There must be something wrong with me. Hating on Madonna is usually one of my favourite past times but lately I've found myself re-visiting some of the old troll's less grating moments. Like her cover of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" - or more specifically, the trashtastic Miami Mix. I don't know what it is about this camp mess but every time I hear it, I get the urge to build a time machine out of unsold copies of "Hard Candy" and travel back to 1997. You know, to an era when Madonna was still fun and didn't think twice about ruining a much loved classic of musical theatre in order to please the gays. And it worked. The Miami Mix was an Oxford Street smash and even crossed over to mainstream radio, pushing the song into the top 10 at a time when the poor man's Stacey Q couldn't buy a hit in Australia. In fact, listening to these 4 and a half glorious minutes of pure ridiculousness, I can't help but feel that Madonna's finest moments should be collated for eternity. Perhaps a compilation of her 90s trash classics? I'd throw in "Thief Of Hearts" and "Human Nature" for starters. Trust me, it would sell more than the "Immaculate Collection"!
Love her or loathe her, there's no denying that Lady Gaga is the current Queen of music videos. She claimed the throne with "Paparazzi" and has since gone from strength to strength. "Bad Romance" triumphantly mixed a seedy Europorn aesthetic with high fashion glamour to bring sex trafficking to the masses, while "Telephone" took things to the next level with its instantly iconic narrative, scene stealing cameo from the world's biggest superstar and long list of quirky 70s influences. And I expected more of that magic from today's premiere of "Alejandro". The preview looked quintessentially Gaga and I've been in love with the song from the first time I played "The Fame Monster" - so it's difficult to explain my intense disappointment at the finished product.
Lady Gaga has always been a master at blending her influences, lifting a Debbie Harry look here and a Grace Jones outfit there. It's never bothered me because she has an uncanny ability to take other people's ideas and make them her own. The same can not be said, however, for "Alejandro". Anyone old enough to actually remember the 80s will experience an alarming sense of deja vu when they sit down to watch this derivative montage of Madonna videos and tour moments. It amuses me that many of the same people that roasted Christina Aguilera's "Not Myself Tonight" video are calling Gaga's effort "a work of art". Bitch, please. This makes Xtina's cheerful homage look positively original by comparison. There's no denying the quality of the Steven Klein's direction, the brilliant cinematography or ingenious hair and make-up but we've seen it all before. As much as I hate to say it - Madonna really did do it first!
The men in high heels - tick Ripping off Leni Reifenstahl's Nazi/Aryan aesthetic - tick The Evita-tastic funeral procession - tick A factory/industrial setting ("Express Yourself" anyone?) - tick Male dancers homoerotically fighting/dancing (Girlie Show) - tick The choreography on the bed (see "Bye Bye Baby") - tick Religious imagery - tick A dance routine straight from "Vogue" - tick A pointy brassiere - tick Bondage gear a la "Erotica" - tick Faux rape (see "Like A Prayer") - tick
More disappointing still is the fact that Lady Gaga is starting to repeat herself. How long is she going to stick with the whole one ugly look followed by a glamorous look routine and is anyone else sick of seeing her dance in her underpants? Girl, invest in some feathers and sequins! The fame monster is in danger of becoming a caricature of herself. I just wish she would stop trying to be so damn self-important and serious. "Alejandro" is a joyous pop song. As MIA bitchily (but correctly) pointed out, it "sounds like Ibiza music". So why try to turn it into a funeral march for a demented nun into group sex and bad hairstyles? She just needs to embrace the fact that she makes throwaway fluff better than just about anyone and make a video starring Ace of Base as a thank you for borrowing their sound. The only good thing to come out of these eight and a half minutes of pointlessness is a new appreciation for Kylie's "All The Lovers" video. In comparison, that sweet little clip is positively revolutionary.
