Está Hecho - A+

    The Spanish version of "Did It Again".

    Años Luz - B

    The Spanish version of "Why Wait".

    Loba - A+

    "She Wolf" sounds even better in Spanish. Fact.

    So where does that leave us? "She Wolf" is a fantastic album but it's not the triumph I was hoping for. It's definitely marked improvement on "Oral Fixation Vol. 2", I just wish Shakira had worked with John Hill on more tracks and left The Neptunes to aging has-beens like Madonna. My other concern is the lack of standout singles. There are at least half a dozen great songs but nothing I can imagine burning up the charts - perhaps with the exception of "Did It Again" and "Men In This Town" (at least in Australia and the UK). That has to be a worry for an album that was clearly constructed with the aim of being played on American radio. I still think "She Wolf" puts recent albums by Mariah, Britney and P!nk to shame - cementing Shakira's place near the top of the pop ladder. I just hope she's more true to herself next time around.

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John Mayer - Who Says

Boyzone - Love You Anyway

    "Love You Anyway" is the first single by Irish boyband Boyzone taken from their 2008 greatest hits album Back Again... No Matter What. It is their first single release for 8 years and their first since their reunion in 2007. The song peaked at #5 on the UK Singles Chart, becoming their 17th consecutive top 5 hit in the UK.Source URL:
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The Veronicas - Hook Me Up

La Toya's Ode To Janet

    Whenever I'm feeling down, I play some La Toya and the world instantly feels a bit brighter. This week I've been pumping Toy Toy's 1986 triumph "Imagination". The album was a massive flop (even by the Pope of Pop's low standards) but I love it to bits - particularly the calypso-tastic "On A Night Like This" and the dubiously titled "Boys Got Somethin' Girls Ain't Got". In a strange coincidence, my friend and regular Pop Trash contributor Magical Froggy has just put the finishing touches to a stunning video for the album's most infamous track. "Baby Sister" is notorious among Toy Soldiers and Janatics as La Toya's musical swipe at her much less talented sister Janet. While not as bitter as Jermaine's fuck you note to Michael (1991's "Word To The Badd"), the song still packs a punch. The line "you used to love me til you met my baby sister" takes on a whole new meaning when you consider the song was released in the same year that "Control" turned Janet into a superstar and I wouldn't be surprised if the lyrics about man stealing and back stabbing were also based on fact given Manita Ho's uncontrollable vagina! However, "Baby Sister" is more than just a novelty hit. It's a shiny piece of pop perfection with gorgeous 80s synths and a perky little chorus. The song was also a critical smash winning the Outstanding Song Award at the 16th Annual World Popular Song Festival in Japan. Take that, Toy haters! I think MF's video (below) perfectly captures the essence of the song. My favourite bit is Janet standing outside McDonalds and Joe's cameo at the end. Enjoy!

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Chantal Kreviazuk - Invincible

Jennifer Lopez - Fresh Out The Oven (feat. Pitbull)

Justin Bieber - One Time

Muse - Time Is Running Out

    "Time Is Running Out" is the third single by English alternative rock band Muse from their third album, Absolution, released in September 2003. The song became the band's breakthrough hit on alternative rock radio in the United States, and went on to peak at #9 on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart.Source URL:
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Medina > Robyn > Annie

    One of the 2009's best pop songs has just been released in Australia and no one seems to have noticed. Medina's "You And I" is currently riding a tidal wave of internet hype and clubplay but the song is yet to properly cross over. I'd like to think it's only a matter of time but Scandipop doesn't have a great track record in this country - just ask Robyn! Speaking of that Swedish troll, "You And I" is the first Scandinavian pop tune to give me goosebumps since "Be Mine" way back in 2005. Everything about this icy dance anthem reeks of quality. The production (courtesy of The Providers) is clinically precise, the lyrics perfectly capture the rollercoaster ride of a bitter break up and the chorus is catchy to the point of being ridiculous. Interestingly, "You And I" was first released in Denmark last year under the title "Kun For Mig" and went on to spend 6 weeks at #1. The original Danish version is amazing and I hope it's included as a B-side if EMI Australia decide to release a physical single. It might also be wise to stop pushing the Deadmau5 remix (regardless of its brilliance) and go with the far more commercial UK radio edit that's used in the unfortunate video clip (below). I say unfortunate because poor Medina suffers from a bad case of Lady GaGa face and dressing her up like a Russian prostitute doesn't really help her cause! That said, the song is absolutely irresistible and deserves to be huge. I can't wait to hear more from the pride of Denmark.