"Nothing Really Matters" is a pop-dance song from Madonna's seventh album Ray of Light (1998). The song received positive reception from music critics. The song was released as a single in the spring of 1999 and was a top ten hit in the United Kingdom, peaking at #7 on the UK Singles Chart. It also peaked at number one on the U.S. Billboard Hot Dance Club Play.Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Madonna Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
It must be a cold day in hell because I'm not totally repulsed by Madonna's latest offering. After the bad Dannii B-side that was "Celebration", the oldest woman in pop slightly redeems herself with the second single from her recent Greatest Hits compilation. The album version of "Revolver" is utterly tragic - fact - but calling in David Guetta to overhaul the song was a wise move. The Frenchman mercifully deletes Lil' Wayne's embarrassing rap, speeds up the plodding beats and trims away all the excess padding. Unfortunately, he can't do anything about the plethora of bad metaphors littering the lyrics but the marriage of sex and violence works a lot better in this version. The end result wouldn't sound out of place on Rihanna's gruesome "Rated R" - if that shit actually contained fun music. I really hope they go with this as the radio edit. It's kind of nice to enjoy a Madonna single again (it hasn't happened since 2006's "Get Together") and I think it's only fair she reap some benefit from the current electro-dance craze. After all, the super cougar was already burning up the dancefloor years before Lady GaGa and Ke$ha were even born. Check out Madonna Vs David Guetta below. The robotastic extended version is even better but I can't find it on youtube. Now that I've finally had something nice to say, can Madonna's army of trolls please stop spamming my email over this highly accurate post? Cheers.Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Madonna Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
"Material Girl" is the second single from singer-songwriter Madonna's 2nd studio album Like a Virgin, released on January 30, 1985. The song became another Top 5 hit for Madonna on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 and her third #1 single on Billboard Hot Dance Music/Club Play chart.Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Madonna Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
"La Isla Bonita" is the fifth and final single by American singer-songwriter Madonna from her third studio album, True Blue, released on February 25, 1987. The song was very popular and topped charts in the United Kingdom, Germany, France, Belgium and peaked at #4 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 chart. In 2007, French pop singer Alizée covered "La Isla Bonita" for her album Psychédélices.Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Madonna Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
"Celebration" is the first single by American recording artist Madonna from her third greatest hits compilation, Celebration, released on July 31, 2009. The dance-oriented song has influences of Madonna's singles from the eighties and nineties. It reached #1 on the Dance Club chart, becoming her 40th number-one song on the Dance Club chart, the most for an artist.Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Madonna Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
"Like a Prayer" is the first single by American singer-songwriter Madonna from her fourth studio album, Like a Prayer, released in February 1989. The song became one of Madonna's highest-selling singles in her career, selling over five million copies worldwide at the time of its release. The song later appeared remixed on the 1990 compilation album The Immaculate Collection.Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Madonna Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
"Justify My Love" is the first single by Madonna from her 1990 greatest hits compilation The Immaculate Collection (1990). The sexually explicit music video caused international controversy and was even banned by MTV. The single was also released as a video-single and became the highest selling video single of all-time.Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Madonna Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
It feels like I only just posted last week's Pop Panel but it's already that time again. I guess time really does fly when you're passed out on painkillers. Actually, this edition of the Panel has been one of the few bright spots in a pretty terrible week. In fact, I'd go as far as saying that it's probably my favourite Pop Panel ever. A great song won (although my heart is really with the bridesmaid), a rubbish anthem got deservedly trashed, I managed to rope in some classy guest bloggers and we have a truly amazing celebrity guest judge this week. A lot of fabulous people have volunteered their time for the Pop Panel over the past few months but this is the first (and probably only) time that a multi-million selling dance icon has joined the team - but more about her in a minute! First, I need to introduce the other judges:
It's always great to have my Swedish partner in crime on board and I'm excited to have poached D'Luv's right hand gay for this week's proceedings. But now for our celebrity guest judge! Chances are if you're over 25 and have ever set foot into a nightclub, you've probably danced to one of Gala's anthems. The strikingly beautiful Italian diva catapulted to fame in 1996 with the club classic "Freed From Desire". That song topped the charts in 8 countries, reached #2 in the UK (spending two months in the top 10) and sold over six million copies worldwide. Few tracks can claim to be genre defining but "Freed From Desire" changed the dance music landscape forever. Gala followed that up with a batch of fabulous floorfillers including the much loved gay anthem "Let A Boy Cry" and her last UK top 40 hit "Come Into My Life". Since then she has remained quite but Gala is on the precipice of a fabulous comeback with "Tough Love", her first album in over a decade, slated for release on the 6th of September. Before getting on with the votes, I took the opportunity to do some probing!
Gala, where have you been hiding? Your fans miss you! I have been embarking on various adventures. After a period in Italy and in the UK signed to a record label that didn't release anything for 5 years, I moved back to NY where I originally wrote my first hits and where my home is now in Brooklyn. I have always been writing, creating and exploring all sorts of music and other arts; photography, video, dance, choreography, writing etc... NY is the world brought down to size, you can learn and grow from some of the most talented people here.
I love to learn. I will be an eternal student and continue to learn all my life. I am also very eclectic and dream of living in the Renaissance period where an artist could write poetry and paint and make music without having to specialize obsessively in one thing like they do now, selling an image and branding it like a Coca Cola bottle. Unfortunately these days it is necessary because nobody sells records anymore.
Is it true you're about to embark on a comeback? What can we expect from your new sound? Yes, I am releasing my new album "Tough Love" through my independent label Matriarch Records. I don't expect millions of sales, I am aware that comes with money invested in PR. I am doing this completely independently so there is not a label pushing the release. It will be hard and challenging, but I believe that my music, done with DEDICATION, LOVE, HONESTY AND PERSEVERANCE will slowly but surely reach people. That is what I care about, reaching people. "Freed From Desire" is a true 90s classic. Did you realise at the time that you were recording a track that would define clubbing for an entire generation? I didn't realize it at first, but it was a personal goal to create something that would have a lasting impact. I was studying photography at the time and my goal was to create photos that in 50 years would still look timeless. For example I would photograph in black and white, because colors often give away the time period. I would photograph only faces, so that there was no reference to a time period in the clothes or the surroundings. I would try to capture 'classic' photographs.
And that is what I did when I wrote "Freed From Desire", I gained inspiration from people like Bessie Smith and a book of spirituals; things that for me are eternal. Eternal influences such as these are the basis of music. African music especially comes to mind. "Freed From Desire" was actually dedicated to an African man, his community and all they taught me.
What do you make of the current state of dance music? Who are your favorite acts? I really don't follow new music too much, I still listen to the classics. But I would be very interested to hear YOUR favorite remixers and DJ's so perhaps my fans can collaborate with me in this elaborate internet era to create some remixes for "Tough Love". I like Basement Jaxx and Sinden as remixers, but I'm not really an expert, I listen to all sorts of music from classical and country to blues, rock, soul and dance. Sometimes I'll check out a band my friends recommend to me but I don't really follow names or the latest news and gossip. Right now I am listening to Bill Withers.
I'm sure we can recommend some good DJs! Why do you think your music has struck such a deep chord with the gay community? I believe in bisexuality; I always wanted to bring the sexes together, I don't believe in sex roles like male and female. It is an act of feminism for me, but a lot of gay boys and girls felt a connection to what I was saying, because it was a new way of saying things, a new feminism that includes men too and their liberation - the freedom to be sensitive, 'LET A BOY CRY'!!! I suffered as a kid because I loved some of my girlfriends as much as the boys in the class, but it was 'forbidden'. I hate rules to LOVE. Rules for violence, rules for war, but not to LOVE.
Gala's latest single "Tough Love" is now available to download from iTunes. Check out the hot video below. Gala just keeps on getting sexier! The EP includes a great new rock remix of "Freed From Desire" as well as her recent European single "Faraway". I'll post more details about the album as they come to hand. Ok, so now for the Pop Panel. As usual the songs are ranked from least to most popular. Here goes:
D'Luv: The Feeling do it way better. 2/5 Gala: Not my kind of song, the video is fun though! 3/5 Mike: Someone force feed this skinny cunt a Big Mac - that video just turned my stomach. Mika is about as appealing as anal herpes and "We Are Golden" is no exception. 0/5 Moogaboo: So youthful. So colorful. So glam and gay and ... yeah, I hate it. I should love it but I really, really hate it, and him. Fuck off, Mika. Fuck off with your toodle-ee-OO-HOO high parts and your Freddie Mercury fetish and your shoes. Just... fuck off. 0/5 Rob: I love the Calvin Harris remix of "We Are Golden" but the original is okay. While he is still determined to bleed dry the Grange Hill theme tune I love this. 4/5 Tommie: Shite. 0/5 The Prophet: You know I've purposely avoided hearing this ever since it leaked because I hate Mika so much, and now that it's in the Pop Panel I have no choice, so here goes. *3 minutes later*. I was so angry because I started liking this, but the "we are golden" part ruined it all for me. 2/5 Total: 11/35
The lead single from Madonna's upcoming greatest hits compilation.