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Boyzone - Words

    "Words" is a song written and sung by the Bee Gees in 1968. Irish boyband Boyzone covered the song in their 1996 album, A Different Beat. The song became the band's first number one hit in the UK. It went on to become the 16th best selling single of 1996 in the UK.Source URL:
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Stephen Gately - Stay

Mariah Carey - Someday

The Legendary Collette

    Once upon a time (in the late 80s) in land far, far away (Australia) a fair maiden emerged to briefly turn the music scene upside down with her stunning lycra outfits and cheerful pop tunes. Of course, I'm talking about the legendary Collette. The cult icon is currently experiencing something of a revival after being featured on D Listed (I believe she'll also be making an appearance on The Isle Of Deserted Pop Stars in the not too distant future) and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to write a little tribute to one of my favourite Australian pop stars of all time. Most people dismiss Collette as little more than a highly amusing footnote in local pop history but she deserves credit for producing two glorious albums and for carving out an enduring niche in popular culture. What would the 80s be without Collette's fluorescent lycra bike shorts?

    Collette first came to prominence in the early 80s as a fashion model, becoming one of the faces of Dolly Magazine. Her wholesome good looks were enough to generate interest among the record labels and she eventually signed with CBS. Happily, nobody seems to have noticed her complete and utter lack of vocal ability and she promptly started work on her debut single! The interesting thing about Collette is the fact she was one of the few local divas to hitch her wagon to Kylie's Hi-NRG dance-pop sound. Only she took things to the next level by immersing herself in the emerging house movement - making her Australia's first Queen of clubs! I don't think anyone expected Collette to be a massive success but the response to "Ring My Bell" was instant. I still remember the first time I saw the ravishing beauty's trashtastic cover of Anita Ward's disco classic on Video Hits. Those tinny dance beats were irresistible and I was utterly mesmerised by Collette's amazing approach to fashion. The song leaped into the top 5 (a rare achievement for a local act at the time) and teenage girls across the nation started leaving the house in outfits that should never be seen outside a gymnasium! Check out the deservedly iconic video:

    With a massive smash hit on her hands, Collette rushed into the studio to record a follow up - again with DJ Pee Wee Ferris at the helm. "All I Wanna Do Is Dance" is another cracking club anthem with a slightly harder dance edge than "Ring My Bell". I love the catchy chorus and that crazy foghorn hook. Again Collette brought her A game to the film clip, wearing a stunning array of lycra outfits including leopard skin print bike shorts! The song was relatively successful, peaking at a lofty #12 - which proves once and for all that this diva was no one hit wonder! Collette's third single "That's What I Like About You" is one of my favourites and wouldn't sound out of place on a Stock Aitken Waterman compilation from the late 80s. Despite being a bubbly little pop gem the song stalled at #31. However, the video became an instant camp cult classic. The scenes in the nightclub are just too fierce! At around this time, Collette's debut album was finally released. "Raze The Roof" served up more of the same and is highly recommended to trash lovers but interest had started to fade and the album only limped to #48. It's a shame because "Raze The Roof" is an endless source of enjoyment and contains one of my all time favourite 80s anthems in the form of "Ordinary Man". That song still sums up what I'm looking for in a partner. Collette speaks the truth!