D'Luv: Shameless plug - MoogaBoo and I did a whole Madge banterview this week on Chart Rigger. It's nice to hear the old broad having fun again. This is better than at least 10 of the other singles she's released this decade. 3/5 Gala: Nothing new. As a kid, I listened to Prince... but I never bought a Madonna album only the 45 of "True Blue", the only song that to me sounded "true" from the heart. I think she was really in love for the first time when she dedicated it to Sean. Who knows... but that's what I thought. All her songs are good because they make us dance and I appreciate that, but this is really nothing new. Another money maker; as usual, still the material girl. I'm impressed by real rebellion and spirit, like Bob Marley when he performed. He connected with something that inspired him, not at all concerned about looks. Whereas Madonna is ALL about appearences. 3/5Mike: I've been referring to this crap as a Dannii B-side for weeks but I think that's an insult. To Dannii. Even she would steer clear of a spent force like Paul Oakenfold. Sad and pathetic. 1/5 Moogaboo: Madonna always mines the underground for high-minded, artsy inspiration, so it's no surprise she'd turn to Queen of the Clubs Dannii Minogue in her latest bid for continued relevance. Flattering though it must be for Dannielle Jane, the rip-off is a bit shameless. What next, Koala Cupcakes for Malawi? 3/5 Rob: Mike compares this to Dannii. I compare it to Mel C's "I Turn To You" which is ten years old this year. Happy Birthday! Despite the awful lyrics, this is a really good song. Well done Madonna. 3/5 Tommie: Lame. Someone get this Alzheimer hag a dictionary! 0/5 The Prophet: I actually don't mind some of her music but I just hate her personality. The song is pretty catchy but I don't support it since it sounds like a damn remix and not an actual song. It's also way gay, like as in obviously gay I'm dying for a hit gay. 2/5 Total: 15/35
Sneaky Sound System & Tiesto – I Will Be Here (Video)
Sneaky Sound System team up with one of the world's biggest DJs for this floorfiller.
D'Luv: ...and I'll be way over there. 1.5/5 Gala: The music is not interesting, it's like noise to me... but the guy can move... I like that!!! Original dance moves and music video. 2/5 Mike: Finally an anthem! I don't care what the rest of the Panel thinks, this is one of my favourite songs of 2009. Miss Connie delivers a killer vocal and I love the uplifting yet still slightly depressing chorus. The production is typical Tiesto but I'm all for the return of trance. 5/5 Moogaboo: So this is music for, like, computer tech assistants who want to kill themselves, right? Listening to it once has filled me with the urge to fix a screen saver, then throw myself in front of a bullet train. 1/5 Rob: Wow. The return of Infernal. Only crappier and more boring. 0/5 Tommie: This will be fun to have lesbian romp to in Ibeefa! Dannii's already having secretions thinking about it! 3/5 The Prophet: Hot. I'd give this a spin if I was in a mood for this type of music. 3.5/5 Total: 16/35
D'Luv: It's like someone injected Duffy with whore and then tasered her snatch till she agreed to wear Samantha Fox's leather jacket. 0.5/5 Gala: Good photography in the video, very trendy, fashionable, like a Details magazine. The song is fun, but she is too girly blonde for me. Doesn't add anything to what I see in fashion magazines. She's not daring. 3/5 Mike: "Mama Do" was a cure for insomnia, so the fact that this doesn't make me sleepy is a step in the right direction. I like the video and her saucy image but the song is very average. The chorus is too bland and her voice utterly generic. 2/5 Moogaboo: Like Pixie, I'm a whore for anything with a tambourine in it. Just kidding! I'm sure she obtained this song chastely. The video copies the Lady GaGa look a bit more successfully than Mumsy Imbruglia's offering, and it also contains one cute guy. That's all it takes. 4/5 Rob: This is the kind of music that Heidi (of the Sugababes) should be turning out rather than the paltry RedOne crap she's been reduced to singing. Okay, this ticks all the boxes. Amazing choreography, great song and great lyrics. I have been Pixied. One note of caution: hate the Skins-esq finish to the video. It looks like a smelly nightclub in Hoxton, London. Which is fine but seeing that kind of trope enter pop videos is weird seeing as I live in Hoxton and the skinny-jeans clones you see walking up Shoreditch High Street sometimes make you wince inside. So, in short love everything about this but the video and styling. 5/5 Tommie: Why so much shite this week, Mike? Do you hate me that much? 1/5 The Prophet: Yeah she's cute, but brit pop sucks unless it has the trash factor amped up. And was the GaGa swagga jacking and sitting in a teacup really necessary? 2.5/5 Total: 18/35
Natalie Imbruglia – Wild About It(Above)
A "promo" single from Natalie's soon to be released 4th album.
D'Luv: I'm always game for new Natalie music ever since she won me over with "White Lilies Island". This is getting royally trashed by folks online, but I don't mind it. Not her best, but better than Mika screeching in a G-string. 3/5 Gala: Bland. 2/5 Mike: Someone needs to put this sad cougar down. "Wild About It" is further proof that her younger sister Laura got all the talent, while Natalie was just blessed with an unprecedented ability to publicity whore. 1/5 Moogaboo: I normally love mid-tempo songs about being "wild," but this one raises too many questions. What is Natalie doing cleaning up after those kids? Why do they let her hang out with them? Does she buy them beer? What the hell is she thinking? 2/5 Rob: The more I hear this the more I love it. It's certainly a grower. I don't like "Want" but this is glorious. The video is brilliant too. 4/5 Tommie: I've never been a huge fan of Ms I'mfuglia but I'm excited about her new material. It's surprisingly good! 4/5 The Prophet: Absolute mess, but at least it isn't as bad as "Glorious". I didn't realise how lame she was until I picked up her greatest 'hits' during an impulse buy and I've had to live with the awful memories of that horrid day ever since. 1.5/5 Total: 18.5/35
D'Luv: I didn't realize there were any scraps left on Amy Winehouse's corpse for these chunky skanks to chew on. 2/5 Gala: Amy Winehouse was last year. It looks like a caricature of Amy. Good voice, great hair color and style. The boy is cute and WHO DOESN'T LOVE NEW YORK!!! Good title too. 3/5 Mike: This is every bit as derivative as Eva Simons' stunning effort last week but apparently it's ok to be an amoral swagga jackin' thief if you stick to ripping off Amy Winehouse and her army of second rate clones. 0/5 Moogaboo: Somebody get this girl to Broadway!!! For real -- get her there and lock her up in a new, endless revival of Grease 2, where she can't hurt us with her strained metaphors, Winehouse-lite torching or her bowling. (Seriously, BOWLING is an acceptable concept for videos now?) 1/5 Rob: Haunting, beautiful and iconic. Nearly everything about this is perfect. I don't think Paloma will ever manage to convey the tragedy that the lyrics she writes demand but this is absolutely stunning. I think the problem with Paloma is her voice. She can't do ballads or sad songs. She is more of a "I Will Survive" kinda vocalist. She can't quite capture fragility despite the amazing inclusion of the gospel, the strings and gorgeous overall melody of the song. I love this but I feel another female singer might have suited Paloma's song more than the writer herself. 5/5 Tommie: I was expecting to hate this, but the intro reminds me of Twin Peaks and the whole song is really gorgeous! But I'm a sucker for a twinkly piano. 4/5 The Prophet: Smash! 5/5 Total: 20/35
This plucky Australian diva tries to crack America with her latest pop jam.
D'Luv: Something tells me this helium-voiced stripper's talents lie elsewhere, like in being able to touch her ears with her toes. 1/5 Gala: I like the song, but we have Britney already, why do we need another? I don't like girls who imitate porn stars. You can be sexy without selling sex. I like women like Annie Lennox, that's more my style. 2/5 Mike: Oh bless her. It seems like Samantha has been hailed as Australia's next pop superstar since Dannii had all her original body parts. "Secret" probably isn't going to be the song that does it for her either but this is still a faux Britney trash anthem of the highest calibre. The video's subtle gay subtext is also really clever and completely unexpected. I love her. 5/5 Moogaboo: Samantha knows how to work it like a slut fatale, with relentlessly sexy synth stabs and a vocal performance just shy of meowing for three minutes. This song is super catchy and, most importantly, super slutty and trashy and fun. Is she really trying to make it in the States? We can only hope! 5/5 Rob: This is mental. I don't know where to start with this. The song is boring. The video is weird. Is it a social comentary on the 1950's & 60's were gay men had to hide their sexuality or they'd face prosecution? A time when the police would round men up after crashing "queer" jazz venues and question their right to exist? It certainly looks like it. It's a shame about the song being so utterly boring as I can't provide marks for the video rather primarily the songs. So with a heavy heart, I give this 1/5. Tommie: A cheap hooker singing a "Womanizer" rip-off? I love it. 5/5 The Prophet: I hate that I love this but I'm literally obsessed with it. "Somebody's got a little secret!" Love it! 4.5/5 Total: 23.5/35
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
The Gossip – Love Long Distance (Below)
Beth Ditto & co return for the 2nd single from "Music For Men".