    After "Raze The Roof", Collette swiftly re-emerged in 1990 with a "sophisticated" new image. Gone were the lycra outfits that made her a household name. Instead, Collette rocked a short haircut and wore even skimpier outfits than before. Personally, I think ditching the lycra was her downfall but I guess times were changing and she had to switch things up. That goes doubly for her music. Collette dumped the club beats in favour of an R'n'B sound (!) on her stunning comeback anthem "Who Do You Think You Are?" The song is an unintentionally hilarious Janet Jackson rip off but I love it to pieces. The production is a lot of fun and the almost spoken verses are... memorable. I love the chorus and the "street" video (below) is just too trashtastic for words. Unfortunately, the general public wasn't buying Collette's transformation and the song flopped at #56. In a slightly desperate attempt at re-claiming her "Ring My Bell" glory, the diva returned to dance music and covered another disco favourite. This time Collette revamped Diana's "Upside Down" but it performed even worse than her previous single, scraping into the charts at #91. It's a shame because I think the world needed and still needs a tacky Hi-NRG/acid house re-working of this gem. I still give it a spin every chance I get, particularly around disco enthusiasts who always get intensely annoyed for some reason! Check it out here.

    After the miserable chart performance of "Who Do You Think You Are?" and "Upside Down", Collette did a reverse Kylie - joining Home & Away to restore her profile. It didn't really work. She only released one more single, a dance cover of the soul classic "This Will Be (Everlasting Love)". The video clip - complete with MC Hammer dancers - is a sight to behold and the 90s overhaul works surprisingly well. I love the song but it didn't even chart. Shortly thereafter, Collette's sophomore album "Attitude" was released but it also disappeared without a trace. However, it's definitely worth hunting down. I love the faux R'n'B numbers as much as the dance trash. The title track is particularly fun. Unfortunately, Collette is yet to bless the music world with another album but she hasn't disappeared from sight entirely. I was lucky enough to catch her perform at Arq in 2005 and she wowed a huge crowd at Mardi Gras in 2007. She still looks amazing and knows how to bust a dance move. 2009 is the year of the cougar, so keep your fingers crossed that Collette joins Stacey Q, Sam Fox and Sabrina on the comeback trail!

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OneRepublic - All the Right Moves

Stephen Gately - I Believe

    "I Believe" is the second single from Stephen Gately's debut solo album, New Beginning, released in May 2000. The song was featured on the soundtrack to the film Billy Elliot and went on to peak at #11 on the UK Singles Chart. The album went on to reach number three in the UK charts.Source URL:
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Boyzone - Better

Mýa - My Love Is Like...Wo

    "My Love Is Like...Wo" is the lead single by American R&B-pop singer Mýa from her third studio album, Moodring (2003). Released in June 2003, the track is one of Mýa's biggest U.S. hits after the #1 success of "Lady Marmalade" in 2001. The song reached #13 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 and earned her two nominations at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards for Best Dance Video and Best Choreography.Source URL:
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The ARIAs - Shit As Usual

    My future husband Andy Bull - Robbed of ARIA glory!

    So this year's ARIA nominations (Australia's equivalent to the Grammies) have just been announced and all the usual suspects are heavily represented. Seriously, if you're the overhyped product of a major record label, specialise in indie rock or are simply a pretentious singer-songwriter with an alternative haircut then chances are you're going home with a swag of awards. Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to argue with The Temper Trap, Empire Of The Sun or even Kate Miller-Heidke snagging a bunch of nominations but Sarah Blasko, Eskimo Joe and AC/DC? Bitch, please. Why not just nominate Missy Higgins for whatever vomit inducing "masterpiece" she's currently working on/squeezing out of her arsehole? I guess pop music will never be recognised in this country so I've decided to come up with my own nominees. I know some of my choices are not eligible (due to release dates) but here goes:


    AC/DC - Black Ice
    Sarah Blasko - As Day Follows Night
    Empire Of The Sun - Walking On A Dream
    Eskimo Joe - Inshalla
    The Temper Trap - Conditions

    How depressing is this category? I have a sinking feeling that Sarah Blasko's cure for insomnia will win but I have my fingers crossed that Empire Of The Sun or The Temper Trap snatch it from her.