D'Luv: Much like when a hooker cries, I'd never pay for this but I don't mind hearing it. 3/5 Gala: I LOVE BETH DITTO GOSSIP! She is the closest to my spirit and we actually have friends in common here in NY. She is powerful and free, I love women like her... A true rock and roll FEMINIST. 5/5 Mike: I dream of spoon feeding Beth scoop after scoop Häagen-Dazs before sensuously rubbing baby oil into all her nooks and crannies. She is a diva that deserves to be worshipped. As for the song, I don't love it as much as "Heavy Cross" but a Fred Falke remix would jazz it up no end. 4/5 Moogaboo: Okay, either my Skyy & Diet is kicking in or she's deliberately sounding like Lady Miss Kier. Love her now. This song is a disco monster. Minus one point for doing that "she's fat so let's disguise her in the video" thing. (Even if they do it in an adorable way). 4/5 Rob: It's nice to hear The Gossip step out of the box they've constructed for themselves. However does it make it any good? No. It starts ever so promising but you soon realize they've got nothing more to give. It transcends into boring. 2/5 Tommie: I'm not a huge fan of the fat bitch, but this is... okay. 2.5/5 The Prophet: Another smash from one of my faves. Not only is the song amazing but the video is incredible to! Love them. 5/5 Total: 25.5/35
"Take a Bow" is a song by American singer Madonna from her 1994 album Bedtime Stories, and her longest-running number-one hit ever (7 weeks) in the United States. The song was released as a single in December 1994. Madonna performed the song with Babyface (who co-wrote the song) at the 1995 American Music Awards.
"Don't Tell Me" is the second single by American singer-songwriter Madonna from her 8th studio album Music, released on November 21, 2000. The song peaked at number four on the U.S. charts and spent eight weeks in the top ten. In 2005, the song placed at #285 on Blender Magazine's "The 500 Greatest Songs Since You Were Born".
I was introduced to Tom Zacharias' infamous 1975 smut opus "Belinda" a couple of weeks ago and I'm still listening to it on repeat. Originally recorded in Swedish, the album was later translated into English with the sole intent of selling it in the classified sections of Hustler and Playboy - which is not particularly surprising given songs like "Nice Cocks", "Gay Club" and "The Hooker". Those gems are audio heroin for a pop trash addict but there's one track I can't seem to enjoy for the simple reason that it reminds me of Madonna. Seriously when I hear this tune the cover of "Hard Candy" immediately flashes before my eyes and images of Madonna's sinewy old biceps haunt my dreams. The lyrics are even more Madge-tastic given the recent leak of the musical turd doubling as her new single. Anyway, misery loves company, so I thought I'd share my pain by streaming:
An Ode To Madonna
Please note - you may need to press the button a couple of times before the song plays. Tom Zacharias' stunning pop/punk/porn album is now available to download from iTunes. It's highly recommended for sluts and perverts of all persuasions!Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Madonna Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
I have spent more than my fair share of time trawling the internet for pop news over the past few years and I'm constantly amused and entertained by the loopy fans I come across each and every day. Interacting with these delicate creatures can be confronting if you don't know what to expect, so I've put together a beginner's guide for newcomers. Here are my cheat notes for fruitful interaction with ten of the most bewildering and unique species of fan currently inhabiting cyberspace (in order of their level of delusion).
10. Mariah's Lambs
The first group of dedicated fans to be dragged under the Pop Trash microscope belong to Mariah. Their nickname originates from Mimi's habit of referring to friends, family and her small army of pharmacists as "lambs" - a label her fans now use as a badge of honour. These critters tend to be as warm and lovely as their animal namesake. Like Mariah, I suspect most Lambs are too high on Vicodin to chat about more than fairies and rainbows. Other happy topics include Mariah's record 18 US #1 hits and her titanic albums sales.
Delusion Factor: Moderate. According to The Lambs, Mariah was robbed of an Oscar for her work in "Glitter" and her albums never flop. They're just really HUGE in Japan.
Warning: Any mention Tommy Motola of Jennifer Lopez tends to throw these otherwise peaceful beings completely over the edge. They will start to cry and begin reciting chart statistics from the 90s, so tread carefully!
9. Toy Soldiers
As a loud and proud Toy Soldier, it's hard to be objective about this delightful species. Outsiders might have a completely different perspective but I find La Toya's long suffering fans to be both down to earth and downright hilarious. Our holy icon has never had a hit single in her 30 year career, so we're extra careful about throwing stones in our lovely glass house. Instead of bitching about other divas, we concentrate on loftier pursuits like making stunning fan art (above) and tracking down Toy collectibles from her major markets like Uganda and Romania.
Delusion Factor: Medium. Even the most ardent Toy Soldier is realistic about La Toya's shortcomings but we're still waiting with baited breath for her comeback album - 7 long years later.
Warning: Any mention of La Toya's much less talented sister Janet is like feeding red cordial to a child with ADHD. Avoid at all costs or face the consequences!
Leona has never, ever copied Mariah!
8. Leona's Loons
A relatively new but disturbing blight on internet fandom is the emergence of Leona's Loons. It's hard to imagine such a useless waste of space could actually warrant a fanbase but Leona's nausea inducing mediocrity is apparently some kind of inaudible siren's call to the mentally unbalanced. Popular activities include importing international editions of "Spirit" and bashing Alexandra Burke. Although it's hard to blame them for the second activity.
Delusion Factor: High. Leona's Loons deny all comparisons with Mariah, claim their horse faced leader has a better voice than any other diva in existence and rebuke insinuations that Simon Cowell played any role in their idol's success.
Warning: Excessive exposure to this bunch is enough to drive anyone to drink.
7. The Brit Bots
The average Brit Bot is a harmless homosexual with a soft spot for washing down a bag of Cheetos with a super-sized Diet Coke. While fairly innocuous as individuals, the Brit Bots are almost unbearably annoying when they come together as a collective. The level of denial on display would throw Dr Phil into a coma. The Bots steadfastly refuse to see Britney as anything other than a perennial victim of circumstance. The paparazzi are blamed for making her fat, crazy and constantly pregnant. At least they're usually too busy discussing Britney's brand of anti-depressants to bother other fan groups.
Delusion Factor: High. According to the Bots - Britney never mimes, she just sings over a backing track! Her photos are never airbrushed and she's still a great role model for girls.
Warning: Christina Aguilera fans are not exactly welcomed with open arms. You've been warned!
Janet - The picture of class and dignity
6. Janatics/Janazis
Janatics are the Tasmanian Tigers of the internet. After three flop albums, Janet's fans are a dying breed. Unfortunately, the leftovers tend to be humourless Jackson obsessives in their twilight years or truly deluded individuals who claim "Discipline" was a worldwide smash hit. Both groups are dull but generally inoffensive, unlike the nasty sub-species of Janet fandom known as the Janazis. These charmers spend their days sowing voodoo dolls in JT's image and get their kicks spamming other Jackson fansites.
Delusion Factor: Sky high. Common cries include - Janet is still at the top of her game. Her last 3 albums were all massive and if they weren't, then it's Jermaine Dupri's fault for giving all the best songs to Mariah. Janet is not and has never been fat. She's never had lipo or any other plastic surgery. Her songs are completely age appropriate and Nipple-gate was all Justin Timberlake's fault.
Warning: Prolonged exposure to this crowd can result in a complete break with reality. A general Jackson fansite is a better option for level headed Janet fans.
5. Al Kylieda
I don't know what happened to Kylie fans. We were such a fun, tight-knit bunch before "Fever" exploded and the dregs of society started flooding into Kylie fan sites across the internet. Appreciating the performer and her music has been replaced by constant bitching and an overwhelming sense of negativity. To combat this dire situation, many formerly balanced fans have become overly militant, resulting in the formation of Al Kylieda. These diehards live in a bubble (ie. Kylie.com) where any kind of criticism is completely taboo. As far as Al Kylieda is concerned, the elder Minogue farts liquid gold and rides a pink unicorn to and from the studio each day.
Delusion Factor: Extreme. Members of Al Kylieda have been known to throw themselves in front of Kylie's limo to get autographs (I think she should just keep driving) and spend hours comparing their Kylie tattoos. Strangely, none of them seem to believe in actually paying money for their idol's music.
Warning: If you want to sharpen your bitch claws, head over to your nearest Kylie fansite and start spewing bile. You'll never be lonely.
4. GA-yers
GA-yers, or cunts as I like to call them, are the sorry souls who worship at the altar of Girls Aloud. This sad species can be divided into two separate groups. The first is mainly comprised of teenage gays who simply don't know any better. They pollute forums across the internet with text speak conversations like:
The second group is far more insidious. Comprised mainly of aging homosexuals desperate to jump on any kind of pop bandwagon, this sub-species tries to justify their disingenuous actions by hailing Girls Aloud as the saviours of pop and throw around terms like "cutting edge innovators". I blame Pop Justice.
Delusion Factor: Frightening. Anyone who thinks these 5 slappers are anything but puppets of a once great production house needs medical attention.
Warning: GA-yers are becoming increasing unavoidable. I find posting this link tends to throw them off your scent.
Still the girl next door... to the plastic surgeon
3. Brainless Breltas (from the Cult of Dulta)
A Brelta is a highly disturbed individual who pledges allegiance not only to Dulta but also to her equally vile fiance, Brian McFadden. These poor creatures live in a world where your worth is judged by the number of photos you have with Dulta and how many copies of "Innocent Eyes" you own. Multiple purchases of each new release are not only looked upon favourably but expected. Outsiders are generally treated with complete mistrust and any criticism of Dulta or her porky Irishman will result in an instant fight.