    Ladyhawke - Ladyhawke
    Shelley Harland - Red Leaf
    Sneaky Sound System - 2
    Andy Bull - We're Too Young
    Lisa Mitchell - Wonder
    Jessica Mauboy - Been Waiting

    Empire Of The Sun - Empire Of The Sun
    Bertie Blackman - Secrets And Lies
    Dash & Will - Up In Something

    NZ acts are clearly eligible, so where is Ladyhawke? People actually bought her album. Speaking of commercial success, why isn't Jessica Mauboy being rewarded for being the closest thing this country currently has to an authentic pop star? The lack of respect shown to Sneaky Sound System's stunning sophomore album is just rude, while Bertie Blackman has taken things to the next level with "Secrets And Lies". At least she snagged a best "Independent Album" nomination - poor Andy Bull's brilliant debut was completely ignored as was Shelley Harland's gorgeous "Red Leaf". That's not even touching on the injustice of Dash & Will's "Up In Something" being overlooked despite being the best teenage guitar-pop album released in recent memory.


    Empire Of The Sun - Walking On A Dream
    Hilltop Hoods - Chase That Feeling
    Ladyhawke - My Delirium
    Kate Miller-Heidke - The Last Day On Earth
    The Tempter Trap - Sweet Disposition

    This is one of the few categories I can't really criticise. "Walking On A Dream", "Sweet Disposition", "My Delirium" and "The Last Day On Earth" are all exquisite. "Chase That Feeling" isn't exactly my cup of tea but it's catchy as hell and perhaps the only example of local hip hop that broke through to the mainstream.


    Andy Bull - Small Town Girl
    Vanessa Amorosi - This Is Who I Am
    Zoë Badwi - Release Me
    Amy Pearson - Butterfingers
    Bertie Blackman - Byrds Of Prey
    Liena - Go Crazy
    Jessica Mauboy - Been Waiting
    Mandy Kane - 25 Seconds
    Ricki Lee - Don't Miss You
    Samantha Jade - Secret
    Lisa Mitchell - Coin Laundry
    @m8er - Kill That Bitch
    TV ROCK ft Rudy - In The Air
    Kylie - Chiggy Wiggy
    Evermore - Hey Boys And Girls (Truth Of The World)
    Lenka - The Show
    Natalie Imbruglia - Want
    Bluejuice - Broken Leg
    Bag Raiders - Shooting Stars
    Sneaky Sound System - I Will Be Here
    The Vanish - Heartbeat
    Nikki Webster - Devilicious

    This is such a tough category. I think the ARIA voters actually did a pretty good job - with the obvious exception of forgetting "Small Town Girl", which is one of my favourite Australian singles of all time. I also think Jessica Mauboy was hard done by seeing as she is the only local artist regularly scoring top ten hits and has delivered a couple of top notch singles in the form of "Burn" and "Been Waiting". Zoë Badwi's massive club hit "Release Me" deserved some recognition, while Bag Raiders' breakthrough single is a true thing of a beauty. Another glaring omission is Lisa Mitchell's "Coin Laundry", which remains one of 2009's quirkiest pop songs. With any luck Vanessa's amazing pop anthem (currently #1 on iTunes!) will get a nod next year.


    Sarah Blasko - As Day Follows Night
    Ladyhawke - Ladyhawke
    Jessica Mauboy - Been Waiting
    Kate Miller-Heidke - Curiouser
    Lisa Mitchell - Wonder

    With the exception of Sarah Blasko, this is pretty spot on. I used to hate Kate Miller-Heidke but "The Last Day On Earth" has made me a late convert and Lisa Mitchell's album is as beautiful as it is odd. Both Ladyhawke and Jessica Mauboy both featured heavily in my best of 2008 countdown, so it's nice to see them getting some props.


    Shelley Harland
    Bertie Blackman
    Samantha Jade

    There should be legislation in place to ensure Kylie is nominated every year even when she doesn't release anything. On a more serious note, I think Shelley Harland and Bertie Blackman were robbed and Lenka should get some sort of recognition for her international success. As should Samantha Jade, who continues to proudly fly the flag in LA (despite never having had a hit!) and even appears as a featured vocalist (on an iTunes bonus track) on David Guetta's smash hit album. $ucce$$!!!


    Paul Dempsey - Everything Is True
    Bob Evans - Goodnight, Bull Creek
    Daniel Merriweather - Love And War
    Josh Pyke - Chimney's Afire
    CW Stoneking - Jungle Blue

    Now this is completely fucking dire. I guess Daniel deserves some recognition for selling records in the UK but apart from being a hot piece he doesn't do much for me. No comment about the other nobodies.