Delusion Factor: Through the roof. A group of fans once got together to record a rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings" for Dulta. Enough said.
Warning: Kerry Katona fans need not apply.
Madonna - a natural beauty according to her trolls
2. Madonna Trolls
Madonna Trolls are the great travellers of the internet. While most crazy fans are happy to remain among their own kind, Madge worshippers take great delight in rounding up new recruits and spend most of their time causing trouble on websites and forums dedicated to other divas. Interestingly, American Madonna trolls hold a special grudge against Mariah, while their English counterparts tend to focus their attention on Kylie. Camouflaged trolls can be distinguished by the speed with which they say "Madonna did it first".
Delusion Factor: Massive. They steadfastly believe that Madonna is the only diva capable of an original thought and deny all claims of plastic surgery. One Troll memorably put her new cheekbones down to pilates.
Warning: The Trolls have low standards. Anyone capable of listening to "Hard Candy" more than once will probably have a ball with them.
1. Dannii Droids
And the award for the most deluded fanbase on the internet goes to the Dannii Droids. The younger, more talented Minogue is clearly a diva worthy of some serious worship but the Dannii Board (the home of The Droids) is an alternate universe unto itself. This is a place where Dannii's next single is always a sure fire #1 hit and Nafensays is looked upon as a holy deity for drip feeding the occasional piece of useless information. I'm constantly amazed that such a lovely diva can appeal to so many deranged individuals.
Delusion Factor: Nuclear. Favourite conspiracy theories - Kylie has been sabotaging Dannii's career from the start. Kylie got cancer to ruin Dannii's career. Kylie returned from having cancer to ruin Dannii's career. Dannii is a bigger star than Madonna in Australia because Dannii's biggest flop charted higher than Madonna's biggest flop. For a full expose on the Droids, check out Jay's riveting post on Postcards From Puerto Rico.
"Give It 2 Me" is the second single by American singer-songwriter Madonna from her eleventh studio album, Hard Candy. Released in mid 2008, the video features American singer-songwriter Pharrell, who co-wrote and co-produced the song.
"La Isla Bonita" or "The Beautiful Island" was the fifth and final single by American singer-songwriter Madonna from her third studio album, True Blue (1997). French pop singer, Alizée covered the song during her first promotional tours in Europe in 2001, but it wasn't until 2008 that a new studio version had been recorded and included on a special edition for her album, "Psychédélices" in Mexico. The song so far has gone on to become a hit becoming Alizée's first top ten single on the national top ten airplay chairt.
"Me Against the Music" is a song performed by Britney Spears featuring Madonna for Spears' fourth studio album In the Zone (2003). The video itself reached number one on the TRL Countdown and stayed there for a record-breaking twenty consecutive days.
"Hard Candy" is the musical equivalent of being fisted by a thick wristed dwarf - a potentially amusing experiment that turns out to be nothing more than a monumentally embarrassing pain in the arse. Somebody wake me when Madonna's mid-life crisis is over. 1.5/10Source URL: https://popmusicrecords.blogspot.com/search/label/Madonna Visit pop music records for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
"4 Minutes" is the first single by American singer-songwriter Madonna from her eleventh studio album Hard Candy, released on March 17, 2008. It features American singer-songwriter Justin Timberlake and Timbaland who also co-wrote and co-produced the song.
There must be something wrong with me. Hating on Madonna is usually one of my favourite past times but lately I've found myself re-visiting some of the old troll's less grating moments. Like her cover of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" - or more specifically, the trashtastic Miami Mix. I don't know what it is about this camp mess but every time I hear it, I get the urge to build a time machine out of unsold copies of "Hard Candy" and travel back to 1997. You know, to an era when Madonna was still fun and didn't think twice about ruining a much loved classic of musical theatre in order to please the gays. And it worked. The Miami Mix was an Oxford Street smash and even crossed over to mainstream radio, pushing the song into the top 10 at a time when the poor man's Stacey Q couldn't buy a hit in Australia. In fact, listening to these 4 and a half glorious minutes of pure ridiculousness, I can't help but feel that Madonna's finest moments should be collated for eternity. Perhaps a compilation of her 90s trash classics? I'd throw in "Thief Of Hearts" and "Human Nature" for starters. Trust me, it would sell more than the "Immaculate Collection"!
" is the second single by American singer-songwriter 
. Released in mid 2008, the video features American singer-songwriter 
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