    Andy Bull
    Jason Singh

    Poor Andy Bull. Are you cunts telling me he doesn't have more to offer than Josh Pyke, Bob Evans and Paul Dempsey? I don't even know who C.W. Stoneking is and I really don't want to! The pickings for this category are pretty slim but I would have thrown a nomination Brecik's way for shits and giggles, while Jason Singh sounded pretty good on Todd Watson's "World As You Know It". Where's John Farnham when you need him?


    The Drones
    Empire Of The Sun
    Eskimo Joe
    Hilltop Hoods

    This line up represents everything wrong about the Australian music scene. Fingers crossed that sanity prevails and Empire Of The Sun win.


    Empire Of The Sun
    Bag Raiders
    The Temper Trap
    Dash & Will
    The Vanish

    With Australian electro currently making waves around the globe, it seems appropriate that some of our best proponents of that genre (such as Bag Raiders and The Vanish) get some recognition. The Temper Trap should get a nod for the brilliance of "Sweet Disposition" alone. As for the other nominees, I think Dash & Will are the unsung heroes of 2009. They have released an amazing album and a string of great singles and noone seems to give a shit. I just hope they hurry up and release "Too Young Too Dumb" and finally achieve the commerical success they so richly deserve. Oh and RAEN should get something for carrying on in the face of constant failure.


    Art Vs Science - Art Vs Science
    Bluejuice - Broken Leg
    Ladyhawke - My Delirium
    Jessica Mauboy - Running Back Feat. Flo Rida
    Lisa Mitchell - Coin Laundry

    I love all these songs. Congratulations to the ARIA committee for getting it right.


    Zoë Badwi - Release Me
    Bag Raiders - Shooting Stars
    Liena - Go Crazy
    @m8er - Kill That Bitch

    Dance music is always underappreciated but Australia's new Queen of dance should be applauded for spending 7 weeks at #1 on the club chart. Liena's "Go Crazy" is the closest an Australian will ever get to sounding like Rihanna and probably would have been a massive hit if it got any kind of promotion. The same goes for "Shooting Stars", which I'm pretty confident will get a much better reception in Europe than at home. As for @m8er, well I think she'll have the last laugh. Her album promises to be amazing.


    Ladyhawke - Ladyhawke
    Jessica Mauboy - Been Waiting
    Lisa Mitchell - Wonder
    C.W. Stoneking - Jungle Blues
    The Temper Trap - Conditions

    Who the hell is C.W. Stoneking and how can it be a breakthrough album if NOONE has ever heard of him? The rest of the choices are pretty spot on.


    Andy Bull - We're Too Young
    Shelley Harland - Red Leaf
    Dash & Will - Up In Something

    I know I sound like a broken record but these are three of my favourite albums of 2009. Andy captures the spirit of 70s soul in a way that Daniel Merriweather could only dream of and has pretty much come up with the soundtrack to (what remains of) my youth! Shelley's opus has provided me with so much comfort and joy this year. Her music is raw, honest and beautiful. "Panic To Control" is my new personal mantra, while I sent "Clouds Disappear" to a special someone because it said everything I was feeling but couldn't express in words. I've ranted enough about Dash & Will but it really is a great album. "Fighting Over Nothing", "Save Me" and "Some Like It Hot" are homegrown guitar pop at its finest.


    Amy Pearson - Butterfingers
    Nikki Webster - Devilicious
    @m8er - Kill That Bitch
    The Wiggles & Kylie - Monkey Man
    Samantha Jade - Secret

    I thought I'd finish up with a category of my own. I find it hard to define "pop trash" but all these amazing anthems convey the essence of this website. Amy because of her utter desperation and sleazy lyrics. Nikki because she's a child star turned FHM glamour model. @m8er because she doesn't give a shit. Kylie for having a sense of humour. And finally Samantha Jade for dressing like a porn star and spending her video clip (below) trying to turn an arrested homosexual. Respect ladies!

